2020 Nominee - Amelia Bloomer List Winner of the 2019 Eureka! Gold Awards There's more to being a boy than sports, feats of daring, and keeping a stiff upper lip. A Boy Like You encourages every boy to embrace all the things that make him unique, to be brave and ask for help, to tell his own story and listen to the stories of those around him. In an age when boys are expected to fit into a particular mold, this book celebrates all the wonderful ways to be a boy.
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It's long been believed, taught, and reinforced that a boy should "tough it out" and solve problems on his own. And then, as a man, be independent or self-reliant - always trying to fix things on his own. These are just two of myriad tenets of masculinity that define "manhood" and guide the passage of boys to men.
I try to combat many of these creeds of masculinity with A Boy Like You. As an elementary school teacher for 27 years, I have seen the power that books can have in opening discussions in classrooms and in families. I've also seen the stresses of confusing messages and expectations placed on boys, stresses that lead to ideas about masculinity that can be toxic - dangerous to the development of young minds and hearts of boys; and to those around them. One of the most important messages in A Boy Like You discusses bravery. Over the course of two pages, the text reads: "Here's a secret that not many people know. Fear and bravery are partners. You can't be brave without first being afraid. If you're not ready to be brave--ask for help. This shows you're smart." I broach the topic of bravery, in part, to segue into the notion of asking for help. Bravery is a topic that gets the attention of boys, it's almost like it's endowed for boys. (It's not supposed to be - see my book entitled Brave Clara Barton)! But discussing bravery first, with boys, and then introducing the concept of asking for help is a great way to teach boys that it's okay to be vulnerable, sometimes - it's one way that we learn and grow. If you look up synonyms for "vulnerable" one of them is "ready" - I love this notion of being ready. Ready to grow and ready to learn. And ready to show a different and new kind of strength, a new kind of masculinity.
If we can teach our boys that it's smart to ask for help, they'll start doing it. They'll work with others who they may not have otherwise. They'll learn more patience and acceptance. Ultimately, we'll have a whole new generation of young men who are ready to develop elite collaborative skills like listening, taking turns, expressing feelings and empathy, responding positively to failure, and solving problems without aggression.
If we don't teach our boys to know when and how to ask for help, then they won't succeed in their classrooms, their teams, their clubs, their workplaces, and in the families they one day help create. And ironically, they'll never acquire the skills to succeed and to navigate the world on their own.Thanks for considering purchasing A Boy Like You.- Frank Murphy
Frank Murphy is a teacher who writes and a writer who teaches. His favorite subjects are teaching young writers and teaching leadership. He has written several books including The Legend of the Teddy Bear and Brave Clara Barton. But, he believes the most important book he'll ever write is A Boy Like You! Being a father to his sons, Griffin and Chase Murphy (who are now adults!), helped Frank shape the messages found in this book. He lives in Chalfont, PA.
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