The Surrendered Wife: A Woman's Guide to True Intimacy with a Man - Softcover

Doyle, Laura

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0743209176 ISBN 13: 9780743209175

Publisher: Simon & Schuster, 2001

Synopsis

At 30, Laura Doyle, like millions of women, was miserable in her marriage, but she couldn't put her finger on the cause. "I was lonely and I was exhausted from trying to do everything myself. When I learned to stop controlling and criticising my husband and practised receiving graciously, something magical happened. The union I had always dreamed of appeared. The man who had wooed me was back," writes Doyle.

A radical approach to relationships. Doyle suggests that in order to enjoy a great marriage, a woman should surrender herself to her husband. She claims that if they stop criticising and controlling their husbands, and respect and trust them instead, then women will find the intimacy they crave.

About this title

Review

Self-proclaimed "feminist and former shrew" Laura Doyle sets forth a whopper of a game plan for establishing profound intimacy in one's marriage. Building on the gender stereotypes defined by bestselling author John Gray (Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus), Doyle seeks to heal the overworked, underappreciated wife who snarls at her mate's every thought or action. Her message to these smart, self-sufficient types: check the nitpicking, the unsolicited opinions, and--egads!--the finances at the marital door (although she says it's still okay to wield control at work). Many women will find such advice archaic and offensive; some will simply laugh off this credential-free anachronism when they receive the book as a bridal-shower gag gift. Still others, identifying with Doyle's profile of a controlling wife, will be curious enough to dabble in her proposed art of "surrendering."

According to Doyle, the wife who chooses to surrender must learn to take care of herself first, overcome the desire to have more power, and abandon the myth of equality. Delving into the personal tales and sisterly advice shared within each chapter's pages, surrendering wives will further note the need to master unsavory phrases like "I can't," and "Whatever you think"--tough to swallow for a generation of women who value their own opinions. While she fully acknowledges that a few bills will go unpaid and a few deadlines or freeway exits will occasionally be missed, she also insists that surrendered wives will encounter less worry and fear, more money, and better sex. Hey, "Whatever you think...." --Liane Thomas

From the Publisher

Relinquishing Control is Wife's Key to Intimacy

While this book will certainly cause more of a stir than the average relationship book, particularly among feminists, it may also prove more significant. Doyle's philosophy is noticeably out of step with the prevailing thinking of our time, but she seems to have her finger on the pulse of a new trend.

"Surrendering to your husband is about being intimate with him in a way that's both gratifying and terrifying" Doyle writes. "A surrendered wife is vulnerable where she used to be a nag, trusting where she used to be controlling, grateful where she used to be dissatisfied and has faith where she once had doubt."

Doyle should know. Much of the book is written from her personal experience of morphing from a controlling, self-described shrew into a respectful wife who decided to take her husband's name for their ninth anniversary.

Written with a healthy dose of humor, The Surrendered Wife describes a movement that started with women meeting in Doyle's living room to support each other in embracing a philosophy that sounds outlandish. Still, the real-life anecdotes from the relationships of the women who pioneered this movement are inspiring. More importantly, they illustrate Doyle's point that wives who practice the fine art of receiving graciously are happier than those who "do it all."

Like ancient wisdom passed quietly around the homefires from one wise woman to the next, Doyle shares the radical, powerful philosophy of The Surrendered Wife in a way that is both compelling and comforting. This extraordinary guide is full of practical exercises designed to help women relinquish inappropriate control of their husbands and find the courage to be vulnerable: a vital ingredient for an intimate marriage.

This book epitomizes an ironic twist in the evolution of feminism--a movement that ad-dressed what women wanted in the workplace, but said little about what to expect from their husbands. The Surrendered Wife encourages every controlling wife to make her own paradigm shift and take a spiritual path to find the union she always dreamed was possible.

Edition details

• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Publication date: 2001
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0743209176
• ISBN 13: 9780743209175
• Binding: Paperback