Boundaries Face to Face: How to Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding - Hardcover

Henry Cloud; John Townsend

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0310221528 ISBN 13: 9780310221524

Publisher: Zondervan, 2003

Synopsis

A practical handbook on positive confrontation by the authors of the award-winning and best-selling Boundaries. Successful people confront well. They know that setting healthy boundaries improves relationships. They have discovered that uncomfortable---even dangerous---situations can often be avoided or resolved through direct conversation. But most of us don't know how to go about having difficult conversations. We see confrontation as scary or adversarial. We're afraid to ask a boss for a raise or talk to a relative about a drinking problem, or even address a relational conflict with a spouse or someone we are dating. In Boundaries Face to Face authors Cloud and Townsend take the principles from their best-selling book Boundaries and apply them to a variety of the most common difficult situations and relationships. * Explains why confrontation is essential in all arenas of life * Shows how healthy confrontation can improve relationships * Presents the essentials of a good boundary-setting conversation * Provides tips on how to prepare for the conversation * Shows how to tell people what you want, how to stop bad behavior, and how to deal with counterattack * Gives actual examples of conversations to have with your spouse, your date, your kids, your coworker, your boss, your parents, and more From the Book Sometimes people get confused in a confrontation because the other person gets them off track. If that happens, remember this formula. Empathize with their feelings or position, and return to your issue. Here's an example. Joe: 'I can't believe you were offended by my comments. You joke around more than anyone here. That's pretty hypocritical.' You: 'I understand it's hard for you to see, and I'm glad you meant it as a joke and weren't trying to be hurtful. What I'm telling you, though, and what I don't want you to miss, is how it affected me. It hurt me and I don't want to be talked to like that.'

About this title

About the Authors

Dr. Henry Cloud is a popular speaker, and co-host, with Dr. John Townsend, of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! Radio program, and cofounder of Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. His bestselling books include the Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries books and Making Small Groups Work. Dr. Cloud and his wife and two daughters live in Southern California. SPANISH BIO: El Dr. Henry Cloud es un conferenciante de gran popularidad. Con el Dr. John Townsend es anfitrion del programa de radio New Life Live!, ademas de ambos ser fundadores de la Clinica Cloud-Townsend y de la organizacion Cloud-Townsend Resources. Es el autor de varios libros premiados con el reconocimiento Medalla de Oro, entre ellos 'Limites' y 'El poder transformador de los grupos pequenos'. El Dr. Cloud, su esposa y sus dos hijas radican en el Sur de California.

Dr. John Townsend is a psychologist, popular speaker, and cohost of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! Radio program, and a cofounder of Cloud-Townsend clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. His best-selling books include the Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries. Website: www.drtownsend.com Blog: facebook.com/drjohntownsend SPANISH BIO: Dr. John Townsend -- El Dr. John Townsend es un popular conferencista y un famosisimo autor de exito de ventas. Es graduado de psicologia clinica en Rosemead Graduate School of Psychology de Biola University. Ademas es coautor de numerosos libros incluyendo el ganador de la Medalla de Oro Limites. el es coanfitrion del programa radial emitido a nivel nacional New Life Live!

From the Back Cover

A practical handbook on positive confrontation by the authors of the award-winning and best-selling Boundaries

Successful people confront well. They know that setting healthy boundaries improves relationships. They have discovered that uncomfortable even dangerous situations can often be avoided or resolved through direct conversation. But most of us don t know how to go about having difficult conversations. We see confrontation as scary or adversarial. We re afraid to ask a boss for a raise or talk to a relative about a drinking problem, or even address a relational conflict with a spouse or someone we are dating.

In Boundaries Face to Face authors Cloud and Townsend take the principles from their best-selling book Boundaries and apply them to a variety of the most common difficult situations and relationships.

Explains why confrontation is essential in all arenas of life Shows how healthy confrontation can improve relationships Presents the essentials of a good boundary-setting conversation Provides tips on how to prepare for the conversation Shows how to tell people what you want, how to stop bad behavior, and how to deal with counterattack Gives actual examples of conversations to have with your spouse, your date, your kids, your coworker, your boss, your parents, and more

From the Book

Sometimes people get confused in a confrontation because the other person gets them off track. If that happens, remember this formula.

Empathize with their feelings or position, and return to your issue.

Here s an example.

Joe: "I can t believe you were offended by my comments. You joke around more than anyone here. That s pretty hypocritical."

You: "I understand it s hard for you to see, and I m glad you meant it as a joke and weren t trying to be hurtful. What I m telling you, though, and what I don t want you to miss, is how it affected me. It hurt me and I don t want to be talked to like that."

Reviews

Drs. Cloud and Townsend, whose book "Boundaries" sold more than a million copies and won a Gold Medallion award, have established a Boundaries franchise with niche titles on boundaries in marriage, dating and parenting. This book continues the flourishing series, with advice on conflict resolution and cultivating mutual respect. "Successful people confront well," the authors observe, laying out tools for readers to stop simply avoiding conflict and start having productive, loving confrontations. Their advice for such conversations is familiar: listen actively; clarify the problem; affirm the other person; acknowledge your own part in the problem; and commit to being an agent for change. The second half of the book offers practical, hands-on advice for preparing for and having a difficult conversation, complete with specific suggestions of what to say--and what not to say. The Bible is used as a resource throughout, but not in a heavy-handed way, making this a valuable self-help manual for people from many walks of life.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Edition details

• Publisher: Zondervan
• Publication date: 2003
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0310221528
• ISBN 13: 9780310221524
• Binding: Hardcover
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 272