Memoirs of a Dirty Old Man in Thailand

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9781514742549: Memoirs of a Dirty Old Man in Thailand
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This is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. This is the adventures of Cliff an Appalachian Hillbilly, his youth in the beautiful Smokey Mountains, and his struggle to escape his pleasurable poverty. Sunday, driving to the airfield to meet Mike for my first parachute jump, reality swept over me. “This is for real.” No more posing in front of the mirror. I had to stop the car, my legs were shaking so much. I thought of backing out. Maybe I could sell the parachute to someone with bigger balls. Diane and I expecting our first child, I read up on parenthood. A waste of time, parenthood cannot be described. It is a magical process that has to be experienced. Just hang on for the ride. The 1974 divorce epidemic in Columbus was a phenomenon. My divorce was heart breaking, but the flip side of this sad affair was that the epidemic left a multitude of sex starved young moms sitting at home, minding their children. I helped this cause by servicing a different young mom, every night of the week. On transfer, the Hillbilly embraced the Big Apple. Sunday morning, Abigail came to my Greenwich Village apartment with a VW Beetle. I can’t remember where we were going, but she let me drive. We drove down Broadway as though we owned it. Sunday mornings in Manhattan, there were hardly any cars. 1961, driving the Porsche to Berlin, was an adventure. “What’s this up ahead?” Standing in the highway was a Vopo signalling for me to stop. “Maybe he wants to capture a Hillbilly.” No, no he just directed me to take a short detour. In Kaiserslautern, after dating Gita for three weeks, I finally slipped her panties off, and we consummated our relationship. Gita seemed very grateful. I think that she was worried that I would never make a move. I had stopped on the small, winding road behind our Kaiserslautern Kaserne, for a train that was blocking the road. I got out of the Beetle to ask how long I would have to wait. In front of me, I saw a young German man standing by his motor scooter. He told me that he had hit the train with his scooter. His scooter looked okay. I asked him if he was hurt. He said, “No, but my girlfriend is dead.” I saw no girl until he pointed between the boxcars. On the other side of the train, a lovely blonde girl was lying peacefully in the road. Twenty years in Florida was a dream. Until I visited Thailand, I thought I would never leave Florida. Noi told me that she entered the sex business when she was eleven years old. She said that she sold her virginity to a Japanese man for 40,000 baht. She wanted to help her mom. Thailand’s bar scene is nice, but when you yearn for something with more meaning, a whole new Thailand awaits you. Take some Thai lessons. There are many great girls waiting to share their life with you. They work in the department stores, banks, etc. These girls will show you the real Thailand. One evening in Chiang Rai, I went into the Lobo Bar. My friend Em, came to my table. She wanted to go to my room. Our previous sex play was lacklustre. This night we had sweet sex. She was like a different girl. Next morning when I woke up, we were nude, sleeping on our backs. Em was asleep holding my dick in her hand. I and my Army buddies were enjoying beer at the October beer tent in Kaiserslautern. Two MPs came to our table, told us to return to our barracks, that it was past curfew. We walked outside. In front of our exit, was the MP’s jeep. Knowing that it would be a cold walk back to the barracks, and that the jeep required no ignition key, we jumped into the MP’s jeep, and hauled ass back to the barracks.

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