How to Really Stink at Work: A Guide to Making Yourself Fire-Proof While Having the Most Fun Possible - Hardcover

Jeff Foxworthy; Brian Hartt

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0345502809 ISBN 13: 9780345502803

Publisher: Villard, 2009

Synopsis

New York Times bestselling humorist Jeff Foxworthy offers a hilarious illustrated guide to having the most fun possible at work while doing the least—without getting fired

The better you are at your job, the longer your hours are going to be. And how many people on their deathbeds say “I wish I had spent more time at the office?” With that in mind, Jeff Foxworthy asks you to embrace the fact that you do stink at work (or secretly want to).

How to Really Stink at Work will help you relieve yourself of all that responsibility and accountability—in sections like:

• “Becoming Unfireable” (Get your boss drunk and record it)

• “AvoidingWork”(When all else fails—that fire alarm’s not there for nothing!)

• “Alienating Colleagues” (Nothing says “stay away from that guy” like a grossly inappropriate secret Santa gift)

Filled with laugh-out-loud illustrations, How to Really Stink at Work is the funniest guide to not-getting-ahead you’ll ever read.

About this title

About the Author

JEFF FOXWORTHY is the largest selling comedy recording artist in history, a multiple Grammy Award nominee, and the bestselling author of more than twenty books. He is the host of the hit Fox television show Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?. His syndicated weekly radio show The Foxworthy Countdown is carried in more than 220 markets across the United States. He lives with his wife and two daughters in Atlanta, Georgia.

BRIAN HARTT is a veteran writer and producer of hit comedies including Kids in the Hall, Mad TV, and The Jamie Kennedy Experiment. He also worked with Jeff on Blue Collar TV. He lives in Los Angeles, California, with his wife and two children.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Preface


Perhaps you find the title of this book puzzling. Why on earth would anyone want to stink at his or her job? Think about it: We all stink at something, and I would much rather it be my job than sports or sex.

 The opposite of stinking at your job is being really good at it, and that is where the trouble begins. Being really good at your job probably means you’ll be promoted, which means increased responsibility. Are you going to let a bigger salary bribe you into being responsible? 

I didn’t think so!

 Besides, increased responsibility means longer hours. Shouldn’t you want to work less? Isn’t that what life is all about? After all, nobody on their deathbed says, “I wish I had spentmore time at the office.”

 Holding an important job means being accountable to management and possibly even stockholders. Who can have any fun with that kind of anvil hanging over your head? 

If you follow our simple guidelines, you will probably never make very much money and you’ll greatly disappoint your parents and spouse, but you’ll also eliminate a ton of workrelated stress, which means you’ll live a very long time without very much money. The semi-rotten apple is yours for the taking.

The Job Interview


Before you can stink at your job, you have to secure a job. This process usually begins with the job interview. This is very important! Try to appear as normal and grounded as possible, at least for the interview. Smile a lot. You’re trying to sell a product. As you prepare your résumé, let the sky be the limit. Why waste years and a fortune actually getting a PhD at Harvard when you can just say you did? Employers like to hire people who have experience in their chosen field, so tell them what they want to hear. Just get the job. To make yourself even more attractive as a potential employee, it is wise to “spice up” the personal/special skills part of your résumé. 

Claim to have served in the Peace Corps, say you can drive an excavator and, incidentally, that you climbed Mount Kilimanjaro (twice). . . . Sounds good, right? Very impressive? 

Don’t stop now–you’re on a roll! 

Tell them you have a black belt, play classical violin, and can speak four languages. Name it and claim it! They will be excited about having you on board . . . for now.

TIP: Do a good job of selling yourself, but try not to go too far. Telling the company that if they don’t hire you they’re stupid may backfire. 

Edition details

• Publisher: Villard
• Publication date: 2009
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0345502809
• ISBN 13: 9780345502803
• Binding: Hardcover
• Illustrator: Layron DeJarnette
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 160