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Change Your Conversation, Change Your Life

Dowsett, Malinda, Barna, Lani

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ISBN 10: 0578086840 / ISBN 13: 9780578086842
Published by Change Your Conversation Publications, 2011
Used Condition: Very Good
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Bibliographic Details

Title: Change Your Conversation, Change Your Life

Publisher: Change Your Conversation Publications

Publication Date: 2011

Book Condition:Very Good

About this title


Many of us struggle with the feeling that our lives are stuck in a rut - that we encounter the same types of challenges and problems again and again. We want to be more, do more, achieve more...but how? In Change Your Conversation, Change Your Life, Malinda Dowsett and Lani Barna present simple, clear action steps to manifest the life you dream of - starting with showing you why it's important and powerful to start with a dream! Consistently compassionate yet clear-sighted and honest, the authors show you how to make change a reality, by changing your conversation both internally and outwardly. Using real-life case studies as well as their own experience and their knowledge of spiritual traditions and quantum physics, Lani and Malinda give you the tools to accomplish your goals, move to your next level, and become more of who you really are.

From the Author:

Malinda's story. "After being married for six years, separated for a year and then losing my husband to suicide in 2005, my life was in complete shambles. On the outside everybody thought I was doing pretty well until I decided to remarry a year later out of complete fear. At that point in my life I had never been so scared. I was raising two children on my own, running my own business and totally separated from myself.  All my life I thought I was supposed to be married, work hard, be a good mom, a loving person and the rest would come out in the wash. When my husband died I wasn't sure what direction I was moving in. I felt lost and completely alone.  
"My conversations with myself were ones of despair, guilt, depression, and anger. I didn't think I had it in me to stand on my own two feet - as a matter of fact I didn't want to stand on my own two feet. Deep down I didn't think I was capable of taking care of myself much less my children. I woke up every morning wanting someone to just take it all away. I didn't have the strength to deal with the enormous pain I was carrying around. I thought if I just kept going, all of it would eventually go away.
"Two years into my second marriage, I had totally isolated myself from all of my family and friends. I was emotionally and mentally at absolute rock bottom. My second marriage was incredibly unhealthy, every thought I had beat me up, tore me down and leaving me feeling angry, depressed, anxious, guilty, and with no self-worth. Through it all, I denied, ignored and dismissed the fundamental emotional patterns that were driving my life and my life reflected this pain back to me.  I knew I was destined to repeat the same pattern if something didn't change. It was like waking up each day and  rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic knowing that the end result would keep repeating itself as a complete disaster. Unless I wanted more of the same, I was going to have change from the inside out but where to begin? Then one day I received an e-mail from an old friend, Lani Barna.
"Lani and I had not spoken in two years and her e-mail was a wake-up call. We very quickly picked up right where we had left off spending long hours on the phone talking about what had come our way and where we were in our respective lives. Our conversations had always been on a more spiritual side, and during the time that we had lost contact with each other, Lani had begun a journey on her own, studying the non-physical side of herself, her thoughts and how to control them. Through her studies and research she had become quite advanced in her thinking and in our conversations she began sharing her new-found knowledge with me.
"On a personal level during the same period of time she was struggling with her own life. She was fighting her own battles following a near death experience in a car accident, divorce and an terminally ill mother. She ended a career in corporate America, leaving a well paying job and the prestige of an important sounding title, in order to move her mother into her home and care for her during her remaining days.
"Living quietly with her mother, Lani used that time to rediscover who she was and reconnect with the side of herself she had lost bit by bit over the years. When she wasn't caring for her Mother, she studied everything she could about being human and what this thing we call "reality" really is. She studied quantum physics, neurobiology and consciousness. She searched the internet, subscribed to cutting edge newsletters and read book after book.  Without the noise and distraction of a daily commute and endless meetings, Lani found - and began to feel - the energy side of herself again. She felt as if she was meeting herself again for the first time. She discovered that her shift in perspective provided her with an incredible opportunity to learn, grow, and finally take control of her life.
"In all of life we discovered the need to stop asking ourselves the question, "Why is this happening to me?" and start asking ourselves the question, "Why is this happening for me?" There is a cosmic difference in these two questions. The first one leads us down the path of victimhood, martyrdom, or feeling that there is something wrong with us. The second one takes us down a path towards deeper growth, spiritual awareness and healing.
"Our experiential knowing of this fundamental truth quickly changed our conversations from ones full of negativity and "what is"  to the spiritual journey of personal growth we were both embarking on. We began helping each other move past what we had created in our lives that no longer felt good - inside or out - by slowly letting go of false expectations of ourselves and others and coming to terms with the personal responsibility and accountability for all that we had, and continue, to create.
"As Lani and I peeled back the layers of our lives we discovered that there were four principles involved in the process of creating every experience: thoughts, feelings, inner guidance and choice. We stepped back and looked at every experience that no longer served us. One by one we resolved each through forgiveness and a sense of profound gratitude. Rather than pushing others to change their ways to make us happy, we let go of judging and saw every experience as a gift to more completely discover who we are and what character we are made of. Are we courageous? Are we kind? We saw every difficult person as a way to more clearly express our core beliefs. Is this really what I believe a marriage should feel like? Is this really the relationship I want with my kids? We used every mistake to help us become more clear about our purpose and how the law-of-attraction works in our lives. Is this really who I think I am? Is this really what I want to be? We realized that every conversation we have with ourselves and others either builds us up or tears us down. We learned that when we get to the place where we become aware of how each thought makes us feel, we can always choose a better- feeling thought by getting quiet, becoming clear and using contrast as a way to determine, once again, what we really want.
"As soon as I started applying these four principles of thoughts, feelings, inner guidance and choice to the big things in my life I started seeing more and more opportunity to move my life in the direction that I really wanted to go. I started to feel like I was gaining back control of my life. I started to feel a little more like me. Everyday I started finding my strengths again. I began building myself back from the ground up again.  My life began to turn around.
"I separated from my second husband shortly thereafter, and with new eyes and an open mind, am now living on my own. I purposefully and intentionally create the loving home I always wanted for myself and my children. I have become incredibly quiet after letting go of all the drama and breaking through all the major issues in my life. I have found enormous strength and gratitude from every life experience that caused me pain. Releasing beliefs and ideas that no longer served me opened up a huge amount of space in my life for the things I truly believe in and desire. I am no longer in limbo. I am living my dream.
"After a year of helping each other turn our lives around, we knew that we wanted to share this information with others. We wanted to help anyone and everyone understand that our mind is meant to serve us, not control us. We wanted to demonstrate how easy life can be if we would but relax and get to know ourselves. Life is supposed to be abundant, fun, exciting, adventurous, expanding, and ever-evolving. This was knowledge worth sharing. This was information we knew would help others understand that they do not have to suffer unnecessarily any more.  Change Your Conversation was born.

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