He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears Sabotaging Your Relationships - Hardcover

Carter, Steven; Sokol, Julia

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 1567313701 ISBN 13: 9781567313703

Publisher: Mjf Books, 2000

Synopsis

Available for the first time in paperback, this follow-up to the phenomenally successful Men Who Can't Love tackles the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom gained by personal experience, He's Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.


From the Trade Paperback edition.

About this title

From the Back Cover

"The authors' achievement is that they have gone beyond the obvious avoidance patterns to uncover the more subtle ways men and women sabotage love." -- Publisher's Weekly

From Kirkus Reviews

A heavy dose of pop advice and sympathetic handholding for those whose anxieties about commitment are messing up their love lives. Carter and Sokol (What Really Happens in Bed, 1989, etc.) explore why some men and women have trouble making a commitment, defined here as a ``promise to participate in a well-intentioned, monogamous, open-minded, responsible, and realistic relationship.'' The topic isn't a new one for the authors, who examined ``commitmentphobia'' in Men Who Can't Love (1987). But times have changed, they say, and now women, too, have their doubts and fears--hence this new look at the problem. Carter and Sokol first consider the two basic types of commitment conflict- -``active'' and ``passive,'' with men predominating in the active role. They demonstrate how these conflicts play out in relationships, with plenty of examples garnered from eight years' worth of interviews with people about their relationships. The authors then ask readers to take various quizzes to discover significant patterns of behavior in their relationships with the opposite sex and to determine what their commitment fears are; here, again, anecdotes about troubled couples provide ample illustrations. Finally, Carter and Sokol offer a guide for managing conflicts and changing relationships. Although they state that they're writers, not therapists, their advice derives from Carter's experience in leading support groups for those with commitment anxieties. Of some initial appeal to those who enjoy taking relationship quizzes--but unlikely to hold the interest of any but the truly--well, committed. (First serial to New Woman) -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Edition details

• Publisher: Mjf Books
• Publication date: 2000
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1567313701
• ISBN 13: 9781567313703
• Binding: Hardcover
• Number of pages: 352