Although life was physically more difficult in the days of the horse and carriage, we complained much less back then, and when we did, our complaints were more likely to get results. Today we complain about everything--yet do so with remarkable ineffectiveness. Most of us grumble, vent, and kvetch, neither expecting nor getting meaningful resolutions. Wasting prodigious amounts of time and energy on unproductive complaints can take an emotional and psychological toll on our moods and well-being. We desperately need to relearn the art of complaining effectively.
Psychotherapist Guy Winch offers practical and psychologically grounded advice on how to determine what to complain about and what to let slide. He demonstrates how to convey our complaints in ways that encourage cooperation and increase the likelihood of getting resolutions to our dissatisfactions. The principles he spells out apply whether we're dealing with a rude store clerk, a bureaucrat, a coworker, our teenager, or a spouse or partner who's driving us crazy.
Complaining constructively can be extremely empowering and it can significantly strengthen our personal, familial, and work relationships. Applying our new-found complaining skills to customer service representatives, corporate leaders, and elected officials increases the odds that our comments will be taken seriously. If we all complained more effectively, squeaky wheels could change our own lives as well as the world for the better.
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Guy Winch, Ph.D., received a doctorate in clinical psychology from New York University, completed a postdoctoral fellowship in family and couple therapy, and has been using complaints as a therapeutic tool in his psychotherapy practice for more than a decade. He also dabbles in stand-up comedy. This is his first book.
Psychotherapist and amateur stand-up comic Winch tackles a pervasive problem with modern society: whining. We have become a "nation of squeakers," he claims, contending that "ineffective complaining can damage self-esteem, lead to depression and anxiety, and hinder our careers." In eight sections, ranging from "The Ineffective Squeaker Doesn't Get the Grease" to "Squeaking as Social Activism," Winch reviews the past, present, and future of complaining, noting its evolution from rare occurrence to modern habit; we constantly vent about our emotions. He illustrates the psychological functions and social benefits of complaining, and supports observations with research effectively woven together with examples from his personal life, private practice, and the world beyond in a way that makes his suggestions easy to implement. Not only does Winch provide the recipe for "a complaint sandwich," (a novel, step-by-step process for complaining, using the parts of a sandwich that correspond to the components of a complaint), but he also focus on effectively interacting with loved ones, customer service reps, and our communities. His conversational tone is infused with humor, making his first book a thoroughly enjoyable read.
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