Miss Manners' Basic Training: The Right Thing to Say - Hardcover

Martin, Judith

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0609600516 ISBN 13: 9780609600511

Publisher: Crown, 1998

Synopsis

Miss Manners hereby declares that "You look terrific -- did you have a facelift?" is not an acceptable compliment. For this and the other myriad rudeness that nowadays pass for consolation, congratulation and other forms of verbal communication, Miss Manners provides politely pointed comebacks, as well as the gracious and proper thing to say in any situation.

Miss Manners feels compelled to do so because saying the wrong thing -- whether in the name of originality, self-expression, honesty or instant empathy -- has become all too common:

To a Bereaved Person:
"You must realize it's all for the best."

To a Newly Engaged Person:
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

To a Pregnant Woman:
"You can still do something about it, you know."

The Right Thing to Say is a refresher course in etiquette as a second language, filled with the practical advice and sly humor that make Miss Manners such "good wicked fun, and helpful too" (Cosmopolitan). Including useful phrases for dealing with life's special occasions and mishaps, The Right Thing to Say explores the subtleties of saying "no," conducting a conversation without causing offense and the art of the apology when you do anyway.

About this title

About the Author

Judith Martin is the author of numerous books, including the best-selling Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. Her thrice-weekly syndicated column appears in more than two hundred North American newspapers. She lives in Washington D.C.

From Booklist

The conceit of "basic training" --Martin has previously put out books on eating and electronic communication under that boot-camp heading--indicates how far she believes manners have fallen. The culpable trend in conversational manners, her topic here, is the tendency for the etiquette-challenged to emote, to be honest, to be original. Where once one answered the pleasantry, "How are you?" with, "Fine, thank-you," modern custom threatens the inquirer with a soul-baring soliloquy on the interrogatee's exact state of mind. Miss Manners deplores this. She prefers euphemism and conventional phrases, and in this, as in her previous books, she issues rulings in response to letters she receives. The gaffes and embarrassments her correspondents record are entirely avoidable, Miss Manners assures them, if only they would keep a few rules in mind: say every baby is beautiful, confine commiseration to an "I'm so sorry," say no nicely, and don't talk about politics, religion, and grandmother's failing health. Like an interpreter in a foreign country, she even provides the phrase book, in the form of boldface replies to conceal the bold-faced lies that we need in order to extricate ourselves from potential crises. To a friend who is marrying an unsuitable partner, "Congratulations," not "Don't do it!" is the right thing to say. Martin is an amusingly sardonic arbiter, and her manual should be popular. Gilbert Taylor

Edition details

• Publisher: Crown
• Publication date: 1998
• ISBN 10: 0609600516
• ISBN 13: 9780609600511
• Binding: Hardcover
• Language: English
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 192