When Children Grieve : For Adults to Help Children Deal With Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses

3.9 avg rating
( 77 ratings by GoodReads )
 
9780060196134: When Children Grieve : For Adults to Help Children Deal With Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses

To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregivers. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss.In When children Grieve, John W James and Russell Friedman of the Grief Recovery Institute, along with psychotherapist Dr. Leslie Landon Matthews, have created a cutting-edge volume that will help free children from the false idea that they "shouldn't feel bad" and will empower them with positive, effective methods of dealing with loss.There are many life experiences that can produce feelings of grief in a child, everything from the death of a relative or a divorce, to more everyday experiences such as moving to a new neighborhood or losing a prized possession. Whatever the reason or the degree of severity if a child you love is grieving, the guidelines examined in this thoughtful book can make a difference. For example:Listen with your heart, not your head. Allow all emotions to be expressed, without judgment, criticism, or analysis.Recognize that grief is emotional, not intellectual. Avoid the trap of asking your child what is wrong, for he or she will automatically say "Nothing."Adults -- Go first. Telling the truth about your own grief will make your child feel safe in opening up about his or her own feelings.Remember that each of your children is unique and each has a unique relationship to the loss event.Be patient. Don't force your child to talk.Never say "Don't feel sad" or "Don't feel scared." Sadness and fear, the two most common feelings attached to loss of any kind, are essential to being human.

"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

Review:

It would be a pity if this interesting, humane, and practical book were read only by parents of recently bereaved children--for two reasons. First, the book is about grief in a broad sense. Its lessons apply not only to the child whose pet, aunt, or parent has died, but also to the child whose parents have divorced, who has suffered a debilitating injury, or who has experienced other forms of traumatic loss. Second, let's face it: every child will suffer a loss at some point, so it behooves parents to be prepared in advance. As the authors say, "our task as parents is to prepare our children to deal with the experiences they will have."

It's unfortunate that the book has what might be considered a common structural flaw in self-help books. All of Part I (about 50 pages) is devoted to examining various myths about grieving and mistakes in dealing with it--for example, that the griever should keep busy and try not to feel bad. This is "good advice about bad advice," but it leaves the reader wondering why the authors didn't choose to get on with the plain old "good advice" on page 1. By Part II, it's already clear which coping techniques the authors will recommend. It would have been better to start there. --Richard Farr

About the Author:

John W. James was born in Danville, Illinois. He was thrust unwillingly into the arena of grief and recovery when his three-day-old son died in 1977. John lives in Los Angeles with his Emmy Award-winning wife, Jess Walton -- the evil "Jill Abbott" on The Young & the Restless -- and spends most of his free time with daughter Allison and son Cole.

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

Top Search Results from the AbeBooks Marketplace

1.

James, John W.; Friedman, Russell; Matthews, Dr. Leslie
Published by Harper
ISBN 10: 0060196130 ISBN 13: 9780060196134
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 1
Seller
Your Online Bookstore
(Houston, TX, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Harper. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. 0060196130. Bookseller Inventory # HGT4656JGGG122116H0734A

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 2.38
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 2.95
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

2.

James, John W.; Friedman, Russell; Matthews, Dr. Leslie
Published by Harper (2001)
ISBN 10: 0060196130 ISBN 13: 9780060196134
New Hardcover First Edition Quantity Available: 1
Seller
Ergodebooks
(RICHMOND, TX, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Harper, 2001. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. 1st. Bookseller Inventory # DADAX0060196130

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 10.73
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

3.

James, John W.; Friedman, Russell; Matthews, Dr. Leslie
ISBN 10: 0060196130 ISBN 13: 9780060196134
New Quantity Available: 1
Seller
Castle Rock
(Pittsford, NY, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Book Condition: Brand New. Book Condition: Brand New. Bookseller Inventory # 97800601961341.0

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 11.04
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

4.

James, John W.; Friedman, Russell; Matthews, Dr. Leslie
Published by Harper
ISBN 10: 0060196130 ISBN 13: 9780060196134
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 1
Seller
M and N Media
(Acworth, GA, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Harper. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. 0060196130 We guarantee all of our items - customer service and satisfaction are our top priorities. Please allow 4 - 14 business days for Standard shipping, within the US. Bookseller Inventory # TM-0060196130

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 17.95
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

5.

James, John W.; Friedman, Russell; Matthews, Dr. Leslie
Published by Harper (2001)
ISBN 10: 0060196130 ISBN 13: 9780060196134
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 1
Seller
Book Deals
(Lewiston, NY, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Harper, 2001. Book Condition: New. Brand New, Unread Copy in Perfect Condition. A+ Customer Service! Summary: To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregivers. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss.In When children Grieve, John W James and Russell Friedman of the Grief Recovery Institute, along with psychotherapist Dr. Leslie Landon Matthews, have created a cutting-edge volume that will help free children from the false idea that they "shouldn't feel bad" and will empower them with positive, effective methods of dealing with loss.There are many life experiences that can produce feelings of grief in a child, everything from the death of a relative or a divorce, to more everyday experiences such as moving to a new neighborhood or losing a prized possession. Whatever the reason or the degree of severity if a child you love is grieving, the guidelines examined in this thoughtful book can make a difference. For example: Listen with your heart, not your head. Allow all emotions to be expressed, without judgment, criticism, or analysis.Recognize that grief is emotional, not intellectual. Avoid the trap of asking your child what is wrong, for he or she will automatically say "Nothing."Adults -- Go first. Telling the truth about your own grief will make your child feel safe in opening up about his or her own feelings.Remember that each of your children is unique and each has a unique relationship to the loss event.Be patient. Don't force your. Bookseller Inventory # ABE_book_new_0060196130

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 22.67
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

6.

James, John W.; Friedman, Russell; Matthews, Dr. Leslie
Published by Harper (2001)
ISBN 10: 0060196130 ISBN 13: 9780060196134
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 1
Seller
Irish Booksellers
(Rumford, ME, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Harper, 2001. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. book. Bookseller Inventory # 0060196130

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 22.69
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

7.

James, John W.; Friedman, Russell; Matthews, Dr. Leslie
Published by Harper (2001)
ISBN 10: 0060196130 ISBN 13: 9780060196134
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 3
Seller
Murray Media
(North Miami Beach, FL, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Harper, 2001. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. Bookseller Inventory # P110060196130

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 45.86
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 2.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds