The Tao of Tango - Softcover

Siegmann, Johanna

Softcover

ISBN 10: 155212410X ISBN 13: 9781552124109

Publisher: Trafford Publishing, 2006

Synopsis

How to achieve balance in your life through Tango .... even if you can't dance.

About this title

About the Author

At the tender age of 4, a light bulb went on over Johanna's head. Literally. Although born in New York, she moved with her family when she was three to a tiny Mexican town where milk was still delivered on donkeys. The only blond in town, she really stood out on the Cinco de Mayo parade float she rode, patting out tortillas. One night, on a bare plywood stage lit by naked light bulbs, she did the twist for her kindergarten recital in front of a gaggle of adoring parents. And even if a star was not born, the glow of that little bare bulb never left her. When she was five she moved to Mexico City, and attended the American School from which she eventually graduated. Apparently, that got the travel bug going, and she was very fortunate to trot around the world, visiting most of Western (and some of eastern) Europe, a good chunk of South America, Africa, India/Nepal, Mexico, the Caribbean, the United States, and Canada.

Johanna received her B.A. in English and American Literature from Pitzer College in Claremont, CA, (with a semester abroad in England) and returned to Mexico where she began a short-lived career as a copywriter in advertising. Her work brought her to New York where, after four years of "bigger, better, and improved", she headed the call of that bulb from the past: acting. In the ensuing years her writing was put on hold until several years after her move to California. In the aftermath of a divorce, she was introduced to the Argentine Tango, an event that would prove to be a turning point in her life. The floodgates were thrust open and Johanna began writing again, completing several articles, a couple of plays, a handful of short stories, and, of course, The Tao of Tango.

Johanna has been dancing the Tango since 1995, performing in the U.S. and abroad, and has been a private coach and practice partner for several years. More recently she has developed a workshop based on The Tao of Tango, which has met with great enthusiasm.

Besides writing, Johanna also directs plays, enjoys hiking in the hills around her home in Los Feliz, California, and has a fetish for felines - a trait her darling beloved tolerates bravely.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

I have often been described as outgoing, aggressive, impulsive, intimidating, gregarious, courageous, and daring. Male energy traits. However, I have never been addressed as "sir", or even been described as masculine. In other words, I am female physically, and male energetically. Apparently, this can be very disconcerting to the opposite sex. Equally disconcerting to women is a man whose female energy is in control, always nurturing, caring and sensitive. What s a woman to do with a man that cries more than she does? And when I look about me, I see legions of people with the same dilemma: physically feminine women with decidedly masculine energy traits, or men who ve pounded one too many drums. Regardless of gender, it seems that too many of us have one thing in common: we are unable to find a mate that matches our needs.

How often did I hear, "You are so attractive/funny/ interesting/amusing/intelligent, why aren t you with a man?" Yeah?! Why wasn t I? I never believed you needed a partner to be "complete"; a partner should complement you. However, if I have "dominant masculine energy", a woman like me would have to find a man whose female energy is dominant. But when these men did present themselves, I overwhelmed and overpowered them. I was "intimidating". On the other hand, I came close to blows with men whose masculine energy obliterated their female energy, since if felt they were trivializing a part of me. I was a "smart-ass" (which is no surprise to my mother ). We all appeared to be energetically out of synch. What was a girl (or guy) to do?

As a child I was encouraged to follow my dreams, be whatever I wanted, not to ask permission to express my creativity, be my own person, not depend on any one or any thing for my happiness and fulfillment. I have no regrets about this upbringing, but translating it into a successful relationship had somehow eluded me.

I was alternately described as too independent, too intimidating, too self-sufficient, too aggressive. We were, however, obviously not talking about behavior; because even though I had a really fast sports car and drove like a guy, I was still perceived as feminine. But, even though I wore make-up, knew how to boil water, and cried at manipulative movies, men still considered me "intimidating". I just didn t get it.

For years I had been presented with a life lesson which I was simply unable to internalize: the basic dynamics between male/female energies in a committed relationship. Or any male/female relationship. Period.

I was told by those wiser than I that my male/female energies were out of kilter. Heck, if I couldn t even distinguish each in myself (and I was supposedly a quasi-moderately enlightened and pseudo-partially open-minded sort of spiritual individual), how would I ever be able to alter the balance? And a male/female relationship within myself? Was such a thing even possible?

The effort to be more "female/passive" sent me into a panic and left me feeling helpless and stupid. I felt like I had to let myself down, pretending to be weak when I didn t feel that way, compromising my behavior in a way that felt uncomfortable, manipulative, and ultimately, unsustainable. Eventually, I was going to hang the damn picture myself, anyway.

It just never made sense to me, this "female/passive, masculine/aggressive" nonsense. Who decided that women have to be weak and men strong? We each are the way we are. I was born strong. I have big bones The notion that this male/female energy was of a more psychic universal nature (and therefore interactive and malleable) and not related to behavior (hanging pictures) was totally lost on me. Like that song in Oklahoma says, " how can I be what I ain t?" I couldn t seem to let go of my own definitions:

Female = passive, submissive.
Passive = pushover, pathetic.
Submissive = victim, loser.

I could not make the conscious, spiritual leap from what passive and submissive on the earth plane meant when applied to the spiritual, universal male/female forces.

To realize that both these energies co-existed in everyone in varying degrees sounded nice in theory but just wouldn t fit under my skin. I understood that the balance of these forces was essential in maintaining any healthy relationship: with one s partners, work, environment, even with oneself. But I couldn t imagine how to achieve this energy balance if it didn t already exist. I thought the imbalance was part of the life lesson, the handicap you had to struggle with toward "enlightenment". I had no idea how I could possibly try to be what I wasn t without losing "myself" in the process. I checked, and although I found a whole bunch of buttons, none of them said "reset".

"Pretending" to be "feminine" was simply not an option; not only was it artificial, at some point the façade was bound to collapse. I never understood that there was a monumental difference between male and female energy and male and female behavior.

I had begun to believe that my life was on an unalterable course in terms of my relationships and of my spiritual understanding; of what it meant to be a "modern" woman, caught between the fierce struggle for independence and emotional longing to be cared for; between the outward material trappings of achievement and the intense yearning for spiritual growth. Was I going to have to be "cute" to be loved?

It seemed hopeless. I could not reconcile the theory of male and female energy with its practical application. I could not see how I could possibly be both "spiritually balanced" and "materially successful".

Then I received that proverbial phone call that changed everything.

Edition details

• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Publication date: 2006
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 155212410X
• ISBN 13: 9781552124109
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 168