The church places many expectations on modern Christian women, especially when it comes to motherhood. Often women are discouraged and frustrated, feeling they can never measure up. Carla Barnhill asserts in The Myth of the Perfect Mother that much of what we understand to be God's ideal is actually based on secular culture. Barnhill addresses several issues mothers struggle with, including homeschooling, spanking, working vs. staying at home, depression, and social isolation, and offers a positive view of motherhood based on biblical principles. The Myth of the Perfect Mother provides encouragement for women who face the realities of motherhood and need to be reminded that their ultimate worth lies in their relationship with God. It also provides valuable insight for pastors and counselors who minister to women and families.
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What happens when the very faith community to which a confused and overwhelmed mother turns for help contributes to her depressed state by preaching a message of impossible idealism? Barnhill, editor of Christian Parenting Today, bravely tackles some ingrained perceptions and attitudes toward motherhood within the evangelical Christian subculture. Based on sound research and the stories of more than 50 women surveyed, her book compiles a compelling case for re-evaluating and exploring the myths of motherhood. When churches elevate the role of motherhood, and family life in general, to "a position of importance that is out of synch with the call of the gospel," women struggle "with the incongruity between who God created them to be and who the church tells them they should be." Addressing such key topics as depression among mothers, disciplining children, the importance of work and the need for relationships, Barnhill finds her strength in the personal anecdotes peppered throughout the book. Her writing is well-informed, honest and engaging, but could be fine-tuned at points. Although she briefly mentions some practical suggestions for churches and ministers, like starting up a Bible study for mothers with childcare included, the book could benefit from additional advice on how best to change the distorted theology she so successfully identifies.
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