How You Feel Is Up to You: The Power of Emotional Choice - Softcover

Gary D. McKay; Don C. Dinkmeyer Sr.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 091516681X ISBN 13: 9780915166817

Publisher: Impact Pub, 1994

Synopsis

The coauthors of the 3-million-copy bestselling Step series provide practical information and tools to help readers take responsibility for their own emotions. Of particular benefit to those who are depressed, anxious, stressed, or hostile, this step-by-step guide shows how to choose and change feelings.

About this title

About the Author:

Gary D. McKay, Ph.D., (Tucson, Arizona), is the co-author of eleven books and programs, including Raising Respectful Kids in a Rude World and Systematic Training For Effective Parenting (STEP), the world's leading parent education program. He is a licensed psychologist and a diplomate in Adlerian psychology (North American Society of Adlerian Psychology). Dr. McKay has conducted workshops for his publications in North America and Europe.

Don Dinkmeyer, Sr., Ph.D. (1924-2001), was a pioneer in the fields of elementary school counseling, Adlerian psychotherapy, classroom guidance, parent education, group counseling and marriage enrichment. He authored and co-authored 35 books and 125 professional journal articles, as well as psychological education programs like STEP in the areas of parenting, marriage enrichment, classroom guidance, and teaching. Dr. Dinkmeyer received lifetime achievement awards from several professional organizations.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

HOW YOU FEEL IS UP TO YOU from CHAPTER 1

--Josh was elated; he got the new job! His hard work -- searching the papers, surfing the net, making phone calls, interviewing -- had finally paid off. He was overjoyed.

--Kim cried bitterly after her fiance, John, broke off their engagement. The breakup seemed to be the end of the world. Her life was over!

--Brian was so mad at himself that he was shaking. "Mom was so hurt. How could I have shown up drunk at her party?"

--Tonja felt a sense of peace for the first time in months. The cabin was just what she had envisioned: cozy, nestled in the woods, facing a calm, shimmering lake. This two-week vacation was going to be relaxing.

The emotions Josh, Kim, Brian, and Tonja experienced -- joy, sadness, anger, peace -- are natural and universal. Everyone experiences a similar variety of feelings. In fact, people can't really live without feelings. As expressed in songs and poems, illustrated in paintings, TV stage, and movies, and revealed in literature, feelings are the essence of what it means to be human. Emotions give richness and meaning to life as well as fuel misery and conflict; they provide the bitter and the sweet of human existence. Can you imagine what life would be like without any emotions? Remember Mr. Spock of the original Star Trek? Life would be unbearably dull without the joy -- and sorrow -- that we humans feel.

Emotions can be wonderful and helpful, or unpleasant, even painful. Mild feelings of frustration, stress or anxiety can motivate us to act. But strong, deep, unpleasant feelings can be self-defeating. Extreme anger, sadness, or anxiety can get in the way of relationships and goals in life. We'd be better off with fewer of these, for sure.

"Beth approached her job interview with severe anxiety, telling herself, 'I know I'll blow it. The interviewer will find out how incompetent I feel. I need this job, but I don't think I can handle it...' Her prophecy came true; she blew it!"

Have you ever had an experience like Beth's when you're sure things will go wrong? In fact, just like Beth, you actually talked yourself into negative feelings! People often do this; it's not unique to Beth or you. It's part of being human.

A certain amount of anxiety -- wondering what kind of impression you'll make, wondering if you are up to it -- is fairly common. But there's a big difference between wondering and predicting failure. Strong negative thoughts and the resulting anxiety set you up for defeat.

This book is designed to help you gain control over your strong unpleasant emotions -- guilt, anger, depression, stress, anxiety -- and increase your joy and happiness. You'll discover that you can choose how you want to feel -- that how you feel is up to you! You have the power to choose emotions that will enrich your life and to make yourself happier.

We'll begin by discussing the nature of emotions -- what purpose they serve, how thoughts and mental images create feelings. You'll learn how to choose new purposes, thoughts, and images to produce more positive emotions.

You'll discover what to do when you feel guilty, angry, depressed, stressed, or anxious. You'll learn how to increase the joy, humor, and happiness in your life.

We'll discuss emotions and relationships -- how to effectively tell another person how you feel so that you make yourself heard!

You'll also discover how to really listen to someone else's feelings -- to show the person you do understand. You'll learn how to manage emotional conflicts effectively and how to create a win-win situation.

About this edition

• Publisher: Impact Pub
• Publication date: 1994
• ISBN 10: 091516681X
• ISBN 13: 9780915166817
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 3
• Number of pages: 278