Conversations that Get Results and Inspire Collaboration: Engage Your Team, Your Peers, and Your Manager to Take Action - Softcover

Hayashi, Shawn Kent .

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0071805931 ISBN 13: 9780071805933

Publisher: McGraw Hill, 2013

Synopsis

Achieve All Your Business Goals Using the Art of Conversation

“This book will increase your influence and success rate by the end of the first chapter.”
―Alan Weiss, PhD, author of Million Dollar Consulting and Getting Started in Consulting

What is the key to business success? COLLABORATION.

Executive coach and professional development expert Shawn Kent Hayashi provides everything you need to inspire, take part in, and manage the kinds of conversations that are the hallmark of true teamwork.

In Conversations That Get Results and Inspire Collaboration, Hayashi answers the questions she is most frequently asked during coaching and trainingsessions:

• What can I do to engage people collaboratively?
• How can I ensure I have a positive impact?
• How do I get my point across so that others hear me?
• How do I address the needs of my coworkers so we can move projects forward?
• What can I do to get conversations back on track when they threaten to veer out of control?

Featuring case studies illustrating best practices for engaging managers, peers, and employees to build momentum toward success, Conversations That Get Results and Inspire Collaboration gives you the tools to create theright conversation at the right time to achieve any business goal.

About this title

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Conversations That Get Results and Inspire Collaboration

Engage Your Team, Your Peers, and Your Manager to Take Action

By Shawn Kent Hayashi

The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

Copyright © 2013 Shawn Kent Hayashi
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-07-180593-3

Contents

Acknowledgments
Preface
PART 1 THE FOUNDATION FOR SUCCESSFUL COLLABORATION
Chapter 1 Knowing What You Want to Create
Chapter 2 People Reading: Preferred Communication Styles
Chapter 3 People Reading: Motivators
Chapter 4 People Reading: Emotional Intelligence
Chapter 5 Tying Together People Reading
PART 2 THE BUILDING BLOCKS FOR SUCCESSFUL COLLABORATIONS THAT GET 
RESULTS
Chapter 6 Deep Listening
Chapter 7 Relationship and Group Dynamics That Affect Collaboration
Chapter 8 Storytelling
Chapter 9 When Conflict Stops Progress: Creating More Effective 
Conversations
Chapter 10 Relationship Building
Chapter 11 Having the Necessary Conversations and Getting the 
Collaboration You
Appendix The Twelve Conversations and How to Use Them to Collaborate Book 
Discussion Guide
Index

Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

Knowing What You Want to Create

Business is a conversation focused on creating results.

Being successful in business begins in a conversation with ourselves first, andthen with others, focused on what we are passionate about creating, about thesolutions we want to bring alive, and the way we want to add value and serveothers. Successful professionals invite their teams, peers, and managers toalign their own individual goals and motivators to the rewards of the projectthey are engaged in. Wildly successful business leaders create conversationswith others by inspiring passion for the value and services they can deliverworking together.

Like most senior executives, Larry Page, the cofounder and CEO of Google, began2012 by sharing his goals for the company. He said, "Google is a large companynow, but we will achieve more, and do it faster, if we approach life with thepassion and soul of a start-up." He went on to outline six core areas of focusfor the upcoming year. If you worked for or with Google during that time, itwould be important that you understood these goals and how they affected whatyou were doing as an employee, team member, manager, leader, or even supplier.At Google, your ability to engage in conversations and demonstrate resultsaround these desired goals determines your success.

If you work for or with General Mills, you know that one of their most talked-about goals is to be among the most socially responsible food companies in theworld. General Mills says, "We continually set targets for bettering thenutritional profile of our foods, and we keep addressing social andenvironmental challenges." They made it clear that this is a conversation theywant to further, and people who are passionate about bettering the nutritionalprofile of food and who want to collaborate around this topic would be engagedworking with General Mills. To be successful in this organization, you have todemonstrate how your actions and results align with the company goals, no matterif you are a team member, peer, leader, or supplier.

Collaboration revolves around having meaningful conversations focused onachieving results with other people. Your role will determine what part you playin creating the vision. If you are the leader, you must clearly define and thencommunicate the outcomes you are committed to creating. If you report to aleader, understanding what the leadership team of the business you work for seesas important will enable you to link the business focus to your own goals inmeaningful ways. If you are a peer of someone who works in another department ordivision of the same company, it will be important for you to understand theresults other teams are expected to produce. Fully engaging leaders, peers, andteam members evolve as a result of having a shared purpose.

To have engaging, meaningful conversations with others, you'll need to know whatmotivates you and how you prefer to communicate. You will need to clarify yourown goals before you communicate them effectively to others. People who knowthemselves well focus on the question, "What do I want to create?"

As an executive coach, when I begin working with a new client I ask, "What doyou really want to create now? And why?" I also explain that, if you do not knowthe answer to those questions, you are likely to be working and living someoneelse's agenda for your career and life. Investing in yourself or paying yourselffirst is not a new idea in business—it is how wildly wealthy people andbusinesses became what they are. When you have a clear and compelling vision forwhat you want to create, you are investing in yourself and your future. Then youwill be able to make a greater contribution to a business or team, and be abetter leader.

I encourage my coaching clients to create their own "That's for Me!" lists. Hereis how you can do this too: Go to a place you enjoy, where you can relax andfeel great. Design on paper what you want your business and life to include andwho you want to be. Make a list of 100 experiences, things, opportunities, andconversations you want to have, and places you want to go. Include the ways inwhich you want to serve other people in your work. How do you want to add value?Also include the people you want to meet. Whom do you want to support, guide,and mentor? Identify the story you want to be known for, and put that on yourlist too. As you construct this list, you begin to own your agenda and gainclarity about what you want to create in your life and your work. By developingthis list over time, you begin to see what will motivate and inspire you, sothat you can be passionate about your work. Have you noticed that the people whoare star performers are usually passionate about their whole lives? That is whyI'm suggesting as your first assignment that you focus your "That's for Me!"list on your business and personal life, because successful people haveintegrated the two together.

Almost every time I give this exercise to people who have never done it before,they say something like, "I can't come up with 100. I have 20 and I'd be happywith those." To which I reply: "I asked you to identify at least 100, and youare making your life smaller. You are choosing a glass ceiling for yourself. Whywould you want to do that?" Push yourself through this activity, and you willsee amazing things begin to happen that you cannot imagine now. You will havemore clarity about what you want and what inspires you to take action.

As we work together over several months I frequently share this reminder: Onceyou have created your list, begin to read it regularly. Keep adding to it as youcome across things you are passionate about. Make sure all the results you wantto create in your business are on your list. Many of my coaching clients readtheir lists every day as they are learning to think in new ways and to focus onresults that align with their agendas. I read my own list at least once per weekto stay focused on the priorities that are most important to me. Amazing thingsbegin to happen when you focus on your goals and what you want to create.

Maintain your list in an electronic document. Once you have completed an item,move it to the end of the file under the heading "I did it!" By doing this,eventually you will have pages and pages of items on your "I did it!" list. Itis very fulfilling to review that list, as it shows momentum and the ability toget results.

When people look closely at their "That's for Me!" list, there is something thatwill jump out quickly: In order to accomplish many items on your list, you'lldiscover you have to engage other people. You will have to inspire others tojoin you in your endeavors. That is why we collaborate!

Engage Your Team, Your Peers, and Your Manager to Take Action

Why do you think your team, your peers, and your manager may want to help youachieve what is on your list? Most people have a desire to interact with othersand to cocreate. In the first part of this book, I will show you how to identifyand explain why helping you will benefit your peers, your manager, and yourteam, in language they will understand. I'll also show you how to buildrelationships and be engaging when you meet with new people, based on theircommunication styles and motivators.

Figuring out where to go next and what actions will create momentum comes frombuilding a strong mental muscle, which keeps you focused on clarifying anddistinguishing what you want to create next. Building your "That's for Me!" listover time gives you this focus and builds this mental muscle. Clarity about whomyou will want to collaborate with will guide you to build new relationships withstakeholders, allies, and sponsors. You'll need to understand how to read theircommunication styles and motivators and create meaningful conversations thatengage them. That is where we are going next. But first, take the time tocomplete the application exercise, and you will gain the benefits you wouldexperience from working with an executive coach.

Knowing What You Want to Create Application Exercise

Create your own "That's for Me!" list. Ask yourself, "What results, experiences,or accomplishments would trigger in me feelings of excitement, passion, andjubilation?"

Identify the goals of the business you work with, and consider how your passionsfit with the corporate focus.

Think about the various roles you currently play: employee, peer, manager, etc.For each role ask yourself these questions:

What are the results you are committed to already in this role?

With whom do you already collaborate in this role?

With whom would you like to collaborate?

Can you think of someone who would benefit from helping you bring alive theitems on your "That's for Me!" list?

CHAPTER 2

People Reading: Preferred Communication Styles

We read to comprehend the information we are focused on. When interacting withpeople, we need the skills to comprehend other people's frames of reference, howthey like to make decisions, how they prefer to respond to challenges, the paceof their environments, and the way they will respond to rules set by others. Wealso need to be able to see their motivators and the effects of their emotionsas they relate to what they want to listen to and what will engage them. I callthis "people reading."

To bring your "That's for Me!" list alive, you will need to identify who wouldenjoy creating with you and who will be willing to engage with you in ameaningful way. Getting others to focus on your desired results and take theright actions requires learning how to "people read," so you can select the bestbosses, colleagues, mentors, and team members for you. These are the people whowill encourage you to grow, based on your goals and vision for your life, andyou will do the same for them.

There are three parts to people reading:

Communication style: how you approach others

Motivators: why you do what you do

Emotional intelligence: your ability to use your feelings wisely to guide youractions and make better decisions

In this section, I am going to reveal what you need to know in order to be ableto people read anyone you meet. As you become a master of this skill, you willbe able to identify and develop other people's strengths and make your "That'sfor Me!" list come true, by collaborating effectively with the right people atthe right time.

Recently I was asked, "What is the number one most important skill that peopleneed to develop to be successful in business today?" I replied withouthesitating, "The ability to people read, so effective communication occurs nomatter what role we are playing."

When you have the ability to identify another person's preferred communicationstyle, workplace motivators, and current emotion, you will have betterconversations and be more effective. You will collaborate, lead, coach, manage,and serve in meaningful ways, by adapting to the communication needs of themoment. You will experience more effective communication and relationships thanyou have ever known before. Magic will happen around you, because you are makingconnections that matter.

Lee Iacocca says, "Communication is everything!" I would add that the rightcommunication that connects with your listener is everything.

People dynamics—interpersonal communication—has patterns similar todance moves. If you understand these patterns, you will be more effective indancing the steps effectively. If you do not understand these patterns, yourcommunication, like your dance movements, can seem disjointed and awkward,putting you at risk of doing the "cotton-eye Joe" when everyone else is dancingthe "dougie."

People reading includes seeing clusters of behaviors and motivators and usingthis awareness in the conversations you have with others. Understanding therange of behaviors and motivators will guide you to recognize what is likely toemerge in a relationship. People reading gives you the self-awareness to besensitive to the communication needs of others, so your message will reachthem—so they will understand you. For example, someone who likes to makedecisions quickly and forcefully will also probably like a strong, healthydebate—in other words, he or she will enjoy what people who do not like tomake quick decisions call arguing. On the other hand, someone who prefers toresearch a broad array of options, perhaps reading several books or articles onthe topic before making a decision, will probably not like a strong emotionalappeal in your presentation. When you have memorized the cluster patterns andhow they fit together, you will begin to see and then read these peopledynamics. As a team member, you will solve people problems in teams by fillingin the missing pieces. As a leader, you will put the right people in roles thatwill bring out their best selves and help you achieve the goals that are mostmeaningful to you.

As with any new skill, learning this one requires you to understand the modeland then practice, practice, practice until you master it. So let's begin withexploring the people-reading model. There are three parts. First, we will focuson identifying preferred communication styles, then in the next chapter I'llshow you how to identify motivators, and finally, you'll learn how to practiceusing your emotions as a guidance system.

Preferred Communication Styles

First, imagine that there are four common patterns in wiring a human brain thatresult in preferred conversation behavior and stories. Or you could think of itas four different windows people look out of as they communicate.

Each of the following represents a different communication window:

Direct, results-oriented, action-focused, and forceful conversations

Optimistic, fun, creative, entertaining, expressive, and lively conversations

Relaxed, patient, steady, and process-oriented conversations

Fact-based, accurate, logical, analytical, and detail-oriented conversations

Imagine these as communication windows that you look through as you interactwith others. Depending on which window you are looking out of, you are going tosee, experience, and want different things. When you have mastered this, youwill be able to select the communication window that you need at the moment inorder to achieve the best outcome, rather than doing what comes to you mostnaturally.

There is not one right way for us to behave or communicate, so there is not onestyle of communication that will be best in all situations. The goal is tounderstand these four patterns of brain-wiring. When you do, you will be able toidentify in a meeting or a conversation what the underlying conversation needsare for each person to be able to walk away from the exchange feeling thatthings are moving forward. When you identify the needs clearly, you can decidewhether you are the right person to provide that information, or if you would bebetter served by finding someone with a different communication style who canachieve the desired results.

Let's take this deeper now.

When looking to identify which communication style is being displayed, askyourself these two questions:

• Is the person (or group) I am communicating with more outgoing andextroverted, or more internal and introverted?

• Is the person (or group) I am communicating with more task-focused or morepeople-focused?

Outgoing or extroverted communicators tend to speak directly, loudly, withcrisp, sharp, or large circular gestures. They enjoy meeting and talking withpeople and will be proactive in meeting new people. Gregarious, animated, orbold are words that may be used to describe their behavior. They will jump inand start a conversation quickly, adding their own ideas, opinions, andsuggestions. Groups of meeting planners, sales teams, and advertising executivescommonly are outgoing communicators.

Internal or introverted communicators tend to speak softly, indirectly withsmall or no hand gestures. To people with another style they may appear timid orshy at first and tend to wait until they are introduced to engage inconversation. Diplomatic, reserved, and thoughtful are words that may be used todescribe their behavior. They will likely wait until someone else initiates aconversation, and then they will respond. Groups of research scientists,chemical engineers, and accountants commonly are introverted communicators.

Task-focused communicators may have checklists for everything. They are focusedon the current process and task at hand. People using a task focus will diveinto the work or business agenda immediately. They appear to want to check itemsoff the list and move onto the next item. They do not appear to want to engagein small talk until after the work is finished.

Here are examples of what this sounds like:

"Tally the five rows on this spreadsheet, then analyze which data we will use inour report."

"Read this report and summarize the three key points."

"Send me the process flow on this project plan."

People-focused communicators will be interested in the morale, energy, and bigpicture involved in the issue being discussed. Communicators who are using apeople focus will be more interested in getting to know you; small talk isimportant before diving into a meeting agenda or doing business.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Conversations That Get Results and Inspire Collaboration by Shawn Kent Hayashi. Copyright © 2013 by Shawn Kent Hayashi. Excerpted by permission of The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Edition details

• Publisher: McGraw Hill
• Publication date: 2013
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0071805931
• ISBN 13: 9780071805933
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 288