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The planet was one big marble of wretchedness. And I wasn't exactly being lifted aloft by bluebirds either. I was wheeling down the Baltimore- Washington Parkway in my unexciting car on the fourth record-breaking freezing cold day in a row, tuning in to what seemed to be the preexisting fact that I was going to be tracking down a cold-blooded murderer.Said murderer has deposited a corpse on Hitch's doorstep--in the middle of a wake, no less. The unscheduled body is one Helen Waggoner, a single mother with a double life as a waitress and porn star. Hitch's girlfriend sees the unceremonious delivery as a scoop in the making. Bonnie Nash is a less-than- accurate TV weather woman who's got a bad case of occupational shame ("I'm a pair of breasts that tells you what the weather is going to be tomorrow. Maybe."). She figures that solving a murder ought to earn her a network promotion. But it's not that easy. When Helen's sister also turns to Hitch for some moral and investigative support, the undertaker finds himself digging through the family closets and unearthing some distinctly unsavory skeletons. It turns out that a taste for the (ahem) silver screen is a Waggoner tradition, and that the sisters have a long--and not particularly affectionate--history. It's up to Hitch to put the pieces of the puzzle together before a hired killer with a peculiar signature takes him apart.
Cockey has a rare gift for sending up the hallowed conventions of mystery fiction with effortlessly wry turns of phrases: "I looked about to assess the scene. I'm six-three, so I have a decent vantage point for assessing." His plot skills have sharpened since his last outing, and the narrative moves along briskly to a conclusion both tidy and ironic. Appropriately enough, though, in this Hearse, the ride is even more fun than the destination. --Kelly Flynn
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