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Synopsis
Examines the characteristics of lasting relationships while applying Control Theory as the basis for explaining the key difference between sex and sexual love and citing friendship as the essential part of any successful marriage.
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Reviews
"There are too many married strangers," asserts Glasser, originator of Reality Therapy and the Control Theory. Here he applies his principles to romantic and sexual relationships. Human beings, to be fulfilled, must satisfy one or more of five needs: survival, love, power, freedom and fun. These are genetically based, and not everyone's needs are the same. Thus the interplay of different needs determines whether a match is workable. For example, those with a high need for love should probably avoid those with a strong drive for freedom unless other needs balance out. Although two "high-power" people are nearly always ill-matched, according to the author, high-love pairs are not. By determining what makes us happy?our "quality world"?we can decide how to stop "choosing" behaviors in potential partners that lead to misery for both. Included is a test designed to help readers and their spouses discover their needs and thus their compatibility. A thought-provoking addition to the self-help genre.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Glasser, author of Control Theory (1985) and various books that apply principles of the control theory to business and classroom situations, now applies the same principles to marital relationships. A recent widower, Glasser explains how he applied his psychiatric axiom--" the only person we can control is ourself" --to locating an appropriate spouse. Glasser defines basic human needs (love, survival, power, freedom, and fun) and then elaborates on how an individual's internal rating of these needs make them more, or less, compatible with others. An interesting theory, keenly depicted, and as sensible as any for locating a spouse. Denise Perry Donavin
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Staying Together
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HarperCollins Publishers, 1995
ISBN 10: 0060172479
ISBN 13: 9780060172473
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Staying Together
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ISBN 10: 0060172479
ISBN 13: 9780060172473
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