You're Officially a Grown-up: The Graduate's Guide to Freedom, Responsibility, Happiness, and Personal Hygiene - Hardcover

Viorst, Judith

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0684853426 ISBN 13: 9780684853420

Publisher: Simon & Schuster, 1999

Synopsis

The best-selling author of Forever Fifty presents a humorous guide to growing up, offering tongue-in-cheek advice on how to cope with the joys and anxieties of leaving home and trying to make one's own way in the world. 125,000 first printing.

About this title

About the Author

Judith Viorst was born and brought up in New Jersey, graduated from Rutgers University, moved to Greenwich Village, and has lived in Washington, D.C., since 1960, when she married Milton Viorst, a political writer. They have three sons and seven grandchildren. Viorst writes in many different areas: science books, children's picture books, adult fiction and non-fiction, poetry for children and adults, and three musicals, which are still performed on stages around the country. She is best known for her beloved picture book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

You're Officially A Grown-Up

You're going.
You're leaving.
You're out on your own.
If your buttons fall off
And you must have them sewn,
You must sew them yourself.
You're officially a grown-up. You'll balance your checkbook,
Remember to vote.
You will write your Aunt Frances
A prompt thank-you note,
And take out the garbage
And sweep up inside --
Or not. From now on
It is you who'll decide
What you will and won't do.
You're officially a grown-up,
Which means you can sleep
On the same grubby sheet
From September to June,
Eat whatever you eat
Without someone saying,
"You call that a meal?"
(Or, if you don't eat,
Asking, "How do you feel?"
As if you are catching
Some fatal disease).
You can do as you please.
You're officially a grown-up.
You can do as you please, but please keep in mind
That if you don't water your daisies you'll find
That you're likely to wind up with a lot of dead flowers.
You can do as you please, but please be aware
That people who don't change their underwear
May be lonelier people than those who take regular showers.
You can stay up all night.
You can snooze the whole day
As long as you've figured out
How you will pay
For the stuff that you need.
You're officially a grown-up.
You can hang by your toe
Off a ninety-foot drop,
Because nobody's standing there
Hollering, "Stop!"
And you needn't show up,
And you needn't call in,
Because nobody's wondering
Where you have been.
(Don't they care where you've been?)
You're officially a grown-up, Which means you should have
All the answers. (You won't.)
And always know what
You are doing. (You don't.)
And never behave like
A wimp or an ass.
(You will, but the shame
Does eventually pass.)
Are you worried? Confused?
You're officially a grown-up.
And you're going.
You're leaving...
Or maybe you'll stay
One more week, one more month,
Or perhaps till next May.
What's the rush? Just because
You're officially a grown-up?
Yes, what is the rush?
You've got room, you've got board,
And no charge for the phone,
And the keys to the Ford,
A deck you can tan on,
A big-screen TV,
And that soft teddy bear
You have owned since age three.
(But you aren't age three.
You're officially a grown-up),
Which means that although
It is scary outside,
You're ready to muster
Your courage and pride,
To hold up your head,
Boldly stick out your chin,
And -- fall fiat on your face
And come up with a grin,
Determined and dauntless
(And shaky, you say?
You'll move on, anyway).
You're officially a grown-up.
And no matter how shrewdly your plans are made,
It sometimes will rain on your parade,
And you'll have to slog through the rain,
Though you hadn't planned to.
And adorable creature though you may be,
You won't be everyone's cup of tea,
For not everyone you meet is going to
Love you,
Or like you,
Or want to understand you.
Still, you're going.
You're leaving.
You're ready to take
On your future.
This could be a major mistake.
So you'll make a mistake.
You're officially a grown-up.
You'll try on this hat.
And you'll try on that role.
And you'll learn what you can
And can never control.
You'll bail yourself out
If you get in a jam.
You'll, when asked who's in charge
Of your life, say, "I am."
And you are. Yes, you are.
You're officially a grown-up,
Which means you can still
Call for help when you're stuck.
You can count on good friends.
You can hope for good luck.
And you might cross your fingers.
You might say a prayer.
But it's you -- mostly you --
Who will get yourself where
You'll, sooner or later, decide
That you're trying to get. Will you get there? You bet!
You're officially a grown-up.

About this edition

• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Publication date: 1999
• ISBN 10: 0684853426
• ISBN 13: 9780684853420
• Binding: Hardcover
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 48