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J.D. Salinger’s Toilet For Sale on Ebay

J.D. SalingerWant to own the catcher in the loo? Sorry, sorry.

As a man who famously cherished his privacy and abhorred fame, I wonder what J.D. Salinger would make of the fact that his used toilet is up for auction. The asking price? A cool million dollars.

It seems the couple who purchased the Salingers’ Cornish, NH home recently decided to replace the toilet and sell the one sat upon by the reclusive author’s famous tush. And no, I have zero idea if this is legitimate or not (how would one prove previous ownership of a toilet?), but it comes with a letter of authenticity, ostensibly from the new owners.

Not Salinger's toilet. Just a picture of a regular toilet. DO NOT PAY $1,000,000 FOR THIS TOILET

Not Salinger's toilet. Just a picture of a regular toilet. DO NOT PAY $1,000,000 FOR THIS TOILET

Part of me thinks these people are opportunistic gremlins who should be ashamed of themselves for being greedy and cashing in. But part of me thinks if there is actually someone out there with a ratio of money to common sense SO SKEWED as to pay anywhere near a million dollars for a used crapper, then they deserve to be very, very parted from said money.

As for Salinger himself, I imagine he’d be disgusted by the entire debacle, and saddened at the declining state of humanity, and full of despair, and all that.

But maybe not. Maybe he’d find it funny, and have a laugh at the idea of someone daft enough to pay through the nose for the privilege of reverently worshiping the place where he disposed of his bodily waste. I hope so.

The world is weird.

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