Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School - Hardcover

Greenwald, Rachel

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 034546625X ISBN 13: 9780345466259

Publisher: Ballantine Books, 2003

Synopsis

A Harvard MBA shares her revolutionary program for using marketing tactics to find a husband after age 35.

This is “Marriage 911”! For many single women over the age of 35, the rules for finding the right mate have changed. There are fewer eligible men and fewer opportunities to meet them. Now successful dating coach Rachel Greenwald shares her proven fifteen-step action program (simply referred to as “The Program”) based on the marketing tactics she learned at Harvard Business School. These innovative tactics will empower any woman to find a husband quickly and efficiently—and not just any husband: a wonderful husband.

In her bold, no-nonsense style, Greenwald tells women how to package their assets, develop a personal brand, leverage niche marketing, use direct mail and telemarketing to get the word out, establish a husband-hunting budget, and hold quarterly performance reviews to assess the results. She also shows women how to use these strategies in the new world of online dating and how to avoid common pitfalls. Greenwald’s fifteen steps form an incredibly unique and effective plan for a woman who wants to jumpstart her dating life and enrich her portfolio of potential husbands.

Learn the answers to the following questions: What are the unique dating issues for women after 35 and how do I handle them? What are the small decisions I make daily that have an impact on my chances of meeting men? What is the “Date/Sex Rule”? What is the one thing I should never say to a man on a first date?

About this title

About the Author

Rachel Greenwald has an MBA from Harvard Business School and a BA in psychology from Wellesley College. She has conducted seminars nationwide on “How to Find a Husband After 35” to sold out crowds, and has private clients all over the country. She is a featured guest on top-rated radio shows in major cities. She lives in Denver with her husband and children. This is her first book.

Reviews

It is difficult to say what exactly is "simple" in this step-by-step plan for finding a "wonderful man" in 12 to 18 months. It certainly is not the part where Greenwald instructs the participant to call every person she knows-from her doctor to her ex-boyfriend-and make known her commitment to finding a mate. However, this Harvard graduate maintains that her program works for most of her clients as long as all the steps are implemented faithfully. Although it can be time-consuming, financially taxing and sometimes nearly humiliating, this approach will achieve the desired results, the author says. Drawing upon her marketing expertise as well as her experience with clients, Greenwald teaches the reader to always put her best foot forward, be willing to compromise on her ideals in a man and take rejection in stride. The book takes a reactionary, conservative approach to dating: she emphasizes the importance of femininity and of letting the man make the first move; "men are usually more attracted to women in skirts than in pants... literally as well as figuratively." Exploring all the options available to singles, including online dating, singles events, community programs, even changing everyday habits (i.e., going to Starbucks instead of drinking coffee at home and shopping at the supermarket instead of the grocery store down the block), Greenwald covers all the bases and provides a thorough program for dedicated women who have made a priority of finding that special someone.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Introduction

Marketing 101

Why are you still single? It doesn’t matter.

The important question is not why are you still single, but what are you going to do about it? I have created a proven, proactive, assertive program that I simply call “The Program.” It will help you find a husband. The Program uses powerful marketing tactics that I learned at Harvard Business School, in my professional marketing career, and in coaching single women just like you. It will jump-start your dating life and get you married.

If you’re reading this book, you are probably between the ages of 35 and 105 and looking to get married for the first time, or maybe the fourth time. You probably have experienced waves of resignation, thinking that you will never find a wonderful mate. You may be divorced or widowed, or never married after spending time on your career or with the wrong boyfriend. Maybe you’ve had weight issues or you’ve been distracted by a sick parent. Maybe you’re shy and have trouble meeting men. It makes no difference how you got here: You’re single and ready to make a change.

What this book is not is an analysis of all that has gone wrong in your life, who’s to blame, or why society is the way it is. You’ll see zero quotes from famous psychiatrists, sociologists, priests, or rabbis about the plight of the single modern female.

Women frequently ask me how to change their patterns of the past. They spend too much time on the job, they are attracted to the wrong types of men, they can’t get over a lost love, their dates don’t turn into committed relationships, their committed relationships always fizzle, or a dozen other common patterns. These are areas that The Program does not address in its 15 Steps. The Program is about action and moving forward: It will help you find a husband, but it assumes that at your stage in life, you have a pretty good idea about why you’re still single.

For some of you, being single has been by choice. You are fundamentally happy except for the frustration you feel about not having met a great partner. You’ve had other priorities and you have a full life with your friends, family, activities, and career. You have been too busy to focus on getting married. If you are reading this book now, perhaps you’re ready to shift your focus.

For others of you, being single has not been by choice for any number of reasons. To understand those reasons, you may have tried therapy, read self-help books, or had friends and family counsel you on your issues. Hopefully, you are now enlightened and ready to break out of any damaging patterns. You want action, not more psychoanalysis.

Of course, you don’t want to find just any husband. You probably could have done that by now. You want a wonderful husband, whatever that means to you individually. This is understood throughout The Program. When I say that these tactics will help find your husband, know that I mean “your wonderful husband.”

And those wonderful husbands are out there. Every time I go to a new city to teach my seminar “Find a Husband After 35,” the seminar registration operator inevitably calls me in advance to ask, “Do you allow men in your class? We’ve had so many calls from men who want to attend your seminar.” I’ve called back many of those men, and I can promise you they’re not looking to “hit on” the single women in my class. They genuinely want to learn how to find a wife. Some are shy, some are busy with their jobs, some are busy with single parenting, and most just don’t know where the wonderful single women are. These men are lonely and out there looking for love, too. You’re going to learn how to find them in this book.

The Program allows you to take matters into your own hands with 15 action steps. It is designed for women later in life with unique challenges, such as fewer eligible men and more insular lifestyles.

Let me be clear. This is not a program for the uncommitted. At times, you will feel this plan requires too much effort and is too contrived. But reading this book is like dialing “Marriage 911”: It’s an emergency. And you do what you have to do. You’re lonely, maybe your biological clock is ticking, and you want a loving husband more than anything else. If you were searching for a job, you would devote enormous time and effort to finding the right one. Finding the right husband is certainly more important than a job, since hopefully the husband will be with you for a lifetime. If you wanted to lose weight, you’d abide by the required sacrifices and rules. The Program is like a combination job search and strict diet: There are commitments, sacrifices, and rules involved.

What is The Program?

Throughout this book I will frequently refer to “The Program.” The Program is a simple 15-Step action program to help you find a husband that uses marketing tactics I learned at Harvard Business School and honed in my professional marketing career. You, the reader, are the “product,” and The Program is a “strategic plan” to help you “market” yourself to find your future husband.

When you first hear the words product, strategic plan, and marketing applied to you and your dating efforts, perhaps you will bristle. This is normal. You are learning about a radical new approach. I assure you that The Program will be an empowering experience for you. It will allow you to take control of your unmarried situation and learn how you can do something smart and effective to change it.

You may recognize some tactics in this book that you’ve already put into practice. But my guess is that you’ve been doing only a few of these things, and doing them sporadically. Most of the dating activities that women initiate lack focus and coordination. They pull in different directions and don’t produce the desired result. The trick is pulling them all together into a comprehensive and systematic strategic program. This is key. Just as in an orchestra, you may have violins and flutes playing, but until a conductor comes along and brings all the instrument sections together, the music doesn’t deliver impact.

There are several tried-and-true methods by which 35+ singles meet each other today: fix-ups, organized activities, parties, “chance” meetings, and many kinds of dating services. While several of the 15 Steps advocate these familiar methods, what you’ll find in The Program is an abundance of new and creative tactics to make them effective for you. I don’t want to change you, I want to change what you do.

There are many tactics in this book that are just plain common sense. But I don’t assume that you have necessarily been practicing them. In any case, what you’ve been doing so far hasn’t worked, so what have you got to lose? Read on.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN

You will learn a whole new approach to looking for a husband. Your mind-set will change as you practice The Program Thinking Method in Step #1 and start looking at the world through Program lenses. You will start to see the problem of finding a husband through the eyes of a marketer: a problem that can be solved with creative solutions. You will understand why the scene changes after 35 and why you need to cast a wider net as you search for Mr. Right. When you’ve finished this book, you will be able to devise and advertise your personal brand, know how to get out of your rut, be able to create a winning plan to increase the volume of men you meet, conduct an exit interview, and much more. So stop obsessing about being single, and let’s do something about it!

WHO MOVED MY ALTAR?

It really is different looking for a husband after 35. It’s as though someone moved your altar: You weren’t supposed to be standing here. Maybe you are part of the group of women whom I call the “Lost Cinderella Generation.” You broke the glass ceiling, but broke your glass slipper along with it. There are six major differences to take into account now:

1.Urgency: If you’re over 35 and looking to get married, you probably have a great sense of urgency. Your biological clock is ticking if you want children. Your friends and family are hounding you with: “Why aren’t you married yet?” And you’re sick to death of floating single in a sea of married couples. If you’re divorced or widowed, you have other urgent issues, too: the stress of being a single parent or the burden of loneliness after years of having a partner. Urgent matters require action. You can’t sit around, feel sorry for yourself, or wait until fate knocks on your door. You need to take matters into your own hands quickly and efficiently, using the proven search tactics from The Program. The tactics in this book are probably very different from the ones you used in your 20’s.

2.Fewer single men: It’s a math equation that’s hard to grasp. There should be roughly an equal number of single men after 35 as there are women, right? Wrong. There are 28 million single women over 35, but only 18 million single men over 35 (U.S. Census, 2000)! The difference is due to a number of factors, including the fact that many men marry younger women. You must accept the reality you’re given and figure out how best to address it. This means no more narrow criteria about what kind of man you’re looking for. Accept the possibility that your future husband may have many wonderful qualities, but they may come in a different package than you’ve imagined. He may be divorced, he may have kids of his own, he may be shorter than you, or he may work in a profession completely ...

Edition details

• Publisher: Ballantine Books
• Publication date: 2003
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 034546625X
• ISBN 13: 9780345466259
• Binding: Hardcover
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 322