Dear Calamity . . . Love, Belle - Hardcover

Wronsky, Gail

9780517598887: Dear Calamity . . . Love, Belle

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0517598884 ISBN 13: 9780517598887

Publisher: Crown, 1994

Gritty, hilarious, and sometimes heartbreaking, the correspondence of cowgirls Calamity Wronsky and Belle Bendall articulates the strength, humor, passion, and compassion that are the essence of women's lives - north, south, east, or west.
In the spirit of Thelma and Louise on horseback, this eclectic correspondence speaks to the frontier woman in all of us with a mix of letters, poems, pie charts, and even new lyrics to use with favorite old songs. From the stuff cowgirl dreams are made of (a guy who looks like Clint Black and a new palomino pony) to the reality of women's lives ("A penny saved is probably just gonna be borrowed by somebody like your little sister Beverly for gettin' herself unpregnant. . ."), these women of the West impart wisdom and truth with a sharp-shooting cowgirl twist.
Get a glimpse of Calamity during "The Kennedy Years" when she and Belle were dating Bobby-Ted and Jack, or hear her tale that familiarly begins, "Hell, Belle, you'd think with all my worldliness in terms of men I'd a been wise to him from the start..." Soak in Calamity's Advice to the Lovelorn, and learn why Elizabeth Taylor and Whoopi Goldberg are cowgirls and Jerry Hall and Madonna are not.
Dear Calamity... Love, Belle is an epistolary novel that proves women really do know life's little instructions better than men.

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From Publishers Weekly:

In a sequel to their successful Calamity and Belle (1993), Wronsky and Bendall offer further ruminations about what it means to be a real-life, rootin'-tootin' cowgirl in modern America, mixing literary genres in a brisk, witty, crazy-quilt read. Typical are a list of items cowgirls should buy when shopping (horse blankets, Kahlua and anything with a crucifix), a packet of mini-reviews of Bendall's top cowgirl movies and an answer to the question, ``What Is a Cowgirl?'' laid out loosely to the tune, and in the style, of the old ditty, ``Mother.'' There are quizzes (``Are You a Cowgirl?'' and ``Guys, Are You Ready for a Real Cowgirl?'') as well as pie charts on how a cowgirl spends her day (in large part on ``thigh-slimmin' exercises and giving advice) and on ``What Bugs a Cowgirl'' (primarily, guys who don't buy her enough lingerie and flowers). Interspersed throughout are humorous poems (``The Kennedy Year''; ``Queen of the White Horse Bar and Grill'') and new karaoke lyrics to old country-and-western songs. Matters of the heart are dealt with in advice to the lovelorn and in ``Calamity's Bedroom Secrets,'' while concerns of the stomach are handled in recipes (more or less real) for ``Belle's Milk Shake for the Expectant Cowgirl,'' ``Belle's Star Casserole'' and the like. With their tongues planted firmly in cheeks, these hard-drinkin', hard-lovin', hard-livin' cowgirls may not be to everyone's taste, but they are certain to appeal to urban wranglers and wranglerettes everywhere.

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