When Elves Attack

Dorsey, Tim

Published by Audiogo
ISBN 10: 0792781678 / ISBN 13: 9780792781677
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Synopsis:

?The undisputed king of the comic crime novel.?
?Providence Journal

Nobody does Florida weirdness quite like Tim Dorsey! Case in point: When Elves Attack, the New York Times bestselling author?s twisted Christmas present to his legion of adoring fans who can?t get enough of thrill-killer and Sunshine State historian Serge A. Storms, the most endearing psychopath since Dexter. Dorsey offers the perfect antidote for all those sappy feel-good holiday stories with this zany blockbuster extravaganza in which his wonderfully deranged serial killer Floridaphile delivers his special brand of Christmas cheer. More outrageous than Santa Claus in a Speedo, When Elves Attack serves up a Yuletide feast of the ?pure gonzo humor? the New York Times Book Review enthusiastically attributes to this fearlessly funny writer. Think Bad Santa and National Lampoon?s Family Vacation, blend in Dorsey?s trademark appetite for destruction, and you?ve got hilarious crime fiction black comedy that anyone would be thrilled to discover stuffed in their Christmas stocking.

Review:
Amazon Exclusive: A Letter from Serge A. Storms

Dear Friends and Enemies,

Season?s Greetings! It?s me, Serge! Don?t you just hate these form letters people stuff in Christmas cards? Nothing screams ?you?re close to my heart? like a once-a-year Xerox. Plus, all the lame jazz that?s going on in their lives. ?Had a great time in Memphis.? ?Bobby lost his retainer down a storm drain.? ?I think the neighbors are dealing drugs.? But this letter is different. You are special to me. I?m just forced to use a copy machine and gloves because of advancements in forensics. I love those TV shows!

Has a whole year already flown by? Much to report! Let?s get to it!

Number One: I ended a war.

You guessed correct, the War on saying ?Merry Christmas!? instead of ?Happy Holidays!? When I first heard about it, I said to Coleman, ?That?s just not right! We must enlist!? I rushed to the front lines, running downtown yelling ?Merry Christmas? at everyone I saw. And they?re all saying ?Merry Christmas? back. Hmmm. That?s odd: Nobody?s stopping us from saying ?Merry Christmas.? Then I did some research, and it turns out the real war is against people saying, ?Happy Holidays.? The nerve: trying to be inclusive. So, everyone ... Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Good times! Soul Train! Purple mountain majesties! The Pompatus of Love!

There. War over. And just before it became a quagmire.

Next: Decline of Florida Roundup.

They tore down the Big Bamboo Lounge near Orlando. Where was everybody on that one?

Remember the old ?Big Daddy?s? lounges around Florida with the logo of that bearded guy? They?re now Flannery?s or something.

They closed the 20,000 Leagues ride at Disney World. And opened Buzz Lightyear. I offered to bring my own submarine. Okay, actually threatened, but they only wanted to discuss it in the security office. I've been doing running lately at theme parks.

But let?s not get hung up on the negative. It?s the holidays after all, so it was time to head back to Tampa. Because hiding out from the cops on your home turf during the season is always a warm-and-fuzzy. The malls have changed?when did yogurt go to five bucks?

In advance: Happy New Year! (Unlike the cruddy last one),

Serge A. Storms

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Bibliographic Details

Title: When Elves Attack
Publisher: Audiogo

Binding: Audio CD
Book Condition: Fair

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Dorsey, Tim
Published by Audiogo (2011)
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Book Description Audiogo, 2011. Audio Book(CD). Book Condition: Good. Good condition, some are ex-library and can have markings. Bookseller Inventory # GD-248-87-6798706

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