Beyond the Twelve Steps: Roadmap to a New Life - Softcover

Grabhorn, Lynn

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1571742670 ISBN 13: 9781571742674

Publisher: Hampton Roads Publishing, 2001

Synopsis

From a New York Times–bestselling author, a recovery book for twelve-steppers, or anyone interested in finding inner peace after overcoming addiction.

What will it take for us to stop living dreary lives? What will it take for us to fill the deep ache and longing we all have for that elusive "something more"? In a courageous departure from the traditional twelve step views of spirituality, Lynn takes our hungry souls on a life-changing journey to the kingdom within, laying out a path of startling new concepts to reconnect us with our own divinity.

For years, Lynn Grabhorn was a passionate student of thought and our divine relation to Self. Raised in Short Hills, New Jersey, she moved to California in 1963, the same year she joined A.A.

In her own words: "Our inner beings are crying out for us to remember who and what we really are, because the call is out-big time-for us to wake up. All it takes is a deep desire, and anyone can make this journey with ease."

"Grabhorn shows us how to access that inner source of energy to create the reality we want in our lives. This is a great book for those serious about their spiritual growth and ready for the next steps into mastery." —Convergence magazine

"Truly, this is an important new book which stands out from the plethora of recovery literature. Acknowledging the debt she owes to Alcoholics Anonymous, the author encourages the reader to move beyond self-imposed limitations." —Small Press magazine

About this title

About the Author

Lynn Grabhorn was a motivational speaker, real estate agent, and educational materials producer. Her main claim to fame was The New York Times bestseller, Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting. She died in 2004.

From the Inside Flap

For years, Lynn Grabhorn has been a passionate student of thought and our divine relation to Self. Raised in Short Hills, New Jersey, she moved to California in 1963, the same year she joined A.A. Still a westerner, Lynn continues to write, lecture, and give her unique seminars. In her own words:

“Our inner beings are crying out for us to remember who and what we really are because the call is out, big time, for us to wake up. All it takes is a deep desire, and anyone can make this journey with ease.”

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Beyond the Twelve Steps

roadmap to a new life

By lynn grabhorn

Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc.

Copyright © 1992 Lynn Grabhorn
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-57174-267-4

Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS, 
CHAPTER 1 THAT PRECIOUS REUNION, 
CHAPTER 2 THE BRIDGE TO MASTERY, 
CHAPTER 3 THE SUBCONSCIOUS: MASTER CONTROLLER, 
CHAPTER 4 OUR POWER WITHIN, 
CHAPTER 5 THOUGHT: OUR CONNECTION TO GOD, 
CHAPTER 6 YOUR INNER BEING, 
CHAPTER 7 THE EGO: MASTER OF COVER-UP, 
CHAPTER 8 BELIEF CREATES YOUR REALITY, 
CHAPTER 9 RESTRUCTURING THE PAST, 
CHAPTER 10 SCHOOLHOUSE EARTH, 
CHAPTER 11 THE POWER OF EMOTION, 
CHAPTER 12 CREATING MIRACLES, 
CHAPTER 13 LIVING YOUR TRUTH, 
EPILOGUE MY STORY, 
SUGGESTED READING, 
INDEX, 
AUTHOR CONTACT, 

CHAPTER 1

That Precious Reunion

You have some "time" on the Program. Or, as one might say in more casual circles,you've "been around" a while. You're at that stage where on one hand newcomers look upto you as someone who's "been there," and on the other, you feel you can finally hold yourown in a conversation with those blasted, beloved "old timers."

And what's the Program? Well, it could be any one of the dozens of Twelve-StepPrograms to which millions of us now attribute a better life, or even being alive. Or both.Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Al-Anon, Narcotics Anonymous, AdultChildren of Alcoholics, Alateen, Nicotine Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous, or You-Name-It-Anonymous;if you've ever sat through a bunch of meetings in some grungy churchbasement and heard, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followedthese steps ...," you're a Twelve-Stepper.

You feel fairly comfortable on the Program most of the time. Not great, really, but OK,except for that relentless gnawing. No matter; you have a moderately good relationshipwith your Higher Power, you speak at meetings off and on, and you probably still have oneor two "babies" or "pigeons," those newcomers who incessantly bug you on the other endof a phone.

Basically, you've got it together. You're sober, or clean, or in a process of releasing,slimming, whatever. You feel pretty good about your Program on the whole. You go to anacceptable number of meetings, take a good Tenth Step now and then, and may even optfor some occasional Twelfth-Step work when pressed. A model member. But this feelingthat there's something more just won't leave you alone. Ninety percent of the time you'renot even aware of it, but that other ten percent, what is it?

You go about your life pretty much by rote. You wake up in the morning not flying, but OK,and hit work with the same "hi" to the same boss every day. You dutifully reach for thatscrungy coffee cup with your name on it and begin your workday after the usualcomplaints about the coffee's quality. You listen to the same, unfunny jokes from thebunch, laugh at the appropriate spots (God forbid you shouldn't be one of the troops!), andmake the obligatory comments about Susie's new dress and how low it's cut.

Nothing changes, particularly you. There's no excitement, no newness. Maybe you shouldget more involved with the Program again, maybe get more newcomers to work with, orput in some hours down at Central Office. Maybe it's time for another inventory. Damn!What is it?

Then come the long walks. Are you really looking for something, or is it just spring fever inJanuary? A new church, or dance group, or study group, anything new to fill that void.

Perhaps you should share the feeling at a meeting? No, you guess not. How can you talkabout a feeling when you don't even know what the feeling is you're feeling?

So what is it? If you really tried, could you put your finger on it? Empty? Lonely? Or justbasically unjazzed? Of course, you don't want to look at it too closely because it might benothing more than midlife crisis or college doldrums.

Then again, maybe your situation isn't so subtle. Maybe you're one of the "Dear-God-howdid-I-ever-get-myself-into-this-mess-and-if-it-doesn't-change-soon-I'm-going-to-kill-myself"group. And you go to meetings, smiling your usual answer to the usual greetings, "Oh,fine, thanks. I'm just fine."

You keep stuffing the feelings as unrecognizable. After all, you're sober, or clean, orreleasing, or off cigarettes and card tables, aren't you? What else is important? Finally, inshoulder-shrugging resignation, you conclude it's probably nothing. After all, your life is adamn sight better than it was before the Program, and isn't that what it's all about?

No! That kind of thinking won't work any longer. Everything is not fine, not by a long shot.By capping your feelings, denying what the magnificent inner voice within you is trying toscream into your sleeping consciousness, you're simply stuffing them farther down tofester yet another day. No, this is definitely not what life is all about.

The Feeling of Aloneness

Most of us go through life not knowing what we want but being pretty darn sure this isn't it.So we walk around with that gnawing feeling of aloneness. Oh sure, we believe in aHigher Power—out there. We know it's always there, ready to interact with us the momentwe call to it. But the problem is we're forever removing ourselves from that consciouscontact and reverting right back to where we were—empty, separate.

Since we're certain it would be impossible to stay "plugged in" every second of every day,the Higher Power gets put on the back burner, ready for duty when called upon. We go onpicking up scraps of joy here and there in those rare and wonderful moments of carefreeliving, those moments of what? Ahh, those moments of not feeling alone!

That Magnificent Longing

How much of a surprise would it be to learn that the purpose of life was to live, to be reallyalive, to be filled with the adventure of all life, to be in absolute control of your own destiny,to be a joyous learner from life, loving every moment of the ride? Life was designed to bea platform for us to live our creativity, to live and express our individuality in colorful andchallenging ways simply because those things bring us joy.

For most of us, however, the purpose of life has been earning the dollar, finding the "right"relationship, getting the house, making it work. Little have we known that all those thingswe've been working at, and going through, are nothing more than roadmaps from the soul.

What do you think that longing is that's been pounding inside of you? It's the soul of yourBeing pleading with you to opt for something more vast, pleading with you to end thisexperiment in frozen living. "Wake up," it's saying. "You don't know who you are! Wake upand find out! I won't let up until you do! Wake up, damn it, wake up!"

A light goes on. Something in you knows what to do, where to look. You find new bookslike this one, new people, new groups. You feel as if a door has opened and fresh breezesare blowing through. You're beginning to feed that magnificent longing. New life is stirringin you, and your journey to a place inside we'll call "Home" has just begun.

You've been homesick for that Home, though you can't remember it. You can't rememberbecause it's too vast to fit into your present structure of thought. You've been wantingsomething, but you haven't known what. And if you're at all like me, there's been anincreasing urgency attached to that desire. And so here you are, about to begin this mostincredible of all journeys.

Take care. If you don't want your world rocked, your security shaken, or your tidy littlesandbox disturbed, you may not want to spend time in these pages. Some of the conceptsmay startle you, or even frighten you. But stay with it and give that longing a chance. Letyourself drink in answers to questions as old as time itself: who you are, what you are,why you are. This is not power of positive thinking, although that's involved. Nor is itcosmic razzle-dazzle. What's in this book is truth as I have learned it, truth that has totallychanged my life and the lives of thousands.

So let your journey begin! It's the reawakening of what you've always known but longforgotten. You pack your Twelve Steps and take them with you. You are on your roadHome, that warm place of remembrance that's been calling to you for so long, that placeinside holding total knowledge of who and what you are. It's your God within standing up,shaking itself off, and beginning to smile.

Freedom: The Inside Job

Imagine what it would be like to have no cares, no worries, no anxieties, but to just be inthe face of whatever's going on, to welcome the experience of pain, to acknowledge fear,and do all this within a world of ease and serenity, instead of raving panic.

Tough to imagine, isn't it? Right now you're probably quite right in thinking such a utopiacouldn't possibly exist. Yet once you come to accept one simple principle in your life, you'llsee how possible it is. That principle is simply to know, to know, you have choices. Andnot only do you have choices, but you have within you an energy center more powerfulthan ten thousand suns to make those choices happen.

There are two essential points to absorb before you can move on. If you feel resistance tothem, simply acknowledge that resistance and keep going, for these points set the stagefor an easier opening of the doors within which have been locked for so long. These twopoints are:

1. You will never know the elixir of the freedom of life that is your birthright as long as youare addicted to the idea that manipulating your universe from the outside will make youhappy.

2. Nothing, nothing, will change in your life until you absolutely know that you are worth morethan you are now getting.

Two toughies, no question about it. The first, because we've been taught to believe inoutside circumstances since babyhood; the second, because beliefs about our worth (orlack of it) are buried so deeply we have no idea they even exist.

Shiny New Tools

How often have you had a flash that this thing you see as you is a whole lot bigger thanone could perceive? We've all had those feelings but usually stuffed them, lest suchoutrageous thinking rock our already shaky boat.

The fact is, we are far more than we think we are, vaster, more magnificent, and morepowerful than the tiny, minute knowledge of ourselves can presently imagine. If you let it,that vastness will be your inner teacher, reaching out to you with golden keys of freedom.The secret in letting it happen lies in understanding the physics behind this vastness.That's right, physics! Energy! Force! Power!

You don't have to keep repeating the same, negative experiences over and over andwonder why. You don't have to repeat the same problems with lifemates, and jobs, andmoney, and wonder why. You don't have to, unless you want to. You have choices,wonderful, amazing choices.

Be open to the reality that you are not a mere, limited being of flesh and blood but rather acenter of energy filled with life and power, a vortex of such immense force that, onceharnessed, you are able to change your life in whatever manner you desire, whenever youdesire to do so.

From Chapter One To Chapter Two

Sometimes we take our Twelve Steps for granted; other times we're overwhelmed withgratitude for their simple power. Sometimes we work them; other times we ignore them.But at no time have we ever left them, no matter how often we may have slipped orstumbled. They are part of us forever, for nothing, but nothing, could ever replace thosemagnificent Twelve Steps.

The principles within these pages are not intended to replace anything. They are new.They go beyond. From Chapter One, now comes Chapter Two, so to speak. In ChapterOne, our Program, we established ourselves as functional members of society, no longerchained to the addictions of our existence. The more we got into the Twelve Steps and"practiced them in all our affairs," the more serenity inched into our lives, giving us thefreedom to reach for more. And now, we're ready for chapter Two.

Follow the Call

Home is that place inside where God is, that place inside we've longed for, but forgotten.Until we're at least open to believing this self we inhabit is only a fraction of what we reallyare, until we realize the sun and the ocean are as nothing beside us, and until we can giveup the idea that God is something separate from us, that longing inside will never leave,and we'll be going around in the same unfulfilled circles for the rest of our lives.

What we're going for here is simply a process of waking up. There are no rules, and thereis no rush. Everyone gets it when they get it. So, as you go through the coming pages, doso with a sense of allowing, without judgment. Be willing to entertain new beliefs, newinsights, new ways of thinking. The more open you are to these truths, the more rapidlyyour life will change, for the more rapidly you will change.

You'll be embarking on a journey as ancient and as natural as life itself, and one hundredpercent guaranteed. Whether you dive in with an insatiable hunger and go at breakneckspeed or lightly sample bits and pieces of the smorgasbord as it passes before you, you'llnever again be able to return to what you are now, nor will you want to.

With just a little willingness, you can leave your old ways, hurts, and struggles behind andopt for the life, love, and wisdom your soul so desperately yearns to experience. That's thelonging you feel, the yearning, the call for you to remember all of what you really are. Let itbe. Follow your yearning. All those defenses you've so carefully built are beginning toweaken, and the floodgates are pushing open with the strength of your desire to know.Coming forth is what you've been looking for all your life.

Roadmap to Where? Journey to What?

Alcoholic that I am, punch lines are dear to me. With the thought that you, too, may havethis same trait, I felt an overview of where this road is leading might be helpful.

While you'll find within these pages an easy-to-follow roadmap, you'll also run acrosssome subjects which are basically unprovable. For instance, no one to my knowledge hasyet been able to prove God. Nor has anyone been able to prove what's contained in thesubconscious, or that prayer is heard, or that every human being owns powers beyondimagination. That a great deal of evidential data exists on the qualities of thought and itselectromagnetic properties is about as close as I can come to offering any kind of proofthat some of the things we're going to be talking about are verifiable. For the most part,they're not.

However, most of us who are now thrilling to this new way of life don't even think aboutproof. The knowledge we're accumulating is resonating so deeply in our Beings, andcausing such dramatic changes in our lives, we just live it and want more!

What's written here is what I've learned, felt, experienced, witnessed, believed, andbecome since beginning this "wake-up" process. If it rings bells within you, you'll know it,for your whole Being will shout with joy to the heavens. If not, so be it. And if, down theroad, you're still wondering if there isn't something more, just come on back. It will neverbe too late to begin this journey to a new life.

Discovering the Something More

The trip starts for most of us with the same reasons you picked up this book ... wantingsomething more than just surviving. We gradually move into a new concept of ourselvesas spiritual beings and begin to get the first real inklings that the only force creating ourreality is us. That's shocking, maybe even frightening at first, but eventually we get used tothe idea.

Finally it sinks in; we can't separate ourselves from what we already are! We realize we'rejust as much a piece of God as a leaf is of its tree. Separation from our Source, the "God-there-Me-here"syndrome, is just not something we can live with any longer.

Before long, we come to see that the something more we seek is ourSelves (the capitol Skeynotes our divinity), Selves that are more than anything we could possibly imagine, orhave ever known. Bit by bit, we walk into a new and immensely loving relationship with theSource of our Being, God, All That Is, our Higher Power within and without.

You actually feel this union. Then it dawns on you; you're not taking this journey alone andnever have. The God of your being has walked with you, guided you, and loved youbeyond measure since time began and before.

We're learning that love is not something you do, but something you are, that it is our veryessence, our core. A major part of our journey is learning how to reach in, touch, andignite that precious inner core.

This journey beyond the Twelve Steps is bringing our union with God into fruition.

Just Chop Wood

There's an old Eastern parable that tells of the fellow, a woodcutter by trade, who becameenlightened after studying for years with masters of high spiritual learning. His friends,quite confounded by the devotion he displayed to his studies, asked of him what heintended to do after he became enlightened. With sensible logic he replied, "Chop wood;what else?"

The purpose of opening to this new life is not to build a holy temple in which to sit andcontemplate our navels forevermore but to live as we have never lived before. We findthat life is the grandest gift there is. Instead of trudging its road of happy destiny, we takeon life as the greatest lover we have ever had.

We're in partnership, in cocreation, with our Source, the All That Is, our Higher Power,God. It's an absolute, glorious partnership in which we learn to give up the priority of beingunhappy.

No longer beholden to our past, or to an uncertain future, we learn to get into the momentof now and stay there. A dearly loved member of my home group used to say, "If you keepone eye on yesterday, and one eye on tomorrow, you'll be cockeyed today." Great expressionand I loved it, but actually living it was quite another matter until beginning this newway of life. Learning to live in the now, we find the exquisite joy of simply chopping wood,no matter how tough the knots.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Beyond the Twelve Steps by lynn grabhorn. Copyright © 1992 Lynn Grabhorn. Excerpted by permission of Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Edition details

• Publisher: Hampton Roads Publishing
• Publication date: 2001
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1571742670
• ISBN 13: 9781571742674
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 240