Mel Robbins has spent her career teaching people how to push past their self-imposed limits to get what they truly desire. She has an in-depth understanding of the psychological and social factors that repeatedly hold you back, and more important, a unique set of tools for getting you where you want to be.
In Stop Saying You're Fine, she draws on neuroscientific research, interviews with countless everyday people, and ideas she's tested in her own life to show what works and what doesn't. The key, she explains, is understanding how your own brain works against you. Because evolution has biased your mental gears against taking action, what you need are techniques to outsmart yourself.
That may sound impossible, but Mel has created a remarkably effective method to help you do just that--and some of her discoveries will astonish you. By ignoring how you feel and seizing small moments of rich possibility--a process she calls "leaning in"--you can make tiny course directions add up to huge change.
Among this book's other topics: how everything can depend on not hitting the "snooze" button; the science of connecting with other people, what children can teach us about getting things done; and why five seconds is the maximum time you should wait before acting on a great idea.
Blending warmth, humor and unflinching honesty with up-to-the-minute science and hard-earned wisdom, Stop Saying You're Fine moves beyond the platitudes and easy fixes offered in many self-help books. Mel's insights will actually help vault you to a better life, ensuring that the next time someone asks how you're doing, you can truthfully answer, "Absolutely great."
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Mel Robbins is one of the leading voices in personal development and transformation and a New York Times Bestselling author. Her work includes "The High 5 Habit," "The 5 Second Rule," four #1 bestselling audiobooks, the #1 podcast on Audible, as well as signature online courses that have changed the lives of more than half a million students worldwide.
Her groundbreaking work on behavior change has been translated into 36 languages and is used by healthcare professionals, veterans' organizations, and the world's leading brands to inspire people to be more confident, effective, and fulfilled.
As one of the most widely booked and followed public speakers in the world, Mel coaches more than 60 million people online every month and videos featuring her work have more than a billion views online, including her TEDx talk, which is one of the most popular of all time.
There's nothing Mel loves more than making a real difference in people's lives by teaching them to believe in themselves and inspiring them to take the actions that will change their lives. Mel lives in New England with her husband of 25 years and their three kids, but she is and will always be a Midwesterner at heart.
CHAPTER ONE
Stop Hitting the Snooze Button
Gain Power by Taking Action
There are some days when you just feel more powerful. You force yourself to get up early and break a sweat before everyone else wakes up. That sets the tone for the rest of your day. Your coffee tastes especially good, and the commute doesn't suck. At work, you go the extra mile on a project and come off looking like a hero. Afterward, you meet some friends whom you haven't seen in months, and have a couple of drinks on an outdoor deck in the cool summertime air. Someone hands you tickets he couldn't use. You embrace spontaneity and go see a great show. Afterward, you drive home by moonlight, have great sex, and drift off to sleep on a cloud.
We've all had days when we feel excited about our lives. We feel young, confident, and alive. Everything clicks. We feel like we're going somewhere, like we have momentum. We become more powerful versions of ourselves.
The powerful you is always there waiting and you can tap it anytime you want, if you know how. It's the part of you that loves discovery, curiosity, challenges, exercise, connecting with other people, checking off goals, taking action, heading somewhere, and talking out loud. It is a force inside you that wants to grow, move, and expand.
At the same time, there's an equal and opposite force that works inside you to hold you back. You were born with resistance. It's an inner, evolutionary bias to take the safe bet, the sure thing, the known path. Whenever you're feeling bored, bummed, or broken, resistance is winning in your life. Resistance loves surfing the Web, vegging out in front of the TV, sticking to routine, not picking up the phone, hitting snooze, avoiding confrontation, making excuses, rumination, and isolation.
Resistance will keep you in place; the powerful you will push you ahead. You will always feel tension between these two forces, between your current life and your desire for more. The direction you choose is entirely up to you. Every single day of your life, you have the choice to stay where you are or move your life in new directions. The question is, Will the powerful you awaken and start taking action, or will you wait just a little longer and delay the joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment you deserve?
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