Items related to The Anomalies

Joey Goebel The Anomalies ISBN 13: 9781905847365

The Anomalies - Softcover

 
9781905847365: The Anomalies
View all copies of this ISBN edition:
 
 
Rare Book

"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

About the Author:
Joey Goebel was born and raised in Henderson, Kentucky. He has a BA in English from Brescia University and his short stories have appeared in two anthologies. He is the former lead singer of the punk band The Mullets (Higher Step Records) that toured for five years in the Midwest. The Anomalies is his first novel.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:
You were born a mistake into a middle-class family that thought they were a high-class family. Your life was fine until your asshole parents divorced. Before that it was bike rides, baseball, swimming, and Nintendo. But after the divorce, your Nike Airs walked astray. You blamed yourself at first for your parents’ split, but then you learned to blame them instead, whom you would blame everything on forevermore. As a teenager, you felt your problems at home licensed you to rebel. You partied hard and lived for the weekends. You felt obligated to lose your virginity and you did as soon as someone would help you to do so. You did just well enough in school to get by, saying that you were smart but just didn’t apply yourself. You left home as soon as possible to go to college. You joined a frat. You let females control your destiny. You accidentally got a girl pregnant and felt obligated to marry her. You wanted a boy. You got a job that you hate but it pays the bills as you like to say. Your wife appears not as pretty as she was when you impregnated her, and your eyes are starting to wander. You and your wife consider yourselves better than your neighbors. You are depressed. You smoke weed to help you not be. You work out. You go to a tanning bed. You worry about your hair.

After a lengthy pause, alpha-male says, "Shut up. You don’t know me...I’m not depressed."

You will be. It is bound to happen sometime between your divorce from your cheating wife and when your kids put you in a nursing home.

"That’s it, man. Are you done, or am I gonna have to kick your ass?"

I throw one more card on the table, the one that says "EMPTY THREAT OF VIOLENCE—A FINAL RESORT." My cards never fail. I’ve got everything from "TOO MUCH INFORMATION" to "I NEED CLOSURE" to "I ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND" to "BAD HAIR DAY?"

I am done. I am sorry for confronting you like I have in front of your peers, some of whom are secretly gay.

At this, the asshole’s friends look at each other nervously.

I know how much respect means to you, and I respectfully ask that you refrain from mistreating my friends and me.

"Whatever, dude."

I return to my table. I don’t like doing things like I just did, but the humanoids make it so easy for me, and the fact that they make it so easy for me is why I do it in the first place. I can predict the prettyboy just like I can predict that the guy wearing a bow-tie will be a smart-ass, that the traveling children’s storyteller will be annoyingly eccentric, that the English teacher will love Garrison Keillor, that the bartender will be exceedingly confident.

"Why do you always have to make a scene like that?" asks Aurora.

You were the one complaining about them staring at us. Are they staring at us now?

The man’s friends are comforting him, patting him on the shoulder.

Then a contagiously funky reggae song comes on. My dining companions and I spontaneously arise and dance in the middle of the restaurant, except for Aurora who just rolls back and forth. We dance like protozoa, squirming unattached, our bodies moving like they don’t even know it. Music, music. Muse, sick muse. The sick muse we will follow to a timeshare on the moon.

I approach my victim, the professional humanoid.

Come on, dude! No hard feelings, right!? Would you like to dance?

"Oh, shut the fuck up."

I smile, laugh, and proceed with the dancing. I dance as hard as I can since I know that any moment now, someone will tell us to stop and sit down, or more specifically, someone will tell us, "I’m going to have to ask you to stop and sit down."

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

  • PublisherOld Street
  • Publication date2008
  • ISBN 10 190584736X
  • ISBN 13 9781905847365
  • BindingPaperback
  • Number of pages224
  • Rating
Buy Used
Condition: Very Good
The book has been read, but is... Learn more about this copy

Shipping: US$ 6.06
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.

Destination, rates & speeds

Add to Basket

Other Popular Editions of the Same Title

9781931561846: The Anomalies

Featured Edition

ISBN 10:  ISBN 13:  9781931561846
Publisher: MacAdam/Cage, 2004
Softcover

  • 9781931561297: The Anomalies

    MacAda..., 2003
    Hardcover

  • 9782264066541: The anomalies

    Softcover

Top Search Results from the AbeBooks Marketplace

Stock Image

Joey Goebel
Published by Old Street (2008)
ISBN 10: 190584736X ISBN 13: 9781905847365
Used Paperback Quantity: 1
Seller:
WorldofBooks
(Goring-By-Sea, WS, United Kingdom)

Book Description Paperback. Condition: Very Good. The book has been read, but is in excellent condition. Pages are intact and not marred by notes or highlighting. The spine remains undamaged. Seller Inventory # GOR001783196

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy Used
US$ 1.00
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 6.06
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds
Stock Image

Joey Goebel
Published by - (2008)
ISBN 10: 190584736X ISBN 13: 9781905847365
Used Paperback Quantity: 1
Seller:
AwesomeBooks
(Wallingford, United Kingdom)

Book Description Paperback. Condition: Very Good. The Anomalies This book is in very good condition and will be shipped within 24 hours of ordering. The cover may have some limited signs of wear but the pages are clean, intact and the spine remains undamaged. This book has clearly been well maintained and looked after thus far. Money back guarantee if you are not satisfied. See all our books here, order more than 1 book and get discounted shipping. Seller Inventory # 7719-9781905847365

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy Used
US$ 3.66
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 5.67
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds
Stock Image

Joey Goebel
Published by - - (2008)
ISBN 10: 190584736X ISBN 13: 9781905847365
Used Paperback Quantity: 1
Seller:
Bahamut Media
(Reading, United Kingdom)

Book Description Paperback. Condition: Very Good. This book is in very good condition and will be shipped within 24 hours of ordering. The cover may have some limited signs of wear but the pages are clean, intact and the spine remains undamaged. This book has clearly been well maintained and looked after thus far. Money back guarantee if you are not satisfied. See all our books here, order more than 1 book and get discounted shipping. Seller Inventory # 6545-9781905847365

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy Used
US$ 3.66
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 8.81
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds
Stock Image

Joey Goebel
Published by Old Street (2008)
ISBN 10: 190584736X ISBN 13: 9781905847365
Used Softcover Quantity: 1
Seller:
GF Books, Inc.
(Hawthorne, CA, U.S.A.)

Book Description Condition: Very Good. Book is in Used-VeryGood condition. Pages and cover are clean and intact. Used items may not include supplementary materials such as CDs or access codes. May show signs of minor shelf wear and contain very limited notes and highlighting. Seller Inventory # 190584736X-2-3

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy Used
US$ 16.92
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds
Stock Image

Joey Goebel
Published by Old Street (2008)
ISBN 10: 190584736X ISBN 13: 9781905847365
Used Paperback Quantity: 1
Seller:
Greener Books
(London, United Kingdom)

Book Description Paperback. Condition: Used; Good. **SHIPPED FROM UK** We believe you will be completely satisfied with our quick and reliable service. All orders are dispatched as swiftly as possible! Buy with confidence! Greener Books. Seller Inventory # mon0001025533

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy Used
US$ 4.35
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 12.60
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds
Stock Image

Joey Goebel
Published by Old Street (2008)
ISBN 10: 190584736X ISBN 13: 9781905847365
Used Softcover Quantity: 2
Seller:
medimops
(Berlin, Germany)

Book Description Befriedigend/Good: Durchschnittlich erhaltenes Buch bzw. Schutzumschlag mit Gebrauchsspuren, aber vollständigen Seiten. / Describes the average WORN book or dust jacket that has all the pages present. Seller Inventory # M0190584736X-G

More information about this seller | Contact seller

Buy Used
US$ 9.16
Convert currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 9.73
From Germany to U.S.A.
Destination, rates & speeds