Hello, my name is Doctor Chronos -you can call me Albert - and I'm going on a journey, an incredible journey through history. Would you like to come? It's going to be fun ... and nasty. When I was a boy, about 200 years ago, I thought history was boring. Then grew up and built this machine. It's a time machine. When I went to see what history was really like I sure got a big surprise. There's all kinds of stuff they don't tell you about in school. Let me show you some of the things we're going to see ... We'll be meeting the Putrid Pirates. A nasty bunch of fellows. Running around robbing people and doing lots of nasty things to their enemies - and each other. Then there are the Churlish Chinese. Civilized for thousands of years, but with plenty of gruesome skeletons in their closet ... After that we'll drop in on Egotistical Egyptians. Great fellows for building pyramids, but you wouldn't want to be around on pay day - find out why ... Next come the Gargantuan Greeks. Famous for their poets, playwrights and philosophers - and also for their long, pointy spears and their gooey habits with animal guts ... We'll visit Rancid Romans. A clever lot who won a huge empire and liked nothing better than watching people being eaten by lions on their day off...
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