But How'd I Get in There in the First Place? Talking to Your Young Child About Sex - Softcover

Deborah Roffman

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0738205729 ISBN 13: 9780738205724

Publisher: Perseus Publishing, 2002

Synopsis

Young children ask questions about sex, sexuality, conception, and birth that can be embarrassing or uncomfortable for parents. With her characteristic good sense and cool head, author Deborah Roffman will put even the most awkward parents at ease, giving them the skills to talk confidently with young children about these important but delicate issues. In this wonderfully reassuring book, readers will learn that the key to talking with children about sex is knowing that their questions fall into three easily recognizable categories. At age three or four, kids are curious about geography ("Where was I before I was here?"), and at four or five, about delivery ("Exactly how did I get out of there?"). Finally, the six year old's classic stumper--"But how'd I get in there in the first place?"--is about cause and effect, not about imminent sexual activity! With the emotional and developmental underpinnings of a child's curiosity understood, parents will find their tongues; with Deborah Roffman's wise, warm and practical advice, they will be well prepared for the inevitable flow of questions in the years to come.

About this title

About the Author

Deborah Roffman is a former member of the National Advisory Council for Sexual Health. Her work on childhood and teen sexuality has appeared in the Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, and Boston Globe. She lives in Baltimore, Maryland.

Reviews

The "Go Parents!" series (e.g., Teaching Your Children Good Manners) is designed to infuse the task of carrying out parental responsibilities with humor and enjoyment. The latest entry tackles sexuality issues. Berkenkamp, a mother of four, and Atkins, a child psychologist, offer basic advice and information on what to expect for each age group, toddler to age 12, with a short sample question-and-answer section at the end. In a useful twist, they recommend asking children what they think is the answer to a question before beginning an explanation. Each chapter contains a games-and-activities section, a nice feature. This book is accessible, easy to read, and free of intellectual leanings. Recommended for public libraries with the caveat that it does not address teenagers. Roffman is a certified sexuality educator and author of Sex and Sensibility: The Thinking Parent's Guide to Talking Sense About Sex. Like her first book, this one takes a highly intellectual approach while conveying information through an excellent "five universal needs" structure (i.e., affirmation, information giving, values clarification, limit setting, and anticipatory guidance). But there are few sample dialogs, questions raised in one section may be answered unexpectedly much later or sometimes not at all, and the author assumes upper- to middle-class intellectual/cultural background and knowledge. An optional purchase; better buys are Sol and Judith Gordon's Raising a Child Responsibly in a Sexually Permissive World, which also addresses disabled youth, and Mary Calderone and James Ramey's Talking with Your Child About Sex, still valuable for its copious sample questions and answers. Martha Cornog, Philadelphia
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Edition details

• Publisher: Perseus Publishing
• Publication date: 2002
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0738205729
• ISBN 13: 9780738205724
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 176