A linguist explains why we understand and misunderstand one another in everyday conversation and provides practical guidance in improving communication in personal relationships and on the job
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Actually, this title caught my eye because it sounds like something I might say. Sometimes I
will make a totally outrageous comment in such a matter-of-fact way that people are completely
taken aback; other times my tone will convey a harshness I absolutely didn't intend, which can
lead to hurt feelings and frustration all around. And though at times I can shrug it off and say
that the world simply isn't ready for my sense of humor, I also had been increasingly aware of
the need to refine my communication style. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! has definitely helped me
begin to assess how I can better do that. It has shown me how I use unclear language to protect
myself and offers simple, straightforward alternatives so that I can get my point across more
effectively. It's also very enlightening in its explanations of why I find myself reacting
negatively to the subtleties of others' speech. A fascinating, invaluable tool.
Laurie Kahn, Associate Managing Editor
, all of us, foreigners to each other: editor and writer, man and woman, Californian and New Yorker, friend and friend. Dr. Tannen shows us how different we are, and how to speak the same language."
Jack Rosenthal
Pultizer Prize winner and editor
THE NEW YORK TIMES
Deborah Tannen, who revolutionaized our thinking about relationships between women and men in her bestsller YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, shows that conversational confusion between the sexes is only part of the picture. In THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!, Dr. Tannen shows that growing up in different parts of the country, having different ethnic and class backgrounds, even age and indvidual personality, all contribute to different conversational styles. Entertaining and informative, this is an essential complement to psychological theories of human behavior. No one who has read Deborah Tannen's fascinating look at women and men will want to miss a word of it!
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