What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws - Hardcover

Apter, Terri

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0393066975 ISBN 13: 9780393066975

Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company, 2009

Synopsis

Breaking new ground in family psychology, an exploration of the intricacy, friction, and love in the bonds between in-laws.

When we marry, we believe the bond is between only two individuals. Few of us realize the power that inlaws will exert over our lives. But the in-laws we acquire when we marry affect our quality of life―our marriage, family, personal comfort, and long-term well-being―for better or worse. What Do You Want From Me? takes a fresh look at the age-old problem of managing conflict with in-laws, offering practical help for dealing with problems that are both immediate (“How do I deal with my in-laws now?”) and strategic (“How can I change the nature of my in-laws’ demands?”). Terri Apter, a psychologist whose books on family dynamics have received international acclaim, draws on nearly two decades of psychological research to pinpoint the sources of tension between in-laws and explore the ways in which we can build healthy relationships with the in-laws in our lives.

About this title

About the Author

Terri Apter is a writer, psychologist, and retired Fellow of Newnham College, Cambridge. Her ten books include The Sister Knot, Difficult Mothers, and What Do You Want from Me? She lives in Cambridge, England.

Reviews

Though it's often said that you don't just marry a person, you marry their family too, these complex relationships are often reduced to mother-in-law jokes and cruel stereotypes. Apter, a writer, psychologist and Cambridge University fellow, explores the mysteries and conflicts that come with the in-laws, including mother, father, sister and brother. Offering compelling insights into the power these relationships over a marriage, and the well being of both partners, Apter bases her report on interviews with 150 volunteers, in both the U.K. and the U.S. With professional grace, Apter exposes the emotional minefields that couples often navigate around in-laws, and the ease with which they become stuck in negative (and familiar) attitudes toward them. Apter moves beyond convenient labels, for example readdressing the idea of a mama's boy and what he can mean for a new wife, and convincingly demonstrating why women bear the brunt of the tension from both sides of the family. Self-help-standard questionnaires, exercises and coping methods-mostly practical-are also included in each chapter, giving readers knowledge and skills to relate more openly with the loved one's less-than-loveable family.
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Edition details

• Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
• Publication date: 2009
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0393066975
• ISBN 13: 9780393066975
• Binding: Hardcover
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 288