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Synopsis
A female private eye dispels the myths and misconceptions about cheating and outlines what to watch for, how to investigate suspicious situations, unravel the clues, find proof, and deal with the consequences of an affair. Original.
"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.
About the Author
Julia Hartley Moore has, in her own words, lived a full life ― a mother at 15, she had three children by the time she was 17, and has been married and divorced several times. She knows the cost of infidelity on a personal level. She lives in Auckland, NZ.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The signs
-Let's get physical
Out of the blue your man says it's time to lose a bit of weight, tone up the old body and generally get in shape. Any sudden changes in behaviour are key signs. For example, Sue's husband hadn't been a slob by any means; he enjoyed his food but apart from a couple of games of golf he did little to keep fit. Then he decided to join a gym but not one close to home where he and Sue could work out together but on the other side of town and even then some distance from his office. When Sue enquired why he'd join a gym so far from home he trotted out the excuses that it was cheaper and they ran programmes for people who were just starting to get in shape again.
And so his new regime started but we found out his workout regime was a little different to the one he'd told Sue about. Yes, he did go to the gym early each morning but on some days and especially on a Saturday (Sunday was his day of rest) he would join his lover at her home - where he would still get extremely physical in the horizontal position.
So what was it that alerted Sue to his indiscretion? Well, first of all it was the obvious, the sudden change in behaviour. But second and most important, it was that a gym with such a cheap membership scheme could afford the most expensive French soap for their showers!
-Breastfeeding the mobile phone
Secrecy is one of the biggest giveaways that someone is betraying you. There's nothing wrong with one's own privacy but excessive secrecy in a marriage is another thing altogether. Watch how someone's behaves with his or her mobile phone. Do they:
-keep it close to them at all times?
-take it in the bathroom with them?
-take it with them when they put the rubbish out?
-constantly look at their phone (a giveaway for text messages)?
-when you are close by and it rings do they start walking away out of earshot?
-leave it in the car or switched off and occasionally check for messages?
The key here is that when you have nothing to hide you hide nothing. When your partner is hiding something from you, you'll notice that the phone bill, bank statements and credit card statements conveniently end up at work, and in fact, nothing comes home at all. Recently one my investigators was clearing the company mail from the post office box and noticed a man also clearing his mail. When he opened his mobile phone account he tore up the list of calls made into very small pieces. He then threw these into the waste bin, wrote a cheque for the amount of the bill and dropped this in the mail. Think about it - when you have nothing to hide you hide nothing.
So when you ask to see these records, whether it's for phone or credit card, your requests can cause a huge problem. You may be told they've been thrown away or they'll be brought home but they never seem to materialise. Don't accept these excuses because records are kept for seven years and a simple phone call to the phone or credit card company will elicit them within a few days.
-Let's get physical
Out of the blue your man says it's time to lose a bit of weight, tone up the old body and generally get in shape. Any sudden changes in behaviour are key signs. For example, Sue's husband hadn't been a slob by any means; he enjoyed his food but apart from a couple of games of golf he did little to keep fit. Then he decided to join a gym but not one close to home where he and Sue could work out together but on the other side of town and even then some distance from his office. When Sue enquired why he'd join a gym so far from home he trotted out the excuses that it was cheaper and they ran programmes for people who were just starting to get in shape again.
And so his new regime started but we found out his workout regime was a little different to the one he'd told Sue about. Yes, he did go to the gym early each morning but on some days and especially on a Saturday (Sunday was his day of rest) he would join his lover at her home - where he would still get extremely physical in the horizontal position.
So what was it that alerted Sue to his indiscretion? Well, first of all it was the obvious, the sudden change in behaviour. But second and most important, it was that a gym with such a cheap membership scheme could afford the most expensive French soap for their showers!
-Breastfeeding the mobile phone
Secrecy is one of the biggest giveaways that someone is betraying you. There's nothing wrong with one's own privacy but excessive secrecy in a marriage is another thing altogether. Watch how someone's behaves with his or her mobile phone. Do they:
-keep it close to them at all times?
-take it in the bathroom with them?
-take it with them when they put the rubbish out?
-constantly look at their phone (a giveaway for text messages)?
-when you are close by and it rings do they start walking away out of earshot?
-leave it in the car or switched off and occasionally check for messages?
The key here is that when you have nothing to hide you hide nothing. When your partner is hiding something from you, you'll notice that the phone bill, bank statements and credit card statements conveniently end up at work, and in fact, nothing comes home at all. Recently one my investigators was clearing the company mail from the post office box and noticed a man also clearing his mail. When he opened his mobile phone account he tore up the list of calls made into very small pieces. He then threw these into the waste bin, wrote a cheque for the amount of the bill and dropped this in the mail. Think about it - when you have nothing to hide you hide nothing.
So when you ask to see these records, whether it's for phone or credit card, your requests can cause a huge problem. You may be told they've been thrown away or they'll be brought home but they never seem to materialise. Don't accept these excuses because records are kept for seven years and a simple phone call to the phone or credit card company will elicit them within a few days.
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