BAD KITTY IS BACK (AND BADDER THAN EVER!)
when she is forced to take a bath in this hysterical new illustrated how-to for young readers. The following are some items you will need for Kitty's bath: one bathtub, plenty of water, dry towels, a suit of armor, a letter to your loved ones, clean underwear (because stressful situations can cause "accidents"), an ambulance in your driveway with the engine running, and, oh, yeah, you'll also need Kitty...but good luck with that! Since its publication in 2005, BAD KITTY has captured the hearts of cat lovers and haters alike. This time Kitty is at her worst in this riotous how-to guide filled with bad smells, cautionary tales of horror, and hopefully by the end...some soap. The funniest of any of Kitty's adventures, though don't tell her that.
"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.
Nick Bruel is the author and illustrator of New York Times bestseller Boing! and the Bad Kitty books, among others. He is a freelance illustrator and cartoonist, and during his down time, he collects PEZ dispensers and grows tomatoes in the backyard. He lives in Tarrytown, NY with his wife Carina and their lovely cat Esmerelda.
· CHAPTER ONE ·
PREPARING
KITTY’S
BATHDo you remember the last time you tried to give Kitty a bath?BE PREPARED.
The first lesson that all cat owners must learn is that...
CATS
HATE
BATHS
For your own safety, please repeat this to yourself four thousand eight hundred ninety-three times.
It’s not that cats don’t like baths. It’s not that cats have a difficult relationship with baths. It’s not that cats chose not to vote for baths in the last election. It’s not that cats would rather choose vanilla over baths. It’s not that cats neglect to send baths a card on their birthdays. It’s not that cats pick baths last when choosing sides for a kick ball game. It’s not that cats think about baths in the same way a fire hydrant thinks about dogs. It’s not that cats look at baths in the same way that a vegetarian looks at ten pounds of raw liver. It’s not that cats once bought baths an awesome present that cost an entire month’s allowance, and then baths didn’t even have the decency to say “thank you.”
It’s simply that...Think about it this way...
Despite what most people say, cats don’t hate water. Fish live in water, and cats LOVE fish. So most cats don’t mind getting a little wet.
But cats do HATE baths. That’s because cats only like to get wet when they’re the ones in control, when they choose to get wet. If someone else has decided to make them wet, they HATE it.And if a cat has to get wet, the water had better be warm.
A cat’s fur is very good at keeping her warm, but not so good at keeping her dry. So if a cat gets wet in cold weather, that poor cat will have a hard time getting warm again. And that poor cat can catch a bad cold.
So, cats should always be bathed in warm (NOT HOT) water.Cats hate showers, too. And they rarely sing old show tunes.
Now that you understand that cats hate baths (you will be tested), you will find it much easier to prepare Kitty’s bath BEFORE putting her in it.
The following are some of the items you will need for Kitty’s bath:
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