How to Raise a Jewish Dog

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9781780227368: How to Raise a Jewish Dog
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Questions to Ask a Breeder: 1. What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals ? does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound?
The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies. Written (for real) by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, co-authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl.

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About the Author:

Co-authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, Ellis Weiner has been an editor of National Lampoon, a columnist for Spy, and a contributor to many magazines, including The New Yorker, the New York Times Magazine, and Barbara Davilman is a writer for television and movies. Both live in Los Angeles.

Review:

Neither you nor your dog actually have to be Jewish to enjoy this ludicrous but extremely funny spoof pooch manual filled with dire jokes that would make even Woody Allen cringe. From how to find a vet who will be sufficiently responsive to your Jewish dog's high emotional neediness to buying it muffins at the airport to disguise the tranquilisers you're going to give it for travelling, it made me shake with laughter again and again; not to mention the cover. -- Katie Law EVENING STANDARD How to Raise a Jewish Dog is essentially one long joke: bit it's a very funny one! at only 162 pages it doesn't outstay its welcome. The prose is well-written with a great sense of comic timing, which is why it comes recommended. Just remember: if you read it on public transport you're likely to attract attention with your chuckling. ENTERTAINMENT FOCUS A dog is not just for Chanucah. So those of you who have recently acquired a pooch will be happy to know that this is now a training manual. -- Simon Rocker JEWISH CHRONICLE Neither you nor your dog actually have to be Jewish to enjoy this ludicrous but extremely funny spoof pooch manual filled with dire jokes that would make even Woody Allen cringe. From how to find a vet who will be sufficiently responsive to your Jewish dog's high emotional neediness to buying it muffins at the airport to disguise the tranquilisers you're going to give it for travelling, it made me shake with laughter again and again; not to mention the cover. -- Katie Law EVENING STANDARD How to Raise a Jewish Dog is essentially one long joke: bit it's a very funny one! at only 162 pages it doesn't outstay its welcome. The prose is well-written with a great sense of comic timing, which is why it comes recommended. Just remember: if you read it on public transport you're likely to attract attention with your chuckling. ENTERTAINMENT FOCUS A dog is not just for Chanucah. So those of you who have recently acquired a pooch will be happy to know that this is now a training manual. -- Simon Rocker JEWISH CHRONICLE

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Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary, Ellis Weiner, Barbara Davilman
Published by Orion Publishing Co, United Kingdom (2014)
ISBN 10: 1780227361 ISBN 13: 9781780227368
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Book Description Orion Publishing Co, United Kingdom, 2014. Paperback. Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book. You don t have to own a dog and you don t have to be Jewish. A humour title about using guilt, shame and passive aggression to raise your dog that will have you barking with laughter.A Not Missing Yet sign informs neighbours that dog is not missing. Some trainers call this precaution unnecessary. We say: It couldn t hurt.Finally! The dog training techniques and tips developed by the renowned Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary are available in book form. Look out, monks. Step aside, whisperer. Rabbi Monica and Rabbi Alan show, step by step, how you can use guilt, shame, passive aggression, sarcasm and Conditional Unconditional Love to create an unbreakable bond with your dog. It s all here, including:- The five ways of commanding Sit! ( What, would it kill you to sit down for one lousy second? )- A useful list of Advanced Commands ( Don t stare at Cousin Edith s hair when she comes over. )- How to use Situational Martyrdom when the dog disobeys ( Fine. Do what you want. I hope you have a nice life. )The rabbis have been training dogs - and their owners - for 20 years. Now they bring the fruits of their vast experience to dog owners everywhere. And the best part? You don t have to be Jewish to benefit from the programme. Just neurotic. Or crazy about your dog. Seller Inventory # AA29781780227368

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Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary, Ellis Weiner, Barbara Davilman
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Book Description Orion Publishing Co, United Kingdom, 2014. Paperback. Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book. You don t have to own a dog and you don t have to be Jewish. A humour title about using guilt, shame and passive aggression to raise your dog that will have you barking with laughter.A Not Missing Yet sign informs neighbours that dog is not missing. Some trainers call this precaution unnecessary. We say: It couldn t hurt.Finally! The dog training techniques and tips developed by the renowned Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary are available in book form. Look out, monks. Step aside, whisperer. Rabbi Monica and Rabbi Alan show, step by step, how you can use guilt, shame, passive aggression, sarcasm and Conditional Unconditional Love to create an unbreakable bond with your dog. It s all here, including:- The five ways of commanding Sit! ( What, would it kill you to sit down for one lousy second? )- A useful list of Advanced Commands ( Don t stare at Cousin Edith s hair when she comes over. )- How to use Situational Martyrdom when the dog disobeys ( Fine. Do what you want. I hope you have a nice life. )The rabbis have been training dogs - and their owners - for 20 years. Now they bring the fruits of their vast experience to dog owners everywhere. And the best part? You don t have to be Jewish to benefit from the programme. Just neurotic. Or crazy about your dog. Seller Inventory # AA29781780227368

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Book Description Orion Publishing Co. Condition: New. You don't have to own a dog and you don't have to be Jewish. A humour title about using guilt, shame and passive aggression to raise your dog that will have you barking with laughter. Num Pages: 176 pages. BIC Classification: WH; WNGD. Category: (G) General (US: Trade). Dimension: 199 x 134 x 13. Weight in Grams: 172. . 2014. Paperback. . . . . Books ship from the US and Ireland. Seller Inventory # V9781780227368

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Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary; Weiner, Ellis; Davilman, Barbara
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Book Description Orion Publishing Co, 2014. Condition: New. You don't have to own a dog and you don't have to be Jewish. A humour title about using guilt, shame and passive aggression to raise your dog that will have you barking with laughter. Num Pages: 176 pages. BIC Classification: WH; WNGD. Category: (G) General (US: Trade). Dimension: 199 x 134 x 13. Weight in Grams: 172. . 2014. Paperback. . . . . . Seller Inventory # V9781780227368

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