The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It - Hardcover

Neuman, M. Gary

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0470114630 ISBN 13: 9780470114636

Publisher: Trade Paper Press, 2008

Synopsis

The New York Times bestselling look at the real reasons for male marital infidelity and what might prevent it

Few events cause as much turmoil in a marriage as infidelity. It can shatter trust and breed insecurity and resentment from which some relationships never recover. People who think it won't happen to them are hit that much harder when it does. Why are men unfaithful? Can infidelity be prevented? What do men say they're getting from their mistresses that they're missing at home? Do a man's friends have anything to do with his willingness to cheat?

In this New York Times bestselling book, experienced family counselor M. Gary Neuman shares the revealing and surprising findings of a cutting-edge research study in which he interviewed men across the country who have physically cheated on their wives. Neuman shares many shocking discoveries, including the prominent role of emotional dissatisfaction in motivating husbands who stray and how small a role sexual dissatisfaction plays.

• Based on a groundbreaking study of both cheating men and men who have remained faithful
• Reveals surprising findings on the contribution of sexual and emotional dissatisfaction to male infidelity
• Written by experienced family counselor M. Gary Neuman, coauthor of In Good Times and Bad and author of Emotional Infidelity
• Neuman and The Truth about Cheating were featured twice on The Oprah Winfrey Show

Drawing on dramatic case stories of the author's own work with clients, The Truth about Cheating includes proactive strategies and action steps for married women to help them prevent infidelity and create a faithful and rewarding marriage.

About this title

About the Author

M. GARY NEUMAN is a licensed family counselor and rabbi and the author of Emotional Infidelity and Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way. A frequent guest on Oprah, he has also appeared multiple times on Today, The View, and NPR. He and his work have been featured in People, Time, Parents, and other major publications. He is the creator of 2 x 2 Intensive, an innovative all-day approach to couples therapy. He maintains a private practice in Miami Beach where he lives with his wife and five children.
Visit his Web site at www.mgaryneuman.com.

From the Back Cover

The surprising findings from a groundbreaking study on cheating husbands

It's not all about sex, he's not just a pig, she's not prettier than you, and he really does feel terrible about what he's done. So why do men do it? In The Truth about Cheating, M. Gary Neuman shares the findings of his extensive research with unfaithful husbands that turn the conventional wisdom about extramarital affairs on its head. He reveals the emotional roots of male infidelity, explains how men experience and express their emotions differently from women, and lays out a simple series of actions you can take to ensure that your husband never strays. These steps help you build a deeper and more intimate relationship and a stronger, happier marriage that is more supportive and rewarding for both of you. Don't sit there wondering if your husband will ever cheat on you. Read The Truth about Cheating and make sure he won't.

Praise for Emotional Infidelity

"An important addition to the marriage manual genre, complete with an unusually helpful section on in-law relationships. . . . Marriage manuals are always in demand in bookstores and hot topics for talk shows. This one offers a unique (and possibly controversial) viewpoint as well as an experienced and engaging author."
—Publishers Weekly

Praise for Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way

"Thorough. . . . Highly recommended for all parenting shelves."
—Library Journal

From the Inside Flap

Why are men unfaithful? Do they stray because of sexual dissatisfaction in their marriage or is cheating a sign of a deeper problem? What are the chances that your husband will cheat? Is there anything that can be done to ensure that your husband will stay faithful?

While several books have explored the feelings and experiences of women whose husbands have been unfaithful, they have generally ignored the questions of why men cheat and what a wife can do to prevent her marriage from being destroyed by infidelity. In The Truth about Cheating, the renowned family counselor M. Gary Neuman presents fascinating and provocative answers to these vital questions.

As Neuman reveals the surprising results of his extensive research with cheating husbands and faithful husbands, he challenges the conventional wisdom and offers keen insights into the real motivations of straying husbands. Among the biggest surprises Neuman discovered during his research is that sexual dissatisfaction plays a relatively minor role in the decision to cheat. Filled with dramatic and enlightening stories based on Neuman's extensive interviews with his subjects, The Truth about Cheating takes you straight to the emotional core of male infidelity.

Once you begin to understand the often unexpressed but deeply felt emotional needs that most men have in common, Neuman takes you to the next step—what to do to prevent cheating. He provides concise focus points, action steps, and exercises that will help you reduce the chances of infidelity in your marriage and create a more meaningful and intimate relationship with your husband.

You'll also find out how to tell whether your husband is cheating: how to listen for the warning bells, pick up on cheating signals, and read the signs that tell you when he's lying. You'll discover the strongest defense against cheating—connecting with your husband emotionally in ways that are meaningful to him—and learn to encourage him to do the same for you.

If you believe that your husband may be unfaithful, you're not being paranoid and it's not your fault. But you can prevent him from straying if he hasn't already done so and put a stop to it if he has. Read The Truth about Cheating and start making your marriage stronger today.

Reviews

Neuman (Emotional Infidelity) attempts to arm wives with the tools to prevent their husbands from cheating by drawing upon questionnaires and interviews with 100 men who reported sexual affairs. According to the author's research, sexual dissatisfaction within their marriages rated fourth and emotional dissatisfaction first as reasons given for straying. Neuman notes that only 12% of cheating men said that the mistress was more physically attractive than their wives, thereby reinforcing findings that men were missing an emotional connection in their marriages (whether this is intended to serve as comfort to their wives is unclear). Neuman introduces The Innervoice Recognition Formula and Quick Action Program, challenging women to revise assumptions about marriage, make immediate behavioral changes and forge new bonds with their husbands, thereby deterring future dalliances. While some wives might find this book helpful, it is perhaps more likely that readers will wish that the author had devoted more time to holding the cheating husband responsible for his actions rather than putting the onus on wives to take preventive—and dubiously effective—measures. (Sept.)
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Edition details

• Publisher: Trade Paper Press
• Publication date: 2008
• ISBN 10: 0470114630
• ISBN 13: 9780470114636
• Binding: Hardcover
• Language: English
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 240