Easy to read, easy to follow, and easy to understand, in this book the authors define and demystify the unique language of consensual sadomasochism, examine the psychological power of erotic dominance and submission, provide a carefully considered guide for safe SM play, and explain how SM can be an activity of intense intimacy and sophisticated erotic theater, as well as one of simple sexual pleasure. Combining their extensive professional credentials with deep personal experience, the result is an original introduction to a widely misunderstood realm of human sexuality.
"Henkin and Holiday have done erotic explorers a wonderful favor. Their useful book is concise and clearheaded in all things SM. But the most radical concept for many will surely be the notion to simply have fun." - Mark Thompson, editor of Leatherfolk
I've actually recomended this book more often than my own. That's because you're holding what is without doubt, one of the finest and most useful books on BDSM ever written. It can help you distinguish between looking and seeing. Not for skimmers........this one is soul food. - Guy Baldwin, M.S. author of TIES THAT BIND and SlaveCraft
Henkin and Holiday offer a very useful book about BDSM for mainly beginners in the scene but also for anyone who just like staying on top of opinions about BDSM. The book is well organized with a glossary right after a good discussion of special terms used in BDSM. Likewise sample negotiation forms are found at the end of the chapter where the procedure is explained. The largest section of the book concerns safety but not necessarily the kind you might find in "On the Safe Edge" or "Learning the Ropes". Here the focus is on learning about yourself first, learning about your partner second, and then how to explore BDSM. Throughout the idea that BDSM is primarily a pleasureable partnership is embraced and indeed in my personal experiences the best SM or Ds relationships are partnerships. Neither Henkin nor Holiday say that their way is the only way but they give solid reasons for their opinions and make suggestions based on years in the scene and as scholars and educators. This is definately a book I have proud to have in my library and one I recommend to people new to BDSM. - TammyJo Eckhart from kinkybooks.com
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Changes: An Introduction to the Second (Revised) Edition
In 1996, when Consensual Sadomasochism first appeared, participant literature about BDSM was still fairly rare. Yet the field was clearly growing, and partly for that reason we did not conceive of our contribution as an introductory text, but rather as something that could accompany or follow the various fine SM primers that had recently come on the market, including Race Bannon’s Learning the Ropes, Patrick Califia’s Sensuous Magic, and Jay Wiseman’s SM 101.
Revising our book at the sunrise of a new century, our purpose has not changed. But the SM community has changed remarkably since 1996, and so has its literature. It would take a volume beyond the scope of ours to document all those changes, but a few brief observations pertain to this book.
In 1996 San Francisco was still pretty much the red hot center of American SM, at least on the west coast, though not nearly to the extent it had been a decade and two decades earlier. But still there were just a handful of SM activities each month here – a few meetings, a few parties, classes that were beginning to burgeon. As we write now, on the cusp of 2003/4, you could attend a different SM event pretty much every night of the year in the San Francisco Bay Area and still not take in everything.
To keep our observations current, as well as our information, we’ve updated our glossary, tweaked many pages, revised our Resources section, and completely redone our information on Cyber SM. We’ve also added a few new sections for this edition, including some pages on "How to Find an SM-Positive (or Neutral) Therapist," "Monogamous SM Relationships," and "Aftercare."About the Author:
William A. Henkin, Ph.D., is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist, a Board Certified Sex Therapist, and a fellow of the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists. He conducts his private practice in San Francisco.
Sybil Holliday is a California Certified Safe Sex Educator, a professional dominant, and an image consultant for male to female transvestites. She conducts his private practice in San Francisco.
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