Couples: Exploring and Understanding the Cycles of Intimate Relationships - Softcover

Dym, Barry; Glenn, Michael L., M.D.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0060922273 ISBN 13: 9780060922276

Publisher: Perennial, 1994

Synopsis

A refreshingly candid and nonjudgemental view of couples as they really are--not simply as they should or could be--Couples uses numerous examples to identify three distinct yet recurring stages common to all enduring relationships: Expansion and Promise, Contraction, and Resolution.

About this title

From Kirkus Reviews

Children have stages, said Erik Erikson; adults have stages, said Daniel Levinson and Gail Sheehy; and now, says this team, couples have stages as well. So what else is new? asks anyone who has ever been in a sustained relationship. What's new is that Dym (Clinical Psychology/Harvard Medical School) and Glenn (a psychiatrist) have attempted to codify the stages. First comes ``Expansion and Promise'' (the honeymoon), then ``Contraction and Betrayal'' (the end of the honeymoon), and, finally, ``Resolution'' (compromise). In Expansion, the lovers flower, each presenting the best that they can be, each seeing the other through an amber lens. In Contraction, reality sets in as the lovers fall back on old patterns and view each other as if in a police lineup. Uninhibited charm becomes empty-headed chatter; quiet strength becomes stubborn withdrawal. In Resolution, the lovers negotiate, and appreciate their differences. Unlike other stage theories, the authors' doesn't plateau at a final stage; instead, the cycle replays again and again until the relationship ends or the periods of happy Expansion or acceptable Resolution override those of painful Contraction. Unfortunately, however, misery seems to dominate the case histories, which also seem to highlight stereotypes--for example, whiny women and disaffected men, a selection that seems retrogressive after a generation of women have struggled for independence, and men for sensitivity. Despite some nuggets--among them a discussion of the character of the couple as distinct from the characters of its participants- -the discouraging examples and types undermine the authors' messages. -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

From Publishers Weekly

All couples traverse three distinct stages during the course of a relationship, according to Dym (co-founder of the Family Institute in Cambridge, Mass.) and Glen (co-founder of Family Systems Medicine, also in Cambridge). During the first stage, called Expansion and Promise--what we usually think of as "falling in love"--couples establish the foundation of their relationship and generate "interactional sequences"--predictable patterns of communication. Eventually most couples must acknowledge their individual limitations; conflicts arise as they enter "contradiction and betrayal." If the couple survives this time of mutual disillusionment, they move on to "resolution," where they work through differences and establish a lasting love. Unusual in its scope and depth, this book, though somewhat reductive, examines the impact of cultural expectations and the influence of outside parties ("context") on intimate relationships. Case histories and diverse couples including several gay and lesbian partnerships are presented.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Edition details

• Publisher: Perennial
• Publication date: 1994
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0060922273
• ISBN 13: 9780060922276
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 288