My Lover, Myself: Self-Discovery Through Relationship

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9781573227872: My Lover, Myself: Self-Discovery Through Relationship
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Explains how friendship and romance hold the keys to achieving the maximum benefit from one's relationships, discussing three myths--the Personal Myth, Gender Myth, and Sexual Fantasy Myth--that can, if unexplored, control our lives. Reprint.

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About the Author:

David Kantor, Ph.D., is the founder and director of the Kantor Family Institute, a post-graduate training center in Boston. He serves as a consultant to other clinical facilities, to industry, and to university-based groups. He has taught at Harvard University and Harvard University Medical School, as well as Tufts University Medical School.

From Publishers Weekly:

Based on more than 30 years of treating couples through psychotherapy, Kantor, who has taught at Harvard University Medical School, believes that the underlying cause of dysfunctional relationships lies in crucial events in our life experience. In his view, we internalize these events by repeating to ourselves stories or myths of our experience. Using copious examples from his practice, Kantor identifies three myths crucial to the attainment of happiness and successful relationships. Strongest and most deeply hidden in our personality is the Personal Myth, the childhood tale of parental betrayal or disappointment that, as a grown-up, we seek to assuage in our search for a soul mate or perfect love partner. The Gender Myth is the story of our adult self, as we would wish to be, incorporating heroic attributes of people we have met or admire. Kantor deconstructs this heroic persona into three typesAthe Survivor, the Protector and the FixerAwith positive or "light" and negative or "shadow" attributes. The third myth, Sexual Fantasy, is the adult's story of sensual yearnings and lustful fantasies. According to Kantor, if love and sexuality are to be sustained, the partners must know their own and their partner's myths and shadows. In two appendices he offers couples advice on finding their own paths to healing. It seems unlikely, however, that without the presence of a skilled therapist, couples will successfully navigate Kantor's complex framework. Agent: Jill Kneerim at the Palmer and Dodge Agency; 20-city radio satellite tour.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Kantor, David
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