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This allegory was inspired by Hannah Hurdard s book Hinds Feet on High Places. I was so inspired by the courage of her heroine, that I was moved to tears. I also identified with how long it took Much-Afraid to progress toward some mystical place where she could find peace. Little did she know that place was within. I have always loved to write, so naturally I decided to write about my own journey. Once I got started, it was hard to stop, and I think it only took about three hours to reach a place where Sorrow, transformed into Beloved, could rest and be at peace. I hope you enjoy my story. Its message is simple ... persevere!
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My first book, Addiction to Love, was a clinical analysis of love addiction. It looked at this painful disorder in all its many forms. It described the various symptoms of codependency, and it offered a step-by-step program of recovery.
After the book came out many people asked me to tell my own personal story about recovery from love addiction. I tried, but draft after draft went into the waste basket -- too narcissistic, too clinical, too superficial.
Finally, I came up with this book--a combination of excerpts from my journal, stories I have written, insights about my "disease," and lessons I have learned on the road to recovery. Picture a caterpillar reading a book to other caterpillars while slowly changing into a butterfly. That is the essence of this book.
The original title of this book was "From the Bondage of Sorrow, the Captives Dream Dreams." This title is very significant to me. My recovery has been a journey out of the bondage of sorrow and into the light. The bondage refers to addiction. The sorrow is depression. The light is self-awareness. And like all the other captives, I dreamed dreams. These dreams were my hope. They kept me alive. And many of them have come true.
This book is also about finding, to my surprise, that my recovery from my addiction is not just about getting the craving out of my system, but being free to go off in search of my true, authentic self who has been lost for many years. We lose ourselves for different reasons. Alice Miller, in Drama of the Gifted Child, says we sacrifice our real selves to please our mothers. Sometimes we lose ourselves to obligation. We go to work at a dead-end job to pay our bills. Women, before the feminist movement, were forced into domesticity to be accepted as "real women." Today, women chase after careers when they really want to be a housewife. How ironic is that? All of this was true for me. But for whatever reason our false self is born, addiction keeps us a slave to that lifestyle. We must be free of our bondage to people, places and things before we can venture out to find ourselves.
I mention this because one of the overriding themes of this book is looking for, and finding, our spiritual selves. But this is not the alpha and omega of it all. The journey is just as important as the goal. All the great sages say this. And it is on the journey to find a Higher Power that we find a very important lesser power--ourselves--lesser only by virtue of our relationship to God, not to mankind. We are each on equal footing with each other while we stand in God's light. But it is this light that reveals who we really are. And we will be so amazed. We only suspect who we really are. I set out to write a journal for my children and ended up a published author. J. B. Phillips says "Your God is Too Small." I say, "Your dreams are too small."
This is not to say that all our dreams come true. Many of mine have not but, but I am living happily ever after. It is important to understand that the journey to find ourselves, on the road to finding God, is not about all of our childhood dreams coming true, it is about finding the dreams that were hidden from us by low self esteem, fear, anger, depression--all the things that led to our addiction in the first place. Only God knows about these hidden dreams. This is why Christians surrender to Christ, and 12-Steppers turn their life and will over to the care of God (the third step). Only he knows what is best for us and we must find him to find our true destiny.
The final sub-text of this book is what Joseph Campbell calls "invisible" hands," which come to your aid when you are ready to change. My invisible hands came in various forms--willingness, intuition, books, teachers, therapy, dreams, support groups, and God--each and every one a miracle. And the help continues to come in a timely fashion, even unto this day. This book is the story of these miracles--of the grace that has touched my life--and what I did with that grace.
Susan Peabody is a writer, counselor, and educator. Her books include: Addiction to Love, The Art of Changing, and Recovery Workbook for Love Addicts and Love Avoidants. Susan has been helping people learn to love themselves and feel better about life for thirty years. For more of her writings see her website brightertomorrow.net
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Book Description The Bookpatch. PERFECT PAPERBACK. Condition: New. 1620304945 New Condition. Seller Inventory # KJJ-S97G-C287
Book Description The Bookpatch, 2013. Condition: New. Susan Peabody (illustrator). book. Seller Inventory # M1620304945