Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most - Hardcover

Patton, Bruce; Stone, Douglas; Heen, Sheila

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0670883395 ISBN 13: 9780670883394

Publisher: Viking Adult, 1999

Synopsis

Helps readers work gracefully and effectively through such confrontational situations as ending relationships and asking for a raise, identifying key adjustments necessary to the dialogue process. 60,000 first printing. Tour.

About this title

About the Authors

Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen teach at Harvard Law School and the Harvard Negotiation Project. They have been consultants to businesspeople, governments, organizations, communities, and individuals around the world, and have written on negotiation and communication in publications ranging from the New York Times to Parents magazine. Bruce Patton is also a co-author of Getting to Yes. Each of them lives in Boston, Massachusetts.

Sheila Heen is a Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School. She lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Reviews

Bringing together the insights of such diverse disciplines as law, organizational behavior, cognitive, family and social psychology and "dialogue" studies, Stone, Patton and Heen, who teach at Harvard Law School and the Harvard Negotiation Project, illustrate how to handle the challenges involved in effectively resolving "difficult conversations," whether in an interpersonal, business or political context. While many of their points are simplisticAdon't ignore your feelings, consider the other person's intentions, take a break from the situationAthey're often overlooked in stressful moments. Most useful are the strategies for disarming the impulse to lay blame and for exploring one's own contribution to a tense situation. Also of value are specific recommendations for bringing emotions directly into a difficult discussion by talking about them and paying attention to the way they can subtly inform judgments and accusations. If these recommendations aren't followed, the authors contend, emotions will seep into the discussion in other, usually damaging, ways. Stone, Patton and Heen illustrate their points with anecdotes, scripted conversations and familiar examples in a clear, easy-to-browse format. While "difficult conversations" may not have the intrinsic appeal of the Harvard Negotiation Project's previous bestseller, Getting to Yes, this book is a cogent resource for those who see the sense in preparing for tough talks in advance. Agent, Esther Newberg. Ad/promo; author tour. (Apr.) FYI: Patton is the co-author of Getting to Yes.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Stone and his coauthors, teachers at Harvard Law School and the Harvard Negotiation Project, present an informative, practical guide to the art of handling difficult conversationsAe.g., firing an employee, ending a relationship, or discussing marital conflicts. The information is based on 15 years of research and thousands of personal interviews. The authors define a difficult conversation as "anything you find it hard to talk about." Each chapter recommends step-by-step techniques that can lead to a more constructive approach for dealing with distressing interactions, so that a difficult conversation can become a learning conversation. Examples of right and wrong conversations from everyday life are used throughout the book, which is extremely well organized and easy to follow. This will be appreciated by readers who wish to improve oral communication in all aspects of their daily lives. Recommended for self-help collections in public and academic libraries.AElizabeth Goeters, Georgia Perimeter Coll., Dunwoody
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

This latest how-to from the Harvard Negotiation Project may not spend as long on best-seller lists as Getting to YES (1992), but it will appeal to readers who've endured hostile, annoying, and utterly unproductive talks with family members, bosses, coworkers, neighbors, and acquaintances. The authors' central insight is that tough conversations are difficult because they blend three layers: each party's version of "what happened"; each party's feelings; and the identity issues the subject raises for each party. By sorting out these three layers and adopting a curious, "learning" approach, one can take on sensitive subjects while strengthening rather than threatening long-term relationships. The authors draw on their background in negotiation, mediation, and law but also on "organizational behavior; cognitive, client-centered, and family therapies; social psychology; communication theory; and the growing body of work around the idea of `dialogue.'" These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice--advice selected by both The Literary Guild and the Doubleday Book Club for their readers. Expect requests. Mary Carroll

Edition details

• Publisher: Viking Adult
• Publication date: 1999
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0670883395
• ISBN 13: 9780670883394
• Binding: Hardcover
• Number of pages: 256