Learning From Divorce: How to Take Responsibility, Stop the Blame, and Move On - Hardcover

LaCrosse, Robert; Christine A. Coates

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0787964166 ISBN 13: 9780787964160

Publisher: Jossey-Bass, 2003

Synopsis

Learning from Divorce, by Christine A. Coates and E. Robert LaCrosse, is a practical book that will help you rid yourself of negative feelings of guilt and worry and replace them with positive feelings of growth and hope. Learning from Divorce will show you how to confront your fears and flaws, motivate you to move forward toward change, develop realistic hopes about succeeding with future relationships, and turn your failures into victories!

In this groundbreaking book the authors explain that divorce can be viewed as a developmental process, a period of transformation and growth. They help the reader understand why the divorce happened in the first place— how unrealistic expectations of a permanent honeymoon or a partner who would satisfy their infantile needs and solve all their childhood problems have so often led to immature and self-centered behavior. In place of this attitude, Learning from Divorce provides the reader with a more realistic view of marriage as a long-term commitment requiring loyalty, compromise, devotion, perseverance, and selflessness. This book shows that the rewards of love and family exceed most any other joy or aspiration in one's life and will help you.

About this title

From the Inside Flap

Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. If you are part of this statistic and have recently divorced, then you are no stranger to the emotional, relational, and financial burden that divorce often leaves behind. Like many others, you may be stuck in feelings of guilt, regret, and worry for the future.

Learning from Divorce, by Christine A. Coates and E. Robert LaCrosse, is a practical book that will help you rid yourself of negative feelings of guilt and worry and replace them with positive feelings of growth and hope. Learning from Divorce will show you how to confront your fears and flaws, motivate you to move forward toward change, develop realistic hopes about succeeding with future relationships, and turn your failures into victories!

In this groundbreaking book the authors explain that divorce can be viewed as a developmental process, a period of transformation and growth. They help the reader understand why the divorce happened in the first place–how unrealistic expectations of a permanent honeymoon or a partner who would satisfy their infantile needs and solve all their childhood problems have so often led to immature and self-centered behavior. In place of this attitude, Learning from Divorce provides the reader with a more realistic view of marriage as a long-term commitment requiring loyalty, compromise, devotion, perseverance, and selflessness. This book shows that the rewards of love and family exceed most any other joy or aspiration in one’s life and will help you

• Understand how your hidden needs, developmental struggles, and other unresolved conflicts related to the cause of your divorce
• Learn which of your defenses, dependencies, and unrealistic expectations affect your relationship
• Know when it’s time to search for and evaluate a potential partner
• Focus on giving love rather than receiving it

Filled with self-tests, checklists, and specific guidelines, this book will help you on your journey toward a new understanding of yourself. Learning from Divorce gives you the personal insight and motivation to stop the blame, take charge, and move forward with your life.

From the Back Cover

Divorce as a Developmental Process, a Period of Transformation and Growth

"Learning from Divorce is empathic without being maudlin, optimistic without being Pollyanna-ish, and hopeful without being unrealistic. It’s a must-read for anyone who is divorcing or has already divorced."
–Sue A. Waters, M.A., founder, Parenting After Divorce, Denver, Colorado

"Coates and LaCrosse combine their collective years of experience and apply their insights, intellect, spirituality, and training to bring us this wonderful book, which will benefit everyone who has suffered through a failed relationship. Using their work to understand the dynamics of failed relationships brings promise of enriched present and future intimate partnerships."
–Hon. Arline S. Rotman (ret.), Massachusetts Probate and Family Court

"Following divorce, many find their confidence shattered, yet most remarry. This book restores shaken confidence and gently confronts and fortifies the reader with how to fine-tune judgment and self-esteem–the keys to more successful future relationships."
–Carla B. Garrity and Mitchell A. Baris, coauthors, Caught in the Middle

"At a time when people are feeling totally lost, Christie Coates and Robert LaCrosse have provided a personal road map, applicable to all, for finding a way back to themselves. Therapists and mediators will find this book to be a valuable resource for their clients as they traverse this most difficult time in their lives."
–Arnold Shienvold, Ph.D., psychologist and mediator, past president of the Association for Conflict Resolution and the Academy of Family Mediators

Edition details

• Publisher: Jossey-Bass
• Publication date: 2003
• ISBN 10: 0787964166
• ISBN 13: 9780787964160
• Binding: Hardcover
• Language: English
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 272