Staying Married...and Loving It!: How To Get What You Want From Your Man Without Asking - Hardcover

Allen, Pat; Cavoline, Jane

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0688052916 ISBN 13: 9780688052911

Publisher: William Morrow, 1997

Synopsis

Marriage is not an end--it's a beginning. Yet, despite commitment, care, and communication, a marriage will sometimes falter. When it does, the good news is that it can be made wonderful again. Following her landmark Getting to "I Do", Patricia Allen, the "Love Doctor" to over five thousand happily married couples, shares her proven methods for making a marriage come alive with love, passion, intimacy, and openness.

Dr. Allen's methods are so simple and basic as to be revolutionary. In each of us there is masculine energy, which leads, provides, and cherishes; and feminine energy, which follows, respects, and responds, sexually and lovingly. In a modern marriage, where freedom of choice can be perplexing, these energies must blend and flow together. They must complement each other; they must not compete. Once we acknowledge our individual energies and learn to communicate appropriately the ground is set for a truly satisfying marriage--physically, mentally, and emotionally.

About this title

About the Author

Dr. Patricia Allen, who co-authored Getting to "I Do", is a psychotherapist with an extensive marriage and family practice in Los Angeles, where her Monday-night workshops at the Century City Playhouse have been attended by thousands. She lives with her husband in Newport Beach and has four grandchildren.

Sandra Harmon, who co-authored Getting to "I Do", is an Emmy Award-winning writer who collaborated with Priscilla Presley on the best-seller Elvis and Me. She is single and lives in New York City.

Dr. Allen's methods are so simple and basic as to be revolutionary. In each of us there is masculine energy, which leads, provides, and cherishes; and feminine energy, which follows, respects, and responds, sexually and lovingly. In a modern marriage, where freedom of choice can be perplexing, these energies must blend and flow together. They must complement each other; they must not compete. Once we acknowledge our individual energies and learn to communicate appropriately the ground is set for a truly satisfying marriage--physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

In the old days, men were men and women were women, but this is no longer true. Today we have multiple choices, and we need new concepts if we are to mate and marry and stay married. With poor role modeling by divorced parents, and conflicting media images of maleness and femaleness, men and women are creating a mixture of old traditions and new-age values to the confusion of everyone. Western culture has traditionally cast men as the protectors, leaders, and predominant doers. Men have traditionally proposed to women, have conferred status upon women, and have been the security providers. Women, on the other hand, have been the domesticators, the followers, the recipients-they have made themselves available to the life plans of men and have been responsive to male needs. Maleness, in this scheme, is the pragmatic, functional way in which we handle work and initiate action. It is verbal, centered in the left lobe of the brain. Femaleness is the passive, the receptive, the emotional centered in the right lobe of the brain; it can be represented as nonverbal energy. Its function in traditional terms is to serve as an outlet for emotion and a moral brake; it can be seen as the stable center that allows a relationship to develop and be maintained.

Although both male and female elements are vital to the makeup of both men and women, for a relationship to be healthy and successful, they must be reconciled and be complementary. In other words, there can only be one male and one female in every relationship.

Edition details

• Publisher: William Morrow
• Publication date: 1997
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0688052916
• ISBN 13: 9780688052911
• Binding: Hardcover
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 272