Bearing the Unbearable: Coping with Infertility and Other Profound Suffering, or What to Do When Taking Charge of Your Fertility Fails - Softcover

Schultz, Karl A.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0978813863 ISBN 13: 9780978813864

Publisher: Nimble Books, 2007

Synopsis

BEARING THE UNBEARABLE wrestles with two of life's most painful realities, the loss or diminishment of hope and the inability of human beings to fulfill their vocation, potential, and dreams. We will focus on perhaps the most poignant cause of this, infertility, but our discussion will include other major obstacles to fulfillment. There is an innate link between the futility of procreative and potential fulfillment efforts. We will integrate western civilization's most famous infertility stories, those from the Bible, and particularly the Old Testament, with contemporary stories and your own.

Why I Wrote the Book

I wrote this book for two main reasons. First, I wanted to make the timeless insights and therapeutic applications of the Bible's infertility stories accessible to a wide audience. These can heal painful emotions and experiences, provide guidance on key decisions, and open up new ways of looking at your challenges and life as a whole. These stories transcend denominational boundaries and showcase universal emotions and experiences. They can truly be classified as world literature and every person's story.

Most books on infertility focus on emotional, social, financial, physiological, technological, homeopathic (natural remedies), and ethical issues. The spiritual aspect, which is closely linked to the others, has been largely overlooked, even though it is the aspect we have the greatest control over. Second, I have dealt with infertility and other intimate suffering both personally and professionally, and have not found literary resources that addressed my experiences and concerns. I hope this book helps you to bear whatever is unbearable in your life, be it the lack or loss of children, setbacks, deprivations, or pain of any kind.

About this title

From the Publisher:

Who This Book is For

This book is particularly relevant for persons dealing with biological infertility, but it is also appropriate for anyone trying to bear up under other unbearable circumstances. It is meant for all persons struggling to give and affirm life in one way or another.

BEARING THE UNBEARABLE devotes attention to the most natural and literal manifestation of this challenge, infertility, in a way that encompasses other experiences of loss and deprivation. Both the Bible and our common language use infertility as a metaphor for the inability of persons and groups to achieve their goals.

The frustrations and challenges of infertility are similar to other intimate losses and deprivations, including various obstacles to living a full life. I refer to the latter as functional infertility because we're not able to function as we'd like.

For example, at fifty we are laid off and cannot use our talents in the workplace. A parent of three is abandoned by their spouse and has to raise and provide for their children largely by themselves. We graduate from college loaded down with student loans and are unable to get a job in our field. We'll discuss numerous common injustices in this book. By seeing the relatedness of different types of afflictions, we can be more understanding and compassionate towards ourselves and others.

Getting Real and Getting Results

This book differs substantially from most self-help and inspirational books. It does not offer answers where there are none, nor does it paint a bleak picture rosy. It offers hope, inspiration, and practical guidance suited for the real world in which we live.

In this respect, it emulates the Bible, which approaches life in a realistic manner, unafraid to recognize its dark and gray aspects. Undeterred by sin and human weakness, the Bible emanates an underlying optimism and confidence in God and human beings, and a passion for life.

The Bible begins with the creation of life (Genesis) and ends with its consummation and perpetuation (Revelation). From beginning to end, it shows how to find joy, peace, and hope amid chaos. It is an ideal literary forum for confronting obstacles to fulfillment and discovering ways of transforming them.

We often hear the expressions "You can do whatever you set your mind to" or "You can get as far as you want in life." These have a grain of truth in them, but need to be qualified. Sometimes we can achieve our goals; other times obstacles force us to lower our sights and take alternate routes.

Authentic fulfillment of any dream or endeavor entails controlling what we can (free will, responsibility), and leaving the rest to God (providence), others (free will), and life (nature). This book offers suggestions for responding optimally to these factors in light of our afflictions. Trying to give life rather than grief to self and others doesn't always produce desired results in the present, but it remains a healthy and harmonious way to live. Through the grace of God, your own efforts, and the support of others, may you bear up under your unbearable pressures, and bear fruit in the paths you travel.

From the Author:

Personal Experience

I approach the topic from the inside, quite aware of the subtleties and ambiguities involved. My struggles with life's deprivations have taught me that coping is more a matter of living the questions than of finding absolute answers. No person's experience and perspective on such a subjective topic can be definitive. Because each person and situation is unique, I write in a dialogical, open-ended manner, offering familiar examples, customizable coping suggestions, and thought-provoking reflection questions.

Verbal and physical affirmation and poignant silence amid tragedy can speak eloquently. Through a balanced integration of stories, reflection, content, exercises, personal revelations, and humor, we can find meaning and direction amid the mystery of human impotence.

About this edition

• Publisher: Nimble Books
• Publication date: 2007
• ISBN 10: 0978813863
• ISBN 13: 9780978813864
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 212