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Morecock, Fartwell, & Hoare: A Collection of Unfortunate but True Names

Ash, Russell

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There’s a baby born every minute and each one has to be named. In this book, you’ll find an insanity of nomenclature that beggars belief. Russell Ash has trawled birth, marriage, and death certificates, phone books, and censuses going back centuries to compile a compendium of breathtakingly unlikely-but-true names.

Why on earth would Mr. and Mrs. O’Shea name their son Rick? What were the Fants thinking when they named their child Elle? Or Mr. and Mrs. Royd, for that matter, when naming their daughter Emma? Or how about Everard Cock, Page Turner, or Sally Forth?

In this painstakingly researched, utterly true, riotously entertaining collection, readers will discover real-life examples of some of the most unusual, crude, and shocking names ever, presenting a laugh-out-loud overview of eccentricity through the ages.

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About the Author:

RUSSELL ASH is best known for his annual Top 10 of Everything and other reference books. He is the author of numerous humor titles, and his extensive research work encompasses biographical studies and genealogy.  His ancestors include Claudius Ash (the inventor of false teeth) and Serjeant (his name, not his rank) Ash, and he married into a family that celebrates its ancestors, the Cobbledicks.

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MORECOCK, FARTWELL, & HOARE
Chapter One THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY In which we meet a diverse array of people whose names are remarkable, baffling, uncategorizable, or just plain weird. --A-- Alf Abbet Born Teddington, Middlesex, c.1849 (Teddington, 1891 census) George Sneezum Acock Born Woolwich, London, 1873 Herbert Slap Aldhous Born Islington, London, 1874 Agent Mildred Allsop Born Barrow upon Soar, Leicestershire, 1904 Phil Ander Born Westminster, London, c.1842 (St Martln-in-the-Fields. London, 1871 census) Furious Andrews (Female) Born Great Horwood, Buckinghamshire, c.1821 (Steeple Claydon, Buckinghamshire, 1881 census) B. Ann Angel (Female) Born Bedwelty, Monmouthshire, 1894 Onesiphorous Ankers Married Blackburn, Lancashire, 1910 John Anonymous Born np c.1865; died West Ham, Essex, 1868 Rameses Arblaster Born Cannock, Staffordshire, 1910 Ann Archy Born Haslingden, Lancashire, 1886 Annie Argument Born Durham 1887 Wow Ashworth (Female) Born Lancashire c.1771 (Blackburn, Lancashire, 1841 census) Herbert Abcdef Atkinson Born Tynemouth, Northumberland, 1904 Betty Auckward Baptized All Saints, Hereford, 6 June 1755 --B-- Fairest Babbett Died Manchester, Lancashire, 1864 Eileen Back Born Merthyr Tydfil, Glamorgan, 1908 Helen Back Born Tiverton, Devon, 1849 Shepherdess Jane Backhoffner Born St Marylebone. London, 1845 (St Marylebone, 1851 census) Shepherdess was the daughter of George H. Backhoffner, Professor of Chemistry and Natural Philosophy and Registrar of Births & Deaths. Ptolemy Tom Backholer Born Sherborne, Dorset, 1872 Bedding Badding Born Holborn, London, c.1889 (Lambeth, London, 1901 census) Lilian Comforter Badman Born West Ham, Essex, 1902 Earthly Emma Bailey Born Mitford, Norfolk, 1879 Bertram Cannon Ball Born Stourbridge, Worcestershire, 1875 Intercydonia M. Ball (Female) Married James Jarvis, Wolstanton, Staffordshire, 1912 Mother Balmforth Born Bramley, Yorkshire, 1866 Banger Balster Married Manchester, Lancashire, 1855 Aberycusgentylis Balthropp Baptized Iver, Buckinghamshire, 25 January 1648 Dimple H. Bangle (Male) Born Barnstable, Devon, c.1825 (Instow, Devon, 1871 census) Piggy Banks Born Kimmeridge, Dorset, c.1810 (East Stonehouse, Devon, 1851 census) Fud Barbee Born Scotland c.1853 (on ship Bride of the Nile, Humber, 1871 census) Ali Barber Baptized Inveresk with Musselburgh, Midlothian, 29 August 1731 William Y. Barfly Born Penmaenmar, Caernarvonshire, c.1864 (Leek, Lancashire, 1881 census) Joseph XXX Barkass Married Newcastle uponTyne, Northumberland, 1855 Zerrubabel Barraclough Born Keighley, Yorkshire. 1879 Faith Hope And Charity Barratt [one person] Born Exeter, Devon, I 846 Lilian Fluffy Barrett Born Shoreditch, London, 1895 Thomas Honeybun Bartlett Born Weymouth. Dorset, 1877 Monte Cristo T. Barton Born Lambeth, London, 1898 Boadicea Basher Baptized St Hilary, Cornwall, 13 January 1856 William Bashful Born Staffordshire c.1847 (Spitalfelds, London, 1871 census) Bertie Basin Born Holborn, London, c.1891 (Clerkenwell, London, 1901 census) Fancy Baskett Married Steyning, Sussex, 1880 Sosthenes Bather Died Cokhester, Essex, 1847 Thomas Grain Thought Bays Married City of London, 1841 New Year Beadle (Female) Married James Theaker, Thorne, Lincolnshire, 1862 Mercy Beak Married Bath, Somerset, 1870 Hula Beanland Born Burnley, Lancashire, 1871 Choo Ah Beano Married Stepney, London, 1882 Astynax Beattle Born Burghfield, Berkshire, c.1855 (Dorking, Surrey, 1871 census) Harry Beatup Born Eastbourne, Sussex, c.1878 (Eastbourne, 1881 census) John Sidney Six Beckham Born Norwich, Norfolk. 1860 Eleazer Bed Born Whitechapel, London, 1871 Gaylord Beebe Born Ashton-under-Lyne, Lancashire, 1892 Sarah Pudentia Beeks Married Bala, Merionethshire, 1868 Bess Befor Baptized St Giles without Cripplegate, London, 26 July 1629 Bozy Bench Born Calverton, Nottinghamshire, c. 1889 (Calverton, 1891 census) May Snow Bennett Born Plymouth, Devon, 1893 Thomas Churchreform Bennett Married Faversham, Kent, 1858 Rob Bery Born Whitechapel, London, 1857 Tunu Bibi Born np 1938; died St Albans, Hertfordshire, 1998 Tunu is said to be a Miwok Indian name meaning 'deer thinking about going to eat wild onions'. Annice Bible Born Wolstanton, Staffordshire, 1907 Uretha Jane Biddle Born Nottingham 1889 Betty Big Baptized Rolvenden, Kent, 17 January 1762 Smallhope Biggs (Male) Born Cranbrook, Kent, c.1556 Old Bill Died Newcastle upon Tyne, Northumberland, 1906 Spanner Bing Born Northwood, Isle of Wight, c.1822 (Newchurch, Hampshire, 1851 census) Eliza Dribble Bingham Married Chesterfield, Derbyshire, 1862 Beasley Bingo (Male) Married Elizabeth Davies, Orleton, Herefordshire, 29 May 1681 Annie Primate Binnington Married Sculcoates, Yorkshre, 1880 John Wheeler Binns Born Wellington, Shropshire, 1874 Al Bino Born St Marylebone, London, c. 1860 (Southwark, London, 1871 census) Parky Bishop Died Pontypridd, Glamorgan, 1880 Simon Straight Bishop Born np c. 1818; died St Columb, Cornwall, 1871 Matt Black Born Felling, Durham, c.1861 (Holmside, Durham, 1891 census) Thomas John Dosias Four Blackwell Born Morpeth, Durham, 1842 Minnie Moon Blagg Born Basford, Nottinghamshire, 1880 Trueheart Blanchard Died Spilsby Lincolnshire, 1839 Marmaluke Bland Married Spilsby, Lincolnshire, 1888 Silence Bliss (Female) Born Woodend, Northamptonshire, c.1846 (Blakesley, Northamptonshire, 1871 census) Strain Blogg Born Norfolk c. 1773 (South Erpingham, Norfolk, 1841 census) Emma Bloodisack Born Rotherhithe, London, c. 1858 (Hackney, 1881 census) Phalliss Bloomer Born Cradley, Worcestershire, c.1876 (Litchurch, Derbyshire, 1881 census) Mary L. Blotto Born Lambeth, London, 1911 Bill Board Born Abergavenny, Monmouthshire, c. 1890 (Abergavenny, 1891 census) Water Board Born Axbridge, Somerset, 1853 Kiss Bobby (Female) Born Diss, Norfolk, c.1853 (Fersfield, Norfolk, 1871 census) Liar Bodwell (Male) Born Manchester Lancashire, c.1884 (Ince-in-Makerfeld, Lancashire, 1901 census) Annie Body Born Plympton St Mary, Devon, 1866 Bold Bold Married Salford, Lancashire, 1838 Nora Bone Born South Stoneham, Hampshire, 1902 Fuku Nozwara Boogert Born np 1935; died Hammersmith, London, 1988 Risque Booth Born Stockport, Cheshire, 1909 Julius Caesar K. Borgia Born StAndrews, Middlesex (Holborn, London, 1871 census) Friend Bottle Born Middlesex c. 1816 (St Botolph, Aldersgate, London, 1841 census) Pop Botts (Male) Born Dorset c.1878 (Bournemouth, Hampshire, 1891 census) Bridget Bouncer Baptized Dunchideock, Devon, 23 October 1659 Sarah Bouncy Married Bishop's Stortford, Hertfordshire, 1876 Honour Bound Buried St Pinnock, Cornwall, 1783 Spartacus Martial Bourdin Born Hendon, Middlesex, 1890 Faintnot Isaday Bourne Born Rye, Sussex, 1878 Geronimo Bow (Male) Married Cathe [sic] Williams, St George in the East, London, 1810 Charles Damp Bowden Born Portsea Island, Hampshire, 1895 Affability Box Baptized St John Horsleydown, Bermondsey, London, 3 March 1822 Ima Box Born Reading, Berkshire, c. 1865 (Reading, 1871 census) Wallop Brabazon Married Jane Du Pre, St Marylebone, London, 19 March 1796 Herbert Superbus Bradbury Born Chorlton, Lancashire, 1908 His middle name is assumed to be'Superb-us', as in Roman prefect Marcus Superbus, rather than 'Super-bus'. Amelia Disturnal Brassington Born West Bromwich, Staffordshire, 1871 Susan Brasso Baptized Wisborough Green, Sussex, 12 December 1602 Lettice Bray Baptized Mobberley, Cheshire, 26 April 1807 Richard Clencher Brazier Born Wolverhampton, Staffordshire, 1840 Freezer Breeze Born GreatYarmouth, Norfolk, c.1839 (GreatYarmouth, 1851 census) Eva Brick (Female) BornTurkey c. 1874 (Battersea, London, 1901 census) Napoleon Lavoisier Voltaire Briggs Married West Bromwich, Staffordshire, 1862 Jucy [ sic] Ann Brocklebank Born Bootle, Cumberland, 1871 Foetus Brocklehurst Born Prestwich, Lancashire, 1877 Napkin Brooker Married Mary Hawkins, St Michael, Lewes, 23 October 1799 Wack Broomhead (Male) Born Over Haddon, Derbyshire, c.1848 (Haddon, Derbyshire, 1851 census) Emily Pocohontas [ sic] Brown Born Gravesend, Kent, 1847 An appropriate middle name: native American princess Pocahontas, wife of English colonist John Rolfe and star of the Disney animated film, died in Gravesend 230 years earlier. Irony Thomas Brown Born Romford, Essex, 1843 Nimrod Buckett Born Portsmouth, Hampshire, 1820 Content Increase Buckley Born Oldham, Lancashire, 1860 Benito Mussolini Buckross Born np 1932; died Bradford, Yorkshire, 1997 What may have sounded like an interesting choice of first names when the fascist dictator was allegedly making the Italian trains run on time perhaps seemed less appealing ten years later. Lovely Budge Born Chard, Somerset, 1881 Alefounder Bugg Born Brantham, Suffolk, 18 April 1817 Original Bugg Born Lincoln 1907 Lamentation Bullivant Born Spilsby, Lincolnshire, 1841 Rahartha Bung (Female) Born Tiverton, Devon, c.1860 (Newton Abbot, Devon, 1861 census) Philemon Bungy Born Brighton, Sussex c. 1873 (Brighton, 1881 census) Philadelphia Bunnyface Laneast, Cornwall, will, 1722 The inclusion of this name among those published by the Cornwall Record Office in its list of 'Silly Names' upset some people called Boniface, who believed the name to be a corruption of theirs. Bounce E. Burbidge (Female) Born Sheffield, Yorkshire, c. 1856 (Sheffield, 1871 census) Furry Jane Burbidge Born Friskney, Lincolnshire, c. 1847 (Friskney, 1871 census) Rhoda Failing Burpee Born Bucklow, Cheshire, 1905 Tim Burr Born Watford, Hertfordshire, 1867 Ethelbert Bursting Born Waterbeach, Cambridgeshire, c. 1877 (Cambridge, 1901 census) Judas Iscariot Burton Born Stafford 1882 Wealthy Buscomb Buried St Breock, Cornwall, 1723 Florence May Bust Born Nottingham 1895 Thankful Butler Born Hastings, Sussex, 1838 Providence Buttefant (Female) Born np c. 1806 (Southwold, Suffolk, 1841 census) Delight Butterworth Born np c. 1856, Massachusetts, USA (Droylsden, Lancashire, 1891 census) Leviathan Buttress Born Stevenage, Hertfordshire, c. 1853 (Bartlow, Cambridgeshire, 1881 census) Bob By Born Battle, Sussex, c. 1841 (Battle, 1841 census) Along with names such as Er and Up, By is one of a small number of two-letter surnames in the UK. --C-- Harie Cabaret Baptized London 10 January 1628 William Snafu Cadman Born St George, Southwark, London, 1853 If correct, this would be a unique usage of'Snafu'-better known as the acronym for'Situation Normal All Fucked Up'-as a name, but is more probably a snafu by the Registrar, and is meant to be 'Snape'. Julia Caesar Born Westminster, London, c. 1832 (Lambeth, 1851 I census) Julia Caesar was the daughter of Octavius Caesar, a coachsmith. Julius Caesar Married Alice Dente, Mitcham, Surrey, 10 April 1596 Rose Cann Cann Born Barnstaple, Devon, 1867 Peculiar Cannon (Female) Born Claypole, Lincolnshire, c.1876 (Hawton, Nottinghamshire, 1881 census) Mephibosheth Capstack (Male) Born Halifax,Yorkshire, 1869 (Northowram, Yorkshire, 1871 census) Truly Carbon Born Dorking, Surrey c. 1869 (Broadwater Down, Kent, 1901 census) I. D. Card (Female) Born Portsmouth, Hampshire, 1908 Valentine Card (Male) Born np 1913; died Chelmsford, Essex, 1993 Joseph Greenhouse Careless Born Walsall, Staffordshire, 1874 John Lucknow Hidden Carpenter Born Upton-upon-Severn, Worcestershire, 1859 His name presumably commemorated the Siege of Lucknow, India, two years earlier. Clint Cartilige Born Prescot, Lancashire, 1849 Splash Carver Born np 1913; died Romsey, Hampshire, 2001 George Frisky Cattermole Born Depwade, NorFolk, 1896 Swill Baden Dentwyford Cawthorne Born Leeds, Yorkshire, c. 1900 (Chapel Allerton,Yorkshire, 1901 census) Mary Celeste Born Lancashire c.1811 (Liverpool, Lancashire, 1841 census) A spookily prescient name-the mysterious case of the abandoned ship Mary Celeste did not occur until 1872. Flora Sexburga Chambers Born Durham c. 1874 (Altrincham, Cheshire, 1881 census) Moon Chaplin Died Norwich, Norfolk, 1844 Molesbury Vim Chapman (Male) Born Helpston, Northamptonshire, c.1847 (Newborough, Northamptonshire, 1871 census) Eliza Kanbone Chegwidder Baptized Feock, Cornwall, 28 May 1848 Alice Louisa Damp Child Born Sandown, Hampshire, c.1877 (Portsea, Hampshire, 1891 census) Charity Chilly Baptized Menheniot, Cornwall, 24 November 1736 Emma Chiset Born Brighton, Sussex, c.1828 (Brighton, 1851 census) Ah Choo Married Stepney, London, 1882 Jesus Christ Born np 1940; died Rotherham, Yorkshire, 2004 Merry Christmas Born Midhurst, Sussex, 1874 Sabbath Church (Male) Baptized Wybunbury, Cheshire, 3 March 1731 El Cid (Female) Baptized St Paul, Norwich, Norfolk, 25 April 1686 Minnie Pudentiana Clague Born West Derby, Lancashire, 1872 George Edward Short Clampit Born Newton Abbot, Devon, 1848 Charlotte Clapsaddle Born np c.1796 (Rochdale, Lancashire, 1841 census) Pussie Maude L. Clarke Born Lexden, Essex, 1898 Argy Clatworthy (Female) Born Exeter, Devon, 1876 Curvey Cleary Born Newcastle upon Tyne, Northumberland, c. 1846 (Paddington, London, I 89 I census) Minnehaha Clements Born Wandsworth, London, 1874 Pubella Clements (Female) Born Middlesex c. 1879 (Lambeth, London, 1881 census) Aureola Clinton Born Battersea, London, c. 1892 (Battersea, 1901 census) Jelling Cluck Baptized Bedlington, Northumberland, 17 December 1671 Jessie Clutterbuck Clutterbuck Born Chepstow, Monmouthshire, 1845 Charles Cobweb Baptized St James Roman Catholic Church, Winchester, Hampshire, 12 February 1818 Mary Ann Cocaine Born Derbyshire c. 1828 (Failsworth, Lancashire, 1901 census) Earthy Cocksedge Born Stowmarket, Suffolk, c. 1899 (Stowmarket, 1901 census) Christopher Cockshit Baptized Clayton with Frickey, Yorkshire, 14 October 1771 Admonition Codd Died Newton Abbot, Devon, 1842 Not Wanted James Colvill Born Lambeth, London, 1861 William Conqueror Born Sunderland, Durham, 1862 Norman Conquest Born Lewisham, London, 1904 Ellen Slow Cooch Born Northampton 1838 Harry Tantrum Cook Born Stockbridge, Hampshire, 1894 Humiliation Cook Died Ipswich, Suffolk, 1848 Sexy Cook Died Bedminster, Somerset, 1848 William Henry Boke Cool Baptized St Andrew by the Wardrobe, London, 5 April 1856 Honey Coombs Born Stratford-upon-Avon,Warwickshire, 1880 Richard Transvestent Copp Born np 1910; died Carlisle, Cumberland, 1995 Charles Crusher Corale Born Leicester 1844 Henry Porn Cordery Born Petersfield, Hampshire, 1872 Chunky Cornfield Born np 1931; died Birmingham, West Midlands, 2000 T. Cosy (Male) Born South Molton, Devon, c.1820 (South Molton, 1881 census) Flake Cox (Female) Born Hampshire c.1891 (Battersea, London, 1891 census) Knickless J. Cox (Male) Born Liverpool, Lancashire, c.1877 (Liverpool, 1881 census) Lurking Crabb Born Gosfield, Essex, c.1780 (West Hanningfeld, Essex, 1861 census) Charlotte Crack Married John Amos, St Leonard, Shoreditch, London, I I October 1846 Irene May Crack Born Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk 1913; died 1989 Patience Creep Baptized Boyton, Cornwall, 3 October 1790 Peter Creeper Baptized Tresmeer, Cornwall, 7 August 1768 Edmund Crisp Crick Crick Born Loddon, Norfolk, 1842 Lusty Gladstone Cripps Born Highworth, Wiltshire, 1894 Soapy Crooks Married Bosmere, Suffolk, 1891 Chris Cross Born Trull, Somerset, I November 1598 Orlando Furiosa Cross Buried St Mary, Lichfeld, Shropshire, 5 April 1621 Fuxilla Crowther (Female) Born Facit, Lancashire, c. 1829 (Whitworth, Lancashire, 1871 census) Cosmo Crump...

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