Affairs: A Guide to Working Through the Repercussions of Infidelity - Softcover

Brown, Emily M.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0787950041 ISBN 13: 9780787950040

Publisher: Jossey-Bass Inc Pub, 1999

Synopsis

A Wonderfully Supportive Guide from an Internationally Recognized Authority on Affairs

"Emily Brown has written a must-read book for anyone going through the searing pain of infidelity. First she deciphers the five types of affairs, then she gives clear step-by-step procedures to help both partners deal with it and even grow from it. It's a real achievement." --Marguerite Kelly, syndicated columnist, The Family Almanac and author, Marguerite Kelly's Family Almanac

"Finally, a book on affairs that pulls no punches!. . . . It's the book I'll put at the top of my list to recommend to both professionals and to husbands, wives, and lovers. Highly recommended."-Isolina Ricci, author, Mom's House, Dad's House: The Complete Guide for Parents Who Are Separated, Divorced, or Remarried

About this title

About the Author

EMILY M. BROWN, LCSW, MSW, is the founder and director of the Key Bridge Therapy and Mediation Center in Arlington, VA. She is the author of Patterns of Infidelity and Their Treatment and a noted international expert on the issue of affairs. Brown has appeared as a guest on numerous radio and television talk shows including Oprah, The Today Show, and National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation.

From the Back Cover

Crazy-making. Confusing. Traumatizing. Infuriating. Every emotion in between . . .
Affairs are never just about sex. But because sexual betrayals strike deep emotional chords, some of our natural responses create barriers to resolution. Affairs helps members of the affair triangle understand and address the issues that led to the affair and to move beyond those barriers-freeing them to address old issues and learn new relationship skills.
Drawing on more than twenty-five years of experience as a therapist, Emily M. Brown's practical and nonjudgmental handbook describes the different types of affairs and provides step-by-step guidance for identifying and resolving the real problems underlying each type of affair. Affairs presents a positive approach to resolving the pain, anger, and bewilderment that accompany an extramarital affair, so that couples can rebuild their marriage on firmer ground or end it with dignity. Affairs offers guidance on

• Identifying the affair type
  
• Deciding how to address the hidden affair
  
• Getting beyond obsessing about the affair
  
• Communicating honestly with your partner
  
• Assessing violence potential and taking preventive steps when needed
  
• Rebuilding trust
  
• Talking with children, family, and friends
  
• Finding helpful resources
  
• Reaching forgiveness

Affairs will help each member of the affair triangle talk about what has happened, work through the pain, resist impulsive actions, and-most important-move toward healing and forgiveness. Friends and relatives will gain understanding and insight, learning how to give the support needed as their loved ones explore the issues that need to be resolved. Affairs is a sensitive guide filled with the crucial information that each member of the affair triangle needs to resolve old problems and make intimacy a real possibility in the future.

A Wonderfully Supportive Guide from an Internationally Recognized Authority on Affairs

"Emily Brown has written a must-read book for anyone going through the searing pain of infidelity. First she deciphers the five types of affairs, then she gives clear step-by-step procedures to help both partners deal with it and even grow from it. It's a real achievement." Marguerite Kelly, syndicated columnist, The Family Almanac and author, Marguerite Kelly's Family Almanac

"Finally, a book on affairs that pulls no punches!. . . . It's the book I'll put at the top of my list to recommend to both professionals and to husbands, wives, and lovers. Highly recommended." Isolina Ricci, author, Mom's House, Dad's House: The Complete Guide for Parents Who Are Separated, Divorced, or Remarried

"Brown, a very well known expert in helping couples and professionals understand and handle affairs, provides important insight and tools for couples who want to overcome the betrayals associated with affairs and to 'fight for their marriage.'" Howard Markman, coauthor, Fighting for Your Marriage

"Emily Brown could be a lifesaver to anyone who's been touched by the trauma of an affair. She is an expert with new insights who writes beautifully." Jana Bommersbach, columnist, Phoenix Magazine and commentator, Good Morning Arizona

"Clearly written, without psychological jargon or obscure concepts, it will help couples to develop the unique solutions they need for their problems." Telmo M. Baptista, Faculty of Psychology and Education, University of Lisbon, Portugal and president, Portuguese Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies

From the Inside Flap

Crazy-making. Confusing. Traumatizing. Infuriating. Every emotion in between . . .Affairs are never just about sex. But because sexual betrayals strike deep emotional chords, some of our natural responses create barriers to resolution. Affairs helps members of the affair triangle understand and address the issues that led to the affair and to move beyond those barriers-freeing them to address old issues and learn new relationship skills. Drawing on more than twenty-five years of experience as a therapist, Emily M. Brown's practical and nonjudgmental handbook describes the different types of affairs and provides step-by-step guidance for identifying and resolving the real problems underlying each type of affair. Affairs presents a positive approach to resolving the pain, anger, and bewilderment that accompany an extramarital affair, so that couples can rebuild their marriage on firmer ground or And it with dignity. Affairs offers guidance on? Identifying the affair type? Deciding how to address the hidden affair? Getting beyond obsessing about the affair? Communicating honestly with your partner? Assessing violence potential and taking preventive steps when needed? Rebuilding trust? Talking with children, family, and friAnds? Finding helpful resources? Reaching forgiveness Affairs will help each member of the affair triangle talk about what has happened, work through the pain, resist impulsive actions, and-most important-move toward healing and forgiveness. FriAnds and relatives will gain understanding and insight, learning how to give the support needed as their loved ones explore the issues that need to be resolved. Affairs is a sensitive guide filled with the crucial information that each member of the affair triangle needs to resolve old problems and make intimacy a real possibility in the future.A Wonderfully Supportive Guide from an Internationally Recognized Authority on Affairs"Emily Brown has written a must-read

Reviews

Brown, director of the Key Bridge Therapy and Mediation Center, puts her experiences as therapist and mediator to good purpose in her book. She outlines five types of affairs: conflict avoidance, intimacy avoidance, sexual addiction, split self, and exit. She then profiles each of these types and explains what kind of work cheaters and their spouses in each type of situation need to do to repair the damage done to their marriage by the infidelity. (In an uncommon move, she also offers advice for the third party in the affair.) Brown explains clearly that if an affair happens, there was usually a problem in place beforehandAand that the problem needs to be solved before the marriage can flourish. Although the exercises offered in the book seem a little datedAdoes anyone still talk about his or her inner child?Athis book is a commonsense and easy-to-read overview of a problem said to touch 70 percent of marriages. Recommended for public libraries.APamela A. Matthews, Gettysburg Coll. Lib., PA
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Edition details

• Publisher: Jossey-Bass Inc Pub
• Publication date: 1999
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0787950041
• ISBN 13: 9780787950040
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 250