"Grief is the inevitable consequence of loving and will come to us all at some time in our life. It is a normal, natural response to a loss of any kind." – Pam Heaney
We experience grief and loss for many reasons: death, separation, divorce, job layoffs, illness and through many other major life changes. Pam Heaney’s thorough and perceptive exploration of grief is a book that will truly help us help others and ourselves.
Sensible, clear and caring in tone, the author explains how we express grief via our cultural and family conditioning, much of which is based on inadequate stereotypes and myths. In debunking the old clichés – ‘time heals all wounds,’ or ‘you should be over it by now’ – she offers insight into the true nature of grief and loss, and equips the reader with useful knowledge and understanding. She also provides strategies to help healing while recognizing the unique grieving experience of each individual.
Coming to Grief has a legitimacy and wisdom based on experience – the author has over 20 years background as a funeral director and grief counselor. She counters each time-honored myth with sound, practical advice and looks at why we grieve, what grief is and how it affects us. Physical, social, psychological, developmental and spiritual aspects are discussed in a positive way, and the whole is imbued with hope, encouragement and compassion.
This is a self-help book which includes: · A variety of exercises to make information personal · A helpful summary at the end of each chapter · The debunking of 10 common myths. "Best leave them alone to get over this," "You should be over it by now," "Just focus on the positives..." The author counters these clichés with practical, sensible advice · Covers loss in general – separation, divorce, death, loss of employment · A chapter on how to support and help those who are grieving – lists of what to say and do · Validation that everyone is unique as is their grieving · Acknowledgement that grief affects us physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually · Strategies for healing and acceptance · Anecdotes and real life stories; the author acknowledges the great variety of experiences · A recognition that recovery requires action
Pam Heaney says "I’ve written this book because I want you to come to know your own grief, what it is about and how to resolve it in a way that is appropriate for you. I want to offer something effective and honest. "Time will heal" is one of the many lies that keeps people trapped in their grief, sometimes for a life-time. I don’t want that to happen to you."
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Pam Heaney has over 20 years experience first working as a funeral director and then as a grief counselor. She has directed educational programs for healthcare professionals, volunteers, families and support groups; has organized therapeutic workshops; worked as a trauma debriefer; and lectures on the subject extensively throughout New Zealand. She was co-founder of the Grief Education Trust and contributed to the establishment of the National Association for Loss and Grief. Pam is self-employed as a grief and loss therapy and educational practitioner and her workshops, counseling, lectures and educational programs are in high demand.
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