Losing Your Parents, Finding Yourself: The Defining Turning Point of Adult Life - Softcover

Secunda, Victoria

Softcover

ISBN 10: 078688651X ISBN 13: 9780786886517

Publisher: Hachette Books, 2001

Synopsis

An eloquent book that explores the impact on one's life of losing a parent as an adult, and the effect it has on families, careers, and friendships--now in paperback.

Losing a parent is an event that happens, sooner or later, to nearly everyone. Yet seldom has the impact of parental death on the identities of adult offspring been examined. This book fills that gap. Backed by her original study and filled with compelling case histories, Secunda's book explores what happens to men and women when they are on their own in ways they have never been before. She addresses myriad issues, including:

• What does it mean to be living without parents to please or rebel against?
• How does adult "orphanhood" alter relationships with one's siblings, partner, friends, children, or one's career choices?
• How does it reshape one's sense of self?

Losing Your Parents, Finding Your Self offers the assurance that out of loss can come unforeseen gain--that on the other side of sorrow, we can discover new hope, wisdom, and strength.

About this title

About the Author:

Victoria Secunda is an award-winning author, journalist, and lecturer. Her previous books include When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends and When Madness Comes Home. Her writing has appeared in such publications as Glamour, Women's Day, and Harper's Bazaar. She lives with her husband, photographer Shel Secunda, in Ridgefield, Connecticut.

From Publishers Weekly:

While most writers on parental death focus on mourning, Secunda (When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends) points out that this crucial event fosters major reassessment of one's attitude toward siblings, marriage, children and career. Having surveyed 94 people who have lost parents as adults, and interviewed several of them, as well as experts, she reports that each of the four possible familial pairings (father-son, etc.) has its own pattern, and that the loss of both parents has strong ripple effects. Notably, sibling relationships become primary, although affinities can fluctuate depending on birth order, age and previous closeness. Parental loss leaves many emotionally unmoored; in response, some feel a strong urge to marry, while others solidify or abort marriages, or confront their solitude. More than half of Secunda's respondents found that their relationship with their children changed, mostly for the better, while childless adults often paid new attention to nieces and nephews or became mentors. A significant minority reappraised their careers after their parents' death, leading to redirection, rejuvenation and, in some cases, confusion. More than half of the respondents reported intensified friendships, while some winnowed away those who didn't "add meaning to their lives." Ultimately, Secunda concludes, there is gain in loss. Those who made the most progress as "adult orphans" recognized that "whatever they did or didn't get from their parents now was moot." While hardly definitive, Secunda's survey is a stimulating look at a timely issue. 8-city author tour. (Mar.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About this edition

• Publisher: Hachette Books
• Publication date: 2001
• ISBN 10: 078688651X
• ISBN 13: 9780786886517
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 330