The Single Truth: Challenging the Misconceptions of Singleness with God's Consuming Truth - Softcover

Smith, Lori

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0768430046 ISBN 13: 9780768430042

Publisher: Destiny Image Publishers, 2002

Synopsis

The Single Truth

If you are single and struggling with its attendant "stigma," The Single Truth offers you God's liberating truths about singleness. Lori Smith clears away the fog and lies surrounding singleness and challenges you to live a full life and to see your singleness as a part of God's good plan. She powerfully affirms that:

1. You are deeply loved by God.
2. Marriage isn't better or worse—it's different.
3. You have no need to be ashamed about your singleness.
4. You can be content.

About this title

About the Author

Lori Smith works and writes in northern Virginia, where she hikes in the Shenandoahs, frequents a local ballet studio, and throws the occasional pity party in the midst of her otherwise contented thirty-something single life. She writes regularly for Crosswalk.com. Her writing has also appeared in Today's Christian Woman and Christian Single Magazine.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

"Last weekend, when I turned off the TV and had some time to think, I came to peace about something." Brian spoke slowly, but deliberately. "I came to peace with the fact that I'm just not ready to be married yet. Honestly, I just can't see myself getting married anytime in the next two years."

Brian and I had been dating for over a year. As I listened, I felt my soul pulling away, like when you drew in your breath after you skinned your knee when you were a kid. For a minute, you didn't feel any pain; you were just stunned.

A wave of grief and loneliness was building just in front of me, ready to swallow me, and I couldn't get away.

I sat there, trying to get the world to stop spinning, trying to comprehend the weight of what was just spoken.

After several minutes, I spoke, sensing that the words didn't come from me but from God. "Well, it was a good year."

"Yeah, it was a great year. It was a great year." From the look on his face, he meant every word.

Finally, the tears came. We sat in silence for a long time. I followed Brian numbly into the kitchen as he put up his glass, and then we prayed. We sat awkwardly on the stairs of the townhouse. We didn't touch, but it was enough to be there together, praying, thanking God for His blessings, grace, and guidance, asking for His strength.

"Talk to you later." With that, he shut the door. I stood there leaning against the corner for the next five minutes. I was still numb; I couldn't comprehend how I would survive the days and weeks and years that stretched bleakly in front of me.

I had never experienced that kind of pain. I felt like the foundation of my world had collapsed, and I couldn't break my fall.

That following Sunday, my pastor preached a message that seemed to be aimed directly at me. It was about the peace of God and the hope we can have in the worst situation when we know God is using it for our good, making something beautiful with it. With that message, God gave me hope that would carry me through the dark days to come. He would use this loss to carve away at my black heart and make me more like Him. Something new would be born in me-a new peace, a new humility, a more genuine love. In spite of all this-through all this-God would work good, and He would make me a little more right in the process. I held on to that promise.

I don't remember much about the next few months except that they were dark. The healing process was predictable only in the fact that it was unpredictable. I wrote in my journal:

Just when I think I'll never be done with it, I'm suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of peace and light and direction. I have a strength I didn't know I had. Then, other times, I'm strong and sure, when I'm hit square between the eyes with the worst kind of pain. It still takes my breath away, and literally makes me feel like I'll throw up. It's been just over a month. It feels like so much longer.

When I was down in the worst places, I knew hope would break through. And when I was strong, I knew terrible pain would come.

Before Brian and I started going out, I had come to a place in life where I was content. It hadn't been easy-and the battle hadn't been completely won-but I was delighting in God as I never had before. Life was joyful, in spite of singleness. God's love filled my life.

I'm finding it hard to recover that contentment.

My natural, systemic worry is fueled by the gray hair that's becoming more noticeable and by an intense gnawing doubt that perhaps I'll never marry. I was designed to get married and have a family; it's built into my nature. I may never realize that dream. The potential loss is monumental. On my bad days, I don't know if I can live with that kind of disappointment and still keep my faith.

Is it possible to find victory here? It must be, with God's help.

If I'm not able to relinquish this dream, I'm afraid I'll be spiritually and emotionally crippled. God has to be able to get me past this.

At the same time, I feel rather foolish for feeling this pain so deeply. So many people out there have hurt much more than I have. I have a wonderful family and good friends; my needs are met more than abundantly.

Yet, I have the gall to be depressed about being single? It seems selfish and petty. God has given me so much-am I going to hold this against Him?

However small this issue may seem, for me it is a deeply personal and private pain. And the more single men and women I talk to, the more convinced I am that I'm not alone.

I hope this journey together leads us closer to wholeness, peace, and an intimate knowledge of God.

Edition details

• Publisher: Destiny Image Publishers
• Publication date: 2002
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0768430046
• ISBN 13: 9780768430042
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 176