Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse - Softcover

Tracy, Steven R.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0310285291 ISBN 13: 9780310285298

Publisher: Zondervan, 2008

Synopsis

This book provides a well-researched biblical and scientific overview of abuse. A broad overview, it deals with the various types of abuse, the various effects of abuse, and the means of healing. Abuse can be sexual, physical, neglect, spiritual, and verbal. The chief arguments pursued throughout the book are: (1) abuse is far more rampant than most Christians realize, but due to human depravity and satanic influence, widespread abuse is predicable. (2) All types of abuse create profound, long-term soul damage due to the way abuse perverts various aspects of the image of God. (3) God is the healing redeemer. Human salvation came through horrible physical abuse. (4) Healing must take place in the context of relationships. Humans are deeply impacted by others due to being made in the image of God. Just as surely as abusive relationships have tremendous power to wound the soul, so healthy relationships have tremendous power to nurture and heal the soul. Questions answered in the book include: - How can a genuine believer abuse a child? - Why would someone abuse a child? - How can parents and childrens’ workers identify abusers? - How can abuse victims heal? - What does genuine healing look like? - Is anger appropriate or hurtful for abuse victims? - Where does forgiveness fit in? Helpful sample child protection policy, application, screening interview, and warning signs of potential abusers equip ministry leaders. Illustrations, case studies, and art therapy drawings.

About this title

About the Author

Steven R. Tracy is Professor of Theology and Ethics at Phoenix Seminary in Phoenix, Arizona. He graduated from Western Conservative Baptist Seminary (MDiv, ThM), and a received a PhD in New Testament from the University of Sheffield, England. He was a pastor for fifteen years and has extensive pastoral counseling experience. He and his wife Celestia, who is a family therapist, are the founders of Mending the Soul Ministries, a non-profit Christian organization that provides training, curriculum, and education on abuse prevention and healing. Dr. Tracy is the author of various articles on abuse and sexuality, serves on the Governor's Commission to Prevent Violence against Women for the State of Arizona, and serves on the Fatality Review Team for the City of Phoenix. A Mending the Soul workbook is available for individual or group use, and can be obtained at: www.mendingthesoulministries.org.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Mending the Soul Copyright 2005 by Steven R. Tracy Requests for information should be addressed to: Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Tracy, Steven R. Mending the Soul : understanding and healing abuse / Steven R. Tracy.---1st ed. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and indexes. ISBN 0-310-25971-1 (hardcover) 1. Sexually abused children---Pastoral counseling of. 2. Adult child sexual abuse victims---Pastoral counseling of. 3. Child sexual abuse---Religious aspects---Christianity. 4. Abused children---Pastoral counseling of. 5. Adult abuse victims---Pastoral counseling of. 6. Child abuse---Religious aspects---Christianity. I. Title. BV4464.3.T73 2005 259'.1---dc22 2004025695 ISBN-13: 978-0-310-25971-1 This edition printed on acid-free paper. All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the New American Standard Bible. Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. The website addresses mentioned in the endnotes are offered as a resource to you. These websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of Zondervan, nor do we vouch for their content for the life of this book. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means---electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other---except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher. Interior design by Tracey Walker Printed in the United States of America 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 /?DCI/ 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Stories and examples used in the book are based on actual events, but various details have been changed to preserve anonymity of the individuals involved. In several instances, stories are composites of two or more actual events. The information in this book should not be construed as professional or legal counsel. Readers are encouraged to consult legal and medical professionals with specific questions or concerns. The author and the publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects resulting from application of the information contained herein. chapter 1 a wake-up call regarding the extent and power of abuse Mary sobbed uncontrollably on the bathroom floor. Her mother stroked her hair and held her until she could finally speak. Mary's first day of high school had been a parent's worst nightmare. She had gotten into a fight with a classmate, had threatened the principal, and was on the verge of being expelled from school. Mary's parents, missionaries with a Christian organization in the inner city of San Francisco, were beside themselves. Ever since she entered adolescence, Mary had grown increasingly rebellious and withdrawn. The precocious little girl who wore fairy dresses and drew pictures of puppies now wore black and drew pictures of corpses. Mary attempted suicide twice in junior high. In fits of rage she would curse her parents for not aborting her before she was born. Her parents sought help from counselors, their youth pastor, and even the family doctor, but nothing seemed to help. It felt as though they were in a losing battle with an invisible demon that was consuming their daughter's very soul. Finally Mary began to speak to her mother in barely audible whispers. She told about a boy at school who had threatened her friend. As her mother began to question the depth of her rage at the boy, the long-invisible dragon began to take shape. Her cruel classmate had triggered dark memories she had spent years trying to escape. Finally she could no longer hold back the terrible images. She shamefully recounted that five years earlier, her cousin had sexually molested her over a period of two years while he was babysitting her. The molesting stopped once her family moved to San Francisco, but her cousin continued to make sexually suggestive comments whenever she came to visit. Mary's parents immediately contacted the authorities and the rest of the family. The authorities chose not to prosecute the case, since there was no physical evidence. The extended family turned on Mary and her parents with a vengeance. They accused Mary of trying to destroy the family by making up lies. They accused Mary's parents of using the cousin as a scapegoat for their poor parenting. They threatened to report Mary's parents to the mission board to get them removed from their ministry. Even when three other children came forward and reported that the cousin had fondled them, the entire extended family refused to believe or support Mary. They argued that if the cousin had done something inappropriate to Mary, it was in the past, and she was obligated to forgive and forget. To add insult to injury, they rebuked Mary for her anger toward her cousin and said it showed how sinful and unchristian she really was. Two years after disclosing the abuse, Mary still wasn't sure she could believe in a God who watched her cousin molest her but did nothing to stop it. I wish Mary's story were merely a hypothetical example. It is not. My ministry to Mary and her family has permanently transformed my understanding of abuse. It also raises troubling questions for all Christians: * How widespread is abuse? * How can abuse that happened years earlier continue to have an impact? * How can parents, youth workers, and single adults looking for life partners identify potential abusers? * How can abuse victims heal? * What does genuine healing look like? * Where does forgiveness fit in? These are some of the questions this book seeks to answer. For all too long the church has ignored or even covered up abuse. By God's grace this must change. Mending the Soul is divided into three parts. Part 1 addresses the nature of abuse. Here I will seek to give a biblical explanation for abuse, define exactly what constitutes abuse, and look at the characteristics of abusers and abusive families. I'll examine five different kinds of abuse, all of which distort the image of God and hence are very damaging. Part 2 explains the effects of abuse. Abuse victims and those who seek to minister to them must understand the way abuse impacts the soul before a plan for healing can be mapped out. All too often, well-meaning Christians spout Bible verses to cure very complex problems such as abuse. Scripture does give us a path to healing, but we cannot use Scripture properly until we have a keen grasp of the nature of abuse and the damage that needs to be healed.1 More specifically, I'll look at shame, deadness, powerlessness, and isolation as four of the most persistent and destructive effects of abuse. I will also relate these effects of abuse to our being made in the image of God, for it is only when we see abuse from the vantage point of our unique creation as divine image bearers that we can understand the soul damage created by abuse. Part 3 will provide a path to healing. I'll specifically discuss facing the brokenness caused by the abuse, coming alive from deadness and numbness, learning to love and trust God, and understanding the role and practice of forgiveness. This section will conclude with an epilogue written by a sexual abuse survivor, who shares how God helped her heal, and will also include her thoughts on how churches and Christian leaders can minister to the abused.

Edition details

• Publisher: Zondervan
• Publication date: 2008
• ISBN 10: 0310285291
• ISBN 13: 9780310285298
• Binding: Paperback
• Language: English
• Number of pages: 272