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Embittered Archie fan Protests Upcoming Nuptials by Selling Archie #1

archie-1The CBC reported on Friday that a longtime fan of Archie comics was so outraged by a recent development in the comic’s storyline – in which Archie Andrews snubbed girl next door Betty Cooper by proposing to her friend/rival the rich and snooty Veronica Lodge – that he sold his copy of Archie #1, from 1939. That’s right, Archie, Jughead and the gang have been going strong for 70 years.

I understand. Nobody likes painful reminders lying around, especially when they could fetch $38,837 US, as Dave Luebke’s copy did. You have to admire him for striking while the iron is hot – the issue in which Archie proposes, #600, is due to hit the stands on August 19th.

Now, if you’ll allow some indulgent babble for a moment – I may be the only person who thinks Archie made the right decision. Clearly the obvious choice for Veronica would be Reggie Mantle, the shallow, wealthy scoundrel always out to foil Archie, and Betty Cooper, the sweet-as-apple-pie wholesome girl would be perfect for Archie, the well-meaning but bumbling teenager who’s always broke and always getting himself into trouble.

But the thing is, I think Archie’s a masochist.

He fawns over Veronica like a sick puppy, picking up her drycleaning, doting on her, taking bushelsful of abuse from the aristocratic and disapproving Mr. Lodge. Meanwhile, whenever he dates Betty, they go dutch. She does his homework, helps fix his jalopy, and stands sweetly in the background waiting for him to notice her.

But all along, Archie has mostly only had eyes for Veronica’s raven-haired indifference. I think he’s a man with a self-esteem problem, who’s only capable of love, respect and attraction for a woman who shows him disdain, insult and abuse. And Veronica, spoiled, pampered princess that she is, would have a fun game of Archie, and have someone to flatter her and wait on her hand and foot. I think they’ll be very happy together (and need a safe word), and maybe Betty can get on with her life.

I always hoped the brainy Dilton Doiley would grow up handsome and sweep her away. Brainy guys are hot.

We don’t have a copy of #1 on the site, but we have plenty of collectible Archie comics going for a pretty penny.

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