CHAPTER 1
Release Your Past
Release your past. So often, and in so many ways, the past hindersus. We don't attempt certain things because they did not work inthe past. We mentally limit ourselves because we struggled withsomething in the past and now assume it will be that way if we try itagain. We give ourselves and other people very disempowering labelsbecause of past experiences and interactions. Our old ways of beingare so ingrained in us that we don't even realize they are runningour lives in most cases.
An example of this dynamic could be a time when you were in arelationship and someone mistreated you, and you still carry aroundthe anger and hurt from that incident. Another example couldpossibly be when there was a period in your life when financiallyyou just couldn't seem to manage all of your bills and expenses, andyou created a conclusion in your mind that you were just not goodwith money. These types of incidents cripple you because you havemade up stories about what they mean to the point that you areparalyzed with fear and feelings of unworthiness.
What if you didn't have a past? What if you could actuallyrelease from your mind any old, conditioned ways of thinking thatprevent you from realizing your highest self? Tony Robbins said,"The past does not equal the future unless you live there." Imagineif you could free yourself from this trap forever. What would yourlife be like then? The possibilities would be limitless. In essence, itwould be like driving your car and taking the emergency brake off.You would be able to move much faster, easier, and smoother on yourjourney toward realizing any of your intentions. Simply put, yourlife would be much better.
Action Steps for Releasing Your Past
1. Approach today with a totally fresh, new attitude.Imagine that you are writing a movie and you are thestar. Answer the following questions: What qualitieswould you have? How would you walk and talk? Howwould you handle challenges?
2. What ideal characteristics would you embody? Whenyou are clear about them, play the role.
3. As you go through your day, whenever you noticeyourself saying "I can't do that" or "I tried that before"or "I know how this person is going to react," just sayto yourself, "Oh, that's the past," and get back into yournew character. This may be somewhat challenging, butexperiment and have fun with it. When you do thisenough, you will notice that the old patterns have nomore control over you, and it is easier for you to livepowerfully.
CHAPTER 2
Responsibility
Responsibility. Your life is where it is because of the choices you havemade. This is not a cause to blame yourself for all that is missingbut, rather, an opportunity to understand just how much controlyou have. There is so much influence that you possess in creatingyour destiny. "Every action creates a reaction." When you take fullresponsibility for what shows up in your life, you are empowered.You are no longer just experiencing circumstances but are insteadharnessing your power. By assuming full responsibility for whatshows up in your world, you are much more conscious of yourthoughts, words, and actions. As a result you will have a great dealmore influence over your outcomes.
When you take on this mind-set, there is no room to playthe role of the victim. Owning your part in creating your realityis the first step to finding the adjustments that need to be made.Otherwise, you will always think that your success lies outside ofyourself. This mind-set is problematic because it totally gives awayyour power. This is a victim's way of thinking because you no longerhave any control over what happens to you. When you have nocontrol, you are a victim of circumstance. You must understand thatyou already have everything you need inside of you to realize thedreams you envision.
In order to be successful in anything, you must constantly bemaking adjustments. Quite often these adjustments are mental andemotional as well as physical. As Tony Robbins said, "You eitherneed to change your process, your procedure, or both." Regardlessof the kind of adjustment, once it is made, your results will vary.You will then need to make adjustments again based on those newresults. This process continues over and over again until you achieveyour desired outcome. However, you can never get to this place untilyou acknowledge how your way of being has gotten you to whereyou are now. Successful people fully own their role in creating theirlives. This is not always a fun thing to do, and it is definitely not theway we are conditioned to think. Yet it is by far the most rewardingway to live because it enables you to embrace your power and designyour life. Of course there are some situations which will be beyondyour control, but in most cases you have a great deal of input if youjust look to see how you can create your circumstances.
Action Steps for Responsibility
1. Practice taking full responsibility for every area of yourlife.
2. With each challenging situation that occurs, ask yourself,"How did I create this in my life?" Was it your thoughts,feelings, actions, or all of the above?
3. Then ask yourself, "What do I want, and how can Iuse my present circumstances to help me realize myintention?"
CHAPTER 3
The Power of Influence
The power of influence is a great gift. It means you have the abilityto affect your surroundings and the people in your environment.There are a number of things you can do to deepen your connectionto others and increase your influence. Yet there are three mainprinciples to practice in order to have powerful influence. First, bearin mind that whatever state you are in mentally and emotionally rubsoff on others. It has often been said that "enthusiasm is contagious."The same is true of anger. Emotions are simply a form of energy,and energy affects everyone whether it is high or low. If you wantto have a positive effect on someone, be in a positive state. The meretransference of energy will lift their spirits and have them be moreopen to you. This is especially important to be aware of if you are innegotiations of any kind.
Second, engage in the practice of mirroring. When you mirrorsomeone's body language, gestures, and even speech patterns, theywill naturally feel more connected to you even if they don't knowwhy. Mirroring naturally strengthens your rapport with people.You do not have to mirror them exactly, or even for a long time.However, if you do it enough, and you do it from the beginning ofthe interaction, then when you return back to your normal rhythm,they will most likely follow your lead because they will feel thatyou are like them and they will want to stay connected to you. Thismirroring technique is called pacing.
Third, if you want to influence someone, be a true friend tothem. Take a sincere interest in what they find important. Reallylisten to what they have to say. Establish a rapport with the personbefore you need something from them. This lets them know thatyou are not trying to use them and conveys the message that yougenuinely care about them.
If you practice these three principles, you will notice yourconnections to people deepening and your personal influencestrengthening. Remember, success in any field requires the assistanceof others, so expand your field of influence starting now.
Action Steps for ExperiencingYour Power of Influence
1. Practice generating enthusiasm when you speak to othersand make sure to be in a peak state before importantinteractions.
2. Practice pacing as you mirror the people you arecommunicating with so that your voice and gesturesenable you to create a deeper connection with them.
3. Be a true friend first. Listen to the needs of the person,and be specific with how what you are involved inapplies to them.
CHAPTER 4
Gratitude
Gratitude. Most of us have less of it than we realize. The vast majorityof people spend more time focusing on the negative and what iswrong with their lives than all that is right. There is a saying thatgoes "Enlightened people give thanks for what normal people takefor granted." We have so much to be thankful for. There is so muchmore going right in your life than there is going wrong in most cases.True wealth has to include gratitude. If a person has a lot of materialwealth but no gratitude then they are emotionally poor. Therefore,in order to have both, you must develop an attitude of gratitude. Themore you appreciate your blessings, the more you enjoy your life. Thedictionary definition of appreciation is "to increase the value of." Inother words you elevate the value of anything that you are gratefulfor simply by appreciating it. Also, the more you are grateful, themore the universe brings prosperity your way.
When you are in a state of gratitude, your mind is contemplatingall the abundance that exists in your life. As this happens, youbecome a magnet for more abundance. This is how the universallaw of attraction plays out. Put another way, "what you think aboutexpands," "like attracts like," "water seeks its own level." The bottomline is the more you can generate this feeling, the happier you will beand the more you will find new blessings popping up in your life.
Action Steps For Experiencing Gratitude
1. As you start your day, think about at least ten thingsthat you totally appreciate in your world. It could besomething as simple as your ability to walk or see, butwhatever it is, acknowledge it, and then give thanksfor its existence. If you want to deepen this experience,just think of how you would feel if these things thatyou appreciate no longer existed in your life. This willenhance your mood and help to start your day off onthe right foot.
2. As you proceed through your day, give thanks for eachoccurrence, no matter what it is. Create the habit ofsaying "that's great" with each incident and search forthe reasons why.
3. Before you go to bed write down and give thanks foreach new blessing that you experienced in your life thatday, no matter what form it took. These blessings maycome in the form of material gifts, quality time withpeople, personal accomplishments, or any other kindsof successes from that particular day.
4. Pay close attention to how this attitude of gratitude shiftsyour mental state by making you happier, positivelyimpacts your day by making you more effective, givesyou more energy, and attracts even more abundance andblessings to be grateful for.
CHAPTER 5
Leadership
Leadership. In order to get into the top 10 percent in your field, youhave to become a leader. Leaders have very specific characteristics thatset them apart. These qualities are traits that all people can developin themselves. These traits are not necessarily easy to acquire, butthrough steady application they can and will become traits that youlive by. The first trait is that leaders have a vision. They truly practicelong-term perspective, and they think from the end. Their decisionsare based on what is the next best anticipated step to progress themin the direction of that long-term vision. They are able to avoidmany of the ineffective mistakes most people make, because they arealways taking planned action based on the big picture. The secondtrait of leaders is that they take full ownership of doing whatever ittakes to realize that vision. They act from a place of "If it is to be,then it is up to me." This doesn't mean that they don't delegate oruse leverage to obtain a goal, but they take full responsibility forachieving the desired end result. Third, the leader is a living exampleof how to be in your power while moving on purpose. The leaderis enthusiastic. The leader has integrity. The leader is willing toadmit mistakes and to make the corrections as quickly as possible.Leaders govern themselves as if someone were watching their everymove, even when no one is. Leaders have the mind-set of whatever ittakes, and they back that mentality up with massive action. Leadersconstantly build up their teams with love and respect. Leaders havehigher standards for themselves than anyone else would ever havefor them. Leaders constantly look at how they need to grow in orderto lead more effectively to realize the vision. The leader seeks to seethe situation from the other person's point of view. In short, as BrianTracy said, the leader asks questions like "What kind of group wouldthis be if everyone in it were just like me?"
The thing to remember is that you are a natural-born leader.You would not even be reading this book if you weren't. If you canjust work a little bit each day to get a little bit stronger with thesetraits, then over a year's time you will become infinitely greater as aleader. Little by little, these improvements will add up to tremendousgrowth. It will not always be easy; in fact, at times it will be thehardest thing you could ever do, but you will have a great sense ofself, purpose, and accomplishment that no one could ever take awayfrom you.
Action Steps for Becoming A Leader
1. Choose to be a leader in your life and always act fromyour vision with the end result in mind.
2. Take full ownership of your vision by realizing thatultimately you are the one responsible for the successof the project.
3. Be a living example of how to conduct yourself for yourpeople by demonstrating the enthusiasm, focus, love,action, and support you want them to display.
CHAPTER 6
Forgive
Forgive. A very powerful action, yet putting it into play can posequite a challenge. We find it is so easy to hold on to grudges, anger,or any type of unpleasant circumstances that we have been through.Any kind of resentment that you have needs to be released. This ismore for your sake than anyone else's. Your judgments about the wayyou think things should be and how people should act prevent youfrom being emotionally centered.
The feelings that you hold against yourself or anyone else preventyou from experiencing love and peace in your life. This makes itimpossible for you to be free emotionally. Anger is simply stuckenergy that has not been released for whatever reason. It is importantto understand that holding on to anger is one of the most detrimentalthings you could do. Clinging to this energy is devastating for yourhealth and wealth. Remember that like attracts like, so anger attractsmore negativity into your circle. Anger will actually repel prosperityand wellness and attract even more anger and illness into your life.There is a saying that goes "holding on to anger is like taking a drinkof poison and expecting someone else to die from it." This is not tosuggest that you will never experience upsets. However, the quickeryou let them go, the sooner you will welcome abundance into yourlife on every level. Carry the loving power of forgiveness with youtoday and notice how you begin to feel lighter and more at ease.
Action Steps for Forgiveness
1. Forgive yourself and others for all transgressions orunpleasant experiences. This does not mean that youaccept all of people's behaviors, but you forgive themfor their mistakes and love the God force that exists inthem and in all of us, even if some of that force is beingblocked at the time.
2. Write out and journal any hurt feelings you may still becarrying. Allow those feelings to come up. If you stillare feeling anger you can visualize the other person'sperspective and imagine them apologizing to you forthe incident. Then gently affirm that you are lettingthe anger and hurt go. Repeat this process any time thefeelings resurface.
3. Do something special to love yourself. Then send loveto yourself and the other people you have the feelingstoward. Visualize yourself and them doing well in everyway.
CHAPTER 7
Guilt
Guilt. Everybody feels this emotion at one point or another. However,some of us feel it more frequently. It usually creeps up when youare disappointed about something you have not accomplished. Onoccasion, guilt will also show up when you feel that you have violatedone of your values in some way. It is very important for your well-beingnot to dwell on this emotion. When you do, you are usuallyblaming someone, even if that someone is yourself. You have thesefeelings when you think there is something you should have done,and then you "should all over yourself." There is a zen proverb thatsays "should is a stick that we use to beat ourselves with." Blame isalways counterproductive. It is a tremendous waste of mental andspiritual energy, and it robs you of the moment.
Everything happens just the way it is supposed to. There areno accidents. However, if you are looking to realize your goals, youmust make sure that you extract the lessons that you are supposedto gain from each occurrence or else similar situations will arisewith greater impact. The reason for this is because the universe istrying to support your growth so that you can experience moreabundance. However, if you are not getting the important lessonthen the universe must create an even stronger situation so that youcan fully receive the teaching. Therefore, it is imperative to be fullypresent to the guidance you are receiving from the experience. Whenyou find that you're feeling guilty about something, alert yourself sothat you are not dwelling on the past.
