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And the hits just keep on coming. Sylvester Stallone, who can't seem to draw flies unless he's playing Rocky Balboa or John Rambo, went back to the Rambo well (or septic system, as it were) to show his well-known solidarity with the Afghan freedom fighters who battled the Soviet army in the 1980s. This time it's personal: his handler, Richard Crenna, is captured by the Evil Empire and so it's up to Rambo to leave his work in a monastery in Southeast Asia (oh, puh-leeze) in order to rescue him from the Ruskies. Ever wonder why the Russians had such a miserable time in Afghanistan? It was because Rambo took them on single-handed and kicked their hammer-and-sickle heinies all the way back to Moscow. Cartoonish action, taken ever so seriously by Stallone, who was working desperately to scrape away the unsightly wax buildup from his reputation. --Marshall Fine
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