Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough - Hardcover

Gottlieb, Lori

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0525951512 ISBN 13: 9780525951513

Publisher: Dutton, 2010

Synopsis

Lori Gottlieb discusses Marry Him in a video on The Atlantic website.

You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right?

But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?

Suddenly finding herself forty and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough.

Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point," to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned forty, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"?

That's where Marry Him comes in.

By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face--how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy--as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties.

Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

About this title

About the Author

Lori Gottlieb is the author of the national bestseller Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self and a journalist whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, Time, People, Slate, Self, Glamour, Elle, Salon, and the Los Angeles Times. She is also a frequent commentator for NPR’s All Things Considered.

Review

"An unexpected delight. Honest and darkly comic... the truth can be liberating." 
-The New York Times 

"Marry Him is surprisingly, unnervingly convincing." 
-O, The Oprah Magazine

"Funny and relatable... anything but antiromance."
-People magazine

"A sensible plea to discard the toxic fantasy of romantic comedies and think realistically about what makes a solid partnership." 
-Salon 

"This is the smartest relationship book I've read in years."
-AOL's lemondrop.com

"This impeccably researched tome is mandatory reading." 
-The Huffington Post
 
"Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love--by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives? Marry Him will set people talking for years." 
-Gretchen Rubin, New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project
 
"I wish I could round up every single woman I know and assign this book for discussion. Marry Him is a big fat lesson in how not to get in your own way. Any woman who wants to find true love and hasn't been able to should read this book." 
-Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., relationship expert at Perfectmatch.com

"A well-conceived and convincing argument on how to find a more realistic Mr. Right. If you've ever sought your own Prince Charming, your love life will never be the same again. And that's a good thing."
-Christian Science Monitor


"Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people's stories with Gottlieb's own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture-everything from When Harry Met Sally to The Bachelor-come into play when modern women look for love." 
-The New York Observer 

"A provocative pop culture treatise... she encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions." 
-The Chicago Tribune 

"The buzz surrounding Lori Gottlieb's newest book, Marry Him, is well- deserved... She writes with honesty and hope, and there are many people who will benefit from reading this book." 
-The Examiner
 
"What Gottlieb is saying isn't subversive--it's smart. A thoroughly entertaining reality check."
-Diablo Cody, Academy Award-winning Screenwriter of Juno 

"Finally, here's a cautionary tale for anyone wondering why she hasn't found Mr. Right--with a hopeful message about the Mr. Right Nows, the Mr. Close Enoughs, and even the Mr. What the F*#%s." 
-Jill Soloway, writer and executive producer for Six Feet Under  and Transparent

"Engaging, hilarious, and eye-opening! Marry Him is an encouraging story about finding love by getting real." 
-Rachel Greenwald, New York Times bestselling author of Find a Husband After 35 

"This is a daring and wise book. Women (and men) should take Gottlieb's message to heart: 'Look for reasons to say yes.' It could change your life." 
-Helen Fisher, Ph.D., Rutgers University and author of Why Him? Why Her? 

"I have been very happily married for many years, and if my daughters ever ask me for advice about potential spouses, I plan to pass off a lot of what's in this book as my own sage wisdom." 
-Kurt Anderson, New York Times bestselling author of Heyday and host of public radio's Studio 360 

"Lori Gottlieb's smart, insightful, witty observations gleaned on her own unusual romantic path signal and important new voice in single-girl lit. The Rules turned single women needy, He's Just Not That Into You made them depressed, and Marry Him finally sets them free, preaching that in the long run, 'good enough' might be better than great." 
-Amy Sohn, author of Prospect Park West 

"By telling you to read Lori Gottlieb's incisive and insightful book, I hope I can make up for all the unrealistic romantic propaganda I had a hand in spreading as a former editor at a glossy women's magazine."
-Megan McCafferty, New York Times bestselling author of the Jessica Darling series

Edition details

• Publisher: Dutton
• Publication date: 2010
• ISBN 10: 0525951512
• ISBN 13: 9780525951513
• Binding: Hardcover
• Language: English
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 336